"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Help - Wish my gf had a hotter face

Oneday_

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We've been together a year now and she's a very good companion. Supportive, has my back, communicates well, good career orientated.

Problem is I've been finding that 95% of other women seem more attractive to me in comparison lately and it's left me wishing she was cuter. Is this normal? It's bothersome because I'm comparing and idealizing the "perfect" woman through physical attributes mostly like everywhere we go and my eyes latch on to someone.

I haven't been in a long term relationship in over 5 years prior to this and it's very conflicting
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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G_Govan

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Seems you've dated down. There are pros and cons which I'm sure you've realized, and what you're experiencing is one of the cons. That nagging feeling that you could do better that doesn't seem to go away...
 

Von

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Review why you are with her.

Physical attraction goes down naturally but she has to stimulate you.

Having been in relationship where the girl was considered 10/10 or too pretty for me by some people.... beauty is abstract. Even I was tempted by other girls, its natural and it suck

If you are happy in the relationship keep it there, if it make you doubt to the point that you are unhappy. Either plastic surgery or find a new one but will you be satisfied?
 

Oneday_

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I do believe it's the nagging feeling of thinking I can do better. Does that ever go away even if you're with someone both super attractive and great company?
 

LiveFreeX

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No it doesn't and there is no one that is both super attractive and good company, those things are mutually exclusive. Hot women are showered with attention and therefore don't develop stimulating personalities. In contrast ugly women are more down to Earth and spend more time participating in hobbies and interests as men tend to leave them alone or shun them for good looking women. The ugs are very rarely demanding or high maintenance. You've just got to decide which you'd rather have, a good looking pain in the ass with loads of stress or a nice girl that is somewhat boring to the eye. I went with the nice one because I prefer free time for hobbies, no stress and a smooth life. My previous girls were fairly hot and caused me a MASSIVE amount of stress and heartache.... always dealing with cheating, back talk, rudeness, flakiness... nah fvck that sh1t, I'd rather spend my time flying spaceships around the galaxy while eating home cooked meals then dealing with drama from a useless b1tch who needs to be forever entertained.

I'll tell you what, right now my wife is sitting beside me reading a book and rubbing my leg as she does every night before bed. Today she made me a fantastic dinner of fried rice and butter chicken with a coconut bubble tea for desert. In a few minutes I'm gonna go and put in an hour in my favorite game without worry. For valentines day she brought me a rose that she got from work. We are buying a quadplex shortly and taking up residence in one of the 4 apartments while letting the other 3 pay for our rent. My wife hands me her paycheck every 2 weeks for our savings account. I don't have to worry about where she is or what she's doing, she prefers to stay at home in our room and read books. I think she must have read the entire library by now.

This type of lifestyle simply doesn't exist with high performance women.
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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wifehunter

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I do believe it's the nagging feeling of thinking I can do better. Does that ever go away even if you're with someone both super attractive and great company?
The grass is always greener on the other side?
 

Desdinova

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First of all, how old are you?

Problem is I've been finding that 95% of other women seem more attractive to me in comparison lately and it's left me wishing she was cuter.
Yeah, I wish mine was cuter, but she's not. However, she makes me feel like I'm important and wonderful. Highly attractive women are more focused on making themselves feel important and wonderful.

I've honestly become tired of the endless strings of fvcking lots of different (and attractive) women. Give me a STR or LTR over that any day. I have more fun with the progression of a relationship as opposed of putting notches in the bedpost.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I do believe it's the nagging feeling of thinking I can do better. Does that ever go away even if you're with someone both super attractive and great company?
Does she have her own money? Does she work? Does she help you? Are you considering you can do better in looks, which you probably can easily, or a better companion?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Tamura

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95% more attractive than your girl is quite a number. This nagging feeling will never subside and eventually you will hold her responsible for your missed chances.

In terms of settling down the best you can do is a low-maintenance girl. Anyways you will never get 100% security. Decide for you, if you can be happy with her.
 

mrgoodstuff

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95% more attractive than your girl is quite a number. This nagging feeling will never subside and eventually you will hold her responsible for your missed chances.

In terms of settling down the best you can do is a low-maintenance girl. Anyways you will never get 100% security. Decide for you, if you can be happy with her.
How is the sex?
 

Malcontent

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I had this same feeling with a chick. I was with her 7 years. Great sex, cooked, loyal, integrity, etc. I just thought I could get a hotter girl. Years later, I've been with better looking gals, but her dedication was still the best by far.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I had this same feeling with a chick. I was with her 7 years. Great sex, cooked, loyal, integrity, etc. I just thought I could get a hotter girl. Years later, I've been with better looking gals, but her dedication was still the best by far.
Whats better? :)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Malcontent

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Whats better? :)
I don't feel I have sufficient data to say one way or the other. I think I had the most fun with the 7 year girl. The latest gf I had was a 9ish -- people were always asking to take pictures of her, guys asking her out when I was more than 5 feet away from her, etc. I was always having to step in and maintain. Maybe I 'm just lazy, but I'm not a fan of having to constantly fight to keep a chick. It was pretty miserable. I miss her looks and the few times we had good sex. Maybe if I had higher value, it wouldve been easier, but that's an ongoing area of improvement.

If you have a Ferrari, you're going to worry someone may steal it. It looks nice, it's fun to drive, you feel like a badazz, but the maintenance and insurance are expensive. How much energy are you willing to put into it?
 

mrgoodstuff

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I don't feel I have sufficient data to say one way or the other. I think I had the most fun with the 7 year girl. The latest gf I had was a 9ish -- people were always asking to take pictures of her, guys asking her out when I was more than 5 feet away from her, etc. I was always having to step in and maintain. Maybe I 'm just lazy, but I'm not a fan of having to constantly fight to keep a chick. It was pretty miserable. I miss her looks and the few times we had good sex. Maybe if I had higher value, it wouldve been easier, but that's an ongoing area of improvement.

If you have a Ferrari, you're going to worry someone may steal it. It looks nice, it's fun to drive, you feel like a badazz, but the maintenance and insurance are expensive. How much energy are you willing to put into it?
I was thinking the more humble girl was down to earth enough not to put the price of good sex on top of a mountain top and it's going to be good because it has to be good. Whereas the 9 or 10 is going to be extra picky, don't do this, don't do that, etc and it's not going to be as good.
 

kronreiff

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OP, there are no "perfect" women. Sounds like your only problem with this girl is her face not meeting your expectations. Do you want a girl that will be there for you in all ways or a girl that you can sit and look at with no reciprocation? Only you can answer that.
 

Colossus

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A few pearls:

-If you are truly unsatisfied with her looks (regardless of what others might think of you), then this will NOT improve with time.

-Looks aren't everything. Really. Hot girls are overrated; as noted above they tend to have personality issues (narcissism, histrionic behavior, lack of manners and empathy).

-If you can look at her 7/10 times and say to yourself "that's a fine looking woman right there", then I think you're doing ok. Makeup is a HUGE factor, too. I haven't seen many women in my life who look beautiful with zero makeup. Most are downright terrifying.

-Personally I think as long as her face is average/cute, a fit and youthful body is way more important.

-Reconcile your desire for variety. In all likelihood it will never go away. Mine hasn't, and I'm happily married. But the benefits (in my case) outweigh the sacrifice of the freedom to sleep with new women. It's never "free", either. Even if you don't spend a dime, the time and opportunity cost, not to mention the emotional baggage that comes every time you get involved with a new woman (mostly on her side), isn't worth the momentary thrill of variety.
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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