HELP! Very insecure and uncomfortable with GF being friends with X [Merged threads]

[Lost In Translation]

about checking up on her......

God gave us all the ability to SENSE danger/trouble as a survival mechanism.

from the Movie : Ronin starring Robert De Niro

" when ever there's any doubt there is no doubt "

trust your instincts

you think something is up ? most likely there is.

ok a reality check for our fellow DJ

Bottom line...she knows I'm one of a kind. Up until this point, we'd get into arguments over this guy but i'd come back, apologize, and say I'll try better to deal with it.


one of a kind ? but dude... there's plenty of AFC's out there *cheap shot i know *

you apologizing is a VERY BAD move. YOU ARE RIGHT ! Why apologize ? you are re-enforcing her behaviour.

"I'll try better to deal with it"

does she want fries with that order of AFC ?

However she does say that she has a big heart and she feels that its ok to be friends with someone that you spent alot of time with once

she has a big what ? ******** for BIG WHAT ?

room for how many ?

i like that ******** line actually is a new one for me " i have a big heart so it's ok " priceless !

I can luckily say that she's never even emailed him.

hmm... i don't save my emails into the draft folder or sent items. EVER. so how would you assume i have never sent an email to anyone when i have sent hundreds ?

but then you say this now i am confused !

The only time she spoke with him via email was in the beg. of our relationship and it was maily friendly.

maybe she hasn't seen him since last christmas but it sure seems like she has all the contact lines locked down lol.

what if she deletes the emails he sends her ? is that possible ?

I usually see a txt message or a phone call that she doesn't tell me about .

why is she hiding these from you ? apart from her line " i didn't want you to know because i knew you would get upset "

i thought she was trying to distance herself from this guy ?

ok lets look at her distance technique from ex bf.

EMAIL

TXT MESSAGE ( SMS )

PHONE CALLS

damn she got em all covered lol....

i am not saying be paranoid , just BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

if you see something DON'T GIVE HER THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

make an honest assessment of her ACTIONS and act accordingly.


just remember it's not what a woman says that matters

IT IS WHAT SHE DOES ! her actions tell the story.

only her actions can be trusted as women talk $hit.



Lost In Translation

 

[NRM]

Some of you guys just don't get it and can answer with a simple

"A DJ does this, a DJ doesn't do that."

It isn't that simple.

Let's say a DJ has to play like he doesn't care. I'm sorry, in human nature, we weren't built to not care. If Mufasa caught his lioness checking up on her ex, he'd question where Simba came from and what the fuck is going on. It isn't a matter of insecurity, it is a matter of respect.

DJ's DO have feelings.

Whether you people want to believe it or not, all people do have feelings. He didn't like the current situation, he wasn't comfortable by it, and what does a man do?

A man knows what he wants and knows how to get it.

Really, a man is only in control of his happiness, if it is too much for the woman, she WILL leave. But if a man is in a relationship and isn't happy, he should do something about it, and if she doesn't change, HE should leave. What is the point of being in a relationship where you aren't happy?

I'm sure this guy would have easily given up an ex-flame for his current girlfriend, is it so much to ask the same from her? ESPECIALLY if he didn't like it?

AFC OR NOT, it doesn't matter. At least he was MAN enough to handle the situation to make himself happy. It is not SELFISH, seeing that the reasoning was REASONABLE. If he had a sickness she could cure, but she had to give something up for it to happen, would she?

It would depend on how important that something is and how much this guy is worth to her.

My main point is why should he hide his feelings? He HAS the feelings, he doesn't LIKE the feeling. You can tell him to subdue it, but it will always be burning inside of him. I think he did the most DJ thing anyone could do. He did something about it.

Yes, he could have left her. He could have walked away. But what's the point of walking away if you aren't going to let her know how you REALLY feel and see what she is willing to do for you? Put your foot down, let her know who's boss, if she isn't willing to cope, you leave, it's simple. What a small price to pay to be in a happy relationship or maybe even a happy bachelorship.

Some people were programmed to be naturally ****y and aggressive, some of you through TV were programmed to be a lot more sappy, but no matter what, you have feelings, and how you respond to those feelings are based on that programming.

EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT.

But in the end, this girl fell for him. For his differences. And in the end, she chose him. You people can say what you want about insecurity, but if you think wanting something and being willing to walk away for it is insecure, you've got some self-discovery to go through.

 

[fanatizmu]

girls have many ways of testing us, and i assure you this is one big test she is administering to you. The trick here is to play it cool and keep your calm and act relax about the fact.... come on man, when in doubt always think about what reality you are living in... she is banging you not him, she probably loves you not him anymore, so keep CALM and don't act like you care about the other guy, be seen in the company of other girls and make her jealous!!! let's see if she can keep calm or will she turn in a freak!!!!

good luck don

 

[dietzcoi]

I can't stand it anymore!

Give me one good reason a woman "needs" to stay friends with an ex!

There are none - only bad reasons:

1. Too weak
2. Afraid he'll commit suicide
3. Wants everybody to like her
4. Attention hor

etc, etc

Why do you guys defend this?

I do not want a GF to keep contact with an ex, nor do I want to keep contact with my exes. There is no point ot it!

And yes, UGs as well as HBs have so-called male "friends". Just remember 99% of them are supplicants hoping to get sex from the woman.

There are very few true friends in the world

Dietzcoi

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote - dietzcoi
Just remember 99% of them are supplicants hoping to get sex from the woman.

dietzcoi YOU 100% SPOT ON

why can't you AFC, feminist brainwashed, pu$$y whipped, fake a$$, spinless, kiss a$$, little punks GET IT !!!!

oh wait .... thats because YOU are in that 99% who sniff around b*tches for 3 years as LJBF hoping to catch them in a moment of weakness usually involving alcohol, drugs or both to get sex (rape imho).

up here on the forum acting like AFC GUYS DONT HANG AROUND CHICKS HOPING FOR SEX.....

NOOOOO.....

guilty conscience ?




Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice?

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Gold!

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Lost in Translation is right

What is with you new age touchy feely types who WANT to let your woman be close to other men?

Woman: "But he's my best friend!"

DJ: Listen, attention wh0re, your best friend needs to be a WOMAN!

Woman are playing all you guys with this "male friends" BS. 99% of the time there is something going on and you are being chumped.

But go ahead and let them have thier male "friends". You'll learn sooner or later.

Dietzcoi

I couldn't agree more! Once there was a girl (with BF) that said she used to go to her male friends house to get a "dictionay"!!!

Or did she say d!cktionay???

You guys are so naive sometimes!

 

[bud1971]

As usual,

Lost in Translation has it exactly right. If that little voice inside your head tells you that you don't like something...LISTEN TO IT!

Your instincts are rarely wrong. This chick is an AW in my opinion and you are already in too deep. She is telling you that you are great and all that.....but you aren't great enough to be the only man in her life. You are allowing her to dictate the terms of the relationship with no compromise. If she won't budge on this, what makes you think she will budge on anything else? You will become her *****.

I have been where you are at before and I know you are hesitant to dump her because society tells you that you are a jealous freak. I say, you just have a healthy sense of self-preservation. There is not ONE good reason for her to be "friends" with him. My advice is an ultimatum...him or you.

 

[NewMan]

Mofur fvcking Ditto.....