help with 2 dates

[Roober]

Okay, so I didn't want to make a new thread, but I am so new to this dating thing, so I need some help... 2 dates tomorrow...

Girl 1 at 530. First date with flake potential. She texted today to confirm. "We are still on for tomorrow right?" chatted a little bit.
1. How do I end a date if it is going well? I tend to like to keep a good thing rolling

Girl 2 at 800. Second date with her. Lots of kino throughout date, and made out pretty good at end of first date. She has reached out quite a bit the last week. She did flake on me Sunday cause she was sick. Apologized again today...
1. Meeting for drinks about 20 min drive from my house
2. I am thinking second location will be closer to my place, although there is very little between my house and where we are going. I know a good pool hall, mini golf, and dave and busters about halfway.
3. How do I get her to my house? Sounds stupid, but is a "want to go watch a movie?" sufficient? I have KODI, so I have every movie that is out right now.

Need some other ideas...

By the way, haven't been able to daygame lately with my boys. But Coffee Meets Bagel has been good. I have had 6 convos in the last week. This will be my second date, and I am still talking to other 2. This app is good for me cause I tend to do better with women with an education. Sounds stupid, but I feel like I have a harder time with girls that don't have an education.

 

[Roober]

Okay, so.... just journaling a bit here... but exactly what I feared... happened

530pm: Claudia (1st date) - we were both about 15 minutes late, and I actually caught her in the parking lot. I would say strong 7 with a great booty. Anywho, we are in an hour or so, and the vibe just isn't there, so I was like "perfect, I can awkwardly end this no problem". Then something shifted, maybe it was when I asked about her interests, if she could open a business, or thought-provoking questions. About 700, she shifted, started making much more eye contact, light kino, ordered another drink, just seemed much more into it. Then 745pm hits, and I text second date that I am running late. So, I try to mellow it out and ask for the check... she looks at me like "What??? were done???" So we talk for another 20 mins, definitely back to the beginning of the date mood, give her a hug and she says "nice to meet you"

845, Sunnie (second date) - Didn't really say why I was 45 mins late, just apologized. She didn't really dig either. So small dinner and dessert. She had saved some food for me, and I was already near stuffed, so I nibbled. Took her to Dave and Buster's and hung out there till like 1200. Said "Let's go back to my place and watch a movie". She refused with "you have to work early" and "I won't make it to school tomorrow if I do". Made out for a bit and asked again (bad move). Anywho, we talked for a little bit and she was like, "when do I get to see you again? next week?" Just said not sure and good night...

So no more two dates... I figured one of them would flake, but I guess that would just leave me with an open night to go cold approach or do something else fun.

I sent Claudia a message around 10. "I had fun and would like to see you again. I apologize for cutting it short" which after thinking about it was likely completely pointless. I suppose if there was interest and she was upset about me cutting it short, she will reach out. If not, I won't hear from her again... either way, dating is definitely a good way to learn about women, so I will write this one off as a learning experience...

 

[Glassguy]

You're an over thinker. Be careful with that or it will come across as needy.

This is why I dont double book dates. If the first one gets rolling, you are stuck trying to get out of something that might get you laid.

Date1- I would have let her know early on in the date that she couldnt keep me out late because of work the next day, blah blah. That way she knows she is on a time limit. I think I would have sent her a quick text later in the night that said "Did you make it home ok?" and left it at that. She if she came back with "had a great time, when do I get to see you again?". It sounds like a couple more drinks and she could have been back at your place "watching a movie" lol.

Date 2- No harm in trying to close the deal and I am sure she wont hold it against you. When she said "You have to work early and I wont make it to school if we do", you still had a chance to close her.

Her: When do I get to see you again?
Me: Let me check my schedule tomorrow and I will let you know when I am free. Shoot me a quick text and let me know you made it home safely".

I remember that you said in another post that you have kid(s), so text her and let her know what day you're available.

"Hey Sunshine, there is a movie I am wanting to check out on ______ evening when I am free. Lets make dinner at my place and check it out. You bring the wine and I will provide the laughs and entertainment".

This will be date #3 with her, you need to get her to your place. She seems higher interest, so I would be striking while the iron is hot.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Date 1.
Three bar bounce

http://the3bromigos.com/2013/03/04/the-best-first-date-advice-you-will-read-this-year/

Date 2.

3. How do I get her to my house? Sounds stupid, but is a "want to go watch a movie?" sufficient? I have KODI, so I have every movie that is out right now.

Pretty much. But don't ask, phrase it like it's your plan for the evening and she is welcome to join you - 'I'm gonna head home for pizza and film if you wanna join me.' If she doesn't, fine. Let her on her way. Assume the sale.

Don't do mini golf, don't do sit down food. Far too soon for any of that mundane carry on.

 

[Roober]

You're an over thinker. Be careful with that or it will come across as needy.

This is why I dont double book dates. If the first one gets rolling, you are stuck trying to get out of something that might get you laid.

Date1- I would have let her know early on in the date that she couldnt keep me out late because of work the next day, blah blah. That way she knows she is on a time limit. I think I would have sent her a quick text later in the night that said "Did you make it home ok?" and left it at that. She if she came back with "had a great time, when do I get to see you again?". It sounds like a couple more drinks and she could have been back at your place "watching a movie" lol.

Date 2- No harm in trying to close the deal and I am sure she wont hold it against you. When she said "You have to work early and I wont make it to school if we do", you still had a chance to close her.

Her: When do I get to see you again?
Me: Let me check my schedule tomorrow and I will let you know when I am free. Shoot me a quick text and let me know you made it home safely".

I remember that you said in another post that you have kid(s), so text her and let her know what day you're available.

"Hey Sunshine, there is a movie I am wanting to check out on ______ evening when I am free. Lets make dinner at my place and check it out. You bring the wine and I will provide the laughs and entertainment".

This will be date #3 with her, you need to get her to your place. She seems higher interest, so I would be striking while the iron is hot.

Good stuff! I am soooo new to this, feel like I make so many mistakes... double booking was the first one...the overthinking is likely due to the inexperience...

-Should have prefaced first date with I can't stay out late

For second girl
-I did the "shoot me a text when you get home" line as I almost always do
-Also, before the end, she said "next time, maybe I can get that meal you were going to cook for me"

Recommendations for closing date 2 after initial denial?

 

[Glassguy]

Good stuff! I am soooo new to this, feel like I make so many mistakes... double booking was the first one...the overthinking is likely due to the inexperience...

-Should have prefaced first date with I can't stay out late

For second girl
-I did the "shoot me a text when you get home" line as I almost always do
-Also, before the end, she said "next time, maybe I can get that meal you were going to cook for me"

Recommendations for closing date 2 after initial denial?

If thats exactly what the chick said, she didnt deny you. She only threw a road block in the way. Its up to you to move it, confidently.

"If I come over I will miss class tomorrow". "Hey if things go that far, dont worry. I have an extra tooth brush and alarm clock. There are a few movies that Ive had my eye on, lets go check them out......".

You are already past that. She already mentioned that meal you are going to make. Get her over there and do heavy kino during the making of the meal (dont make it until she gets there). You should be plowing in no time flat. She is telling you she wants to come over.

 

[dustmuffin]

First dates should only last an hour. Even if they are going well.

 

[Roober]

First dates should only last an hour. Even if they are going well.

I have heard that... how do you end it? I mean, we got a small bite, but that didn't come till 45 mins in...

 

[Roober]

If thats exactly what the chick said, she didnt deny you. She only threw a road block in the way. Its up to you to move it, confidently.

"If I come over I will miss class tomorrow". "Hey if things go that far, dont worry. I have an extra tooth brush and alarm clock. There are a few movies that Ive had my eye on, lets go check them out......".

You are already past that. She already mentioned that meal you are going to make. Get her over there and do heavy kino during the making of the meal (dont make it until she gets there). You should be plowing in no time flat. She is telling you she wants to come over.

Thanks! Total noob here...

 

[dustmuffin]

I have heard that... how do you end it? I mean, we got a small bite, but that didn't come till 45 mins in...

Just do drinks only on a first date. No food. I just estimate the time. When an hour rolls around I ask for the check. Pay stand up and say I'll walk you to your car. She will follow your lead. At car go for kiss.

 

[Roober]

Just do drinks only on a first date. No food. I just estimate the time. When an hour rolls around I ask for the check. Pay stand up and say I'll walk you to your car. She will follow your lead. At car go for kiss.

I am not a big fan of hard rules, but I will definitely give that a try

 

[The Duke]

I've had first dates that lasted an hour, been on first dates that lasted 5 and produced 2nd and 3rd dates from all of this. Do what works for you and her. There are no hard/fast rules to anything in life. Its really important to gage her interest/vibe. The only thing for certain is leave her on a high note!

 

[sazc]

I have heard that... how do you end it? I mean, we got a small bite, but that didn't come till 45 mins in...

Coffee or drinks only for a first date, appetizers maybe, but not a good plan if you are trying to get out of there. When you set the date up, just say "i'd love to meet you at 6 for drinks, but I only have about an hour"
Even if you plan a first date for a Friday or Saturday night, my opinion is that these should be around 6pm and only for a quick drink. For a first date on a Friday or Saturday night it is perfectly fine to tell them up front that you have plans with friends at 8, 9, etc but you want to meet, have a drink and chat for an hour to get to know them. If the chick throws any kind of a fit, guaranteed there is more of these to come and you might want to consider nexting her.

That said, if the first date is going extremely well, there's no reason not to stay and see it thru

 

[TheGambino]

How to get her to your place?

''Lets go have a drink at my place, I have an awesome wine at home waiting for us'' or ''Lets go have a drink at my place''?

If you did well on the date:

yes sure !
eazypeazy

 

[Glassguy]

How to get her to your place?

''Lets go have a drink at my place, I have an awesome wine at home waiting for us'' or ''Lets go have a drink at my place''?

If you did well on the date:

yes sure !
eazypeazy

Of all the times this has worked for me, I'm still waiting to have that drink when we get back to my place lol. I swear we just never make it around to it once we get there.

 

[Roober]

Coffee or drinks only for a first date, appetizers maybe, but not a good plan if you are trying to get out of there. When you set the date up, just say "i'd love to meet you at 6 for drinks, but I only have about an hour"
Even if you plan a first date for a Friday or Saturday night, my opinion is that these should be around 6pm and only for a quick drink. For a first date on a Friday or Saturday night it is perfectly fine to tell them up front that you have plans with friends at 8, 9, etc but you want to meet, have a drink and chat for an hour to get to know them. If the chick throws any kind of a fit, guaranteed there is more of these to come and you might want to consider nexting her.

That said, if the first date is going extremely well, there's no reason not to stay and see it thru

Noted! I should have prefaced it when I set it up... Would have probably ended much smoother.

 

[sazc]

Noted! I should have prefaced it when I set it up... Would have probably ended much smoother.

You live, you ask, you learn

 

[dustmuffin]

If she wants to go to your house she will. It doesn't mater what you say. Lets watch a movie, get a drink at my house. If she is attracted and receptive she will go. I have a couple of cats. If the woman likes cats Ill say lets drop over to my place and you can meet my cats.

It doesn't mater what you invite her over for. You must take action and invite her over for something. Either she is in or out. If you get rejected its no big deal. You can ask her out again and maybe the next time. If she says no a second or third time then you can move on knowing that you did your best. If you don't ask you will never receive.

 

[marmel75]

Never initiate a text with a woman you just saw that night...unless you want to come looking desperate

 

[TheGambino]

GET BACK TO TWERKING GET BACK TO WORKING, F8CK HER BRAINS OUT PIMP