Help me see where i went wrong here

[UndercoverAFC]

For the past 15 months ive been just been hooking up with girls with very little interest in dating. This year i turn 30 so i figure i better start changing my approach a little and wanted to try dating again.

A bit over a week I met this cute 23 year old chick through friends on my social group during a friends birthday drinks and we hit off and were making out in front she seemed very keen on seeing me again.

We go to a pizza bar shes talking about herself mostly but we got a long really well and she comes back to my place for a bit and we make a bit while watching a tv series. Two days later she messages me thst she going to a bar with some friends and she wants me to come along. I go get a long great woth and her friends and leave she messages me thst i must be having a lonrly night in and i asked if she wanted to come back round and said she wouldve but she just got home.

The next night we organise to go see a movie and go back to hers after and she messages me in the afternoon that she was real keen for the night. Movie goes great shes all over me and at about 11:30pm i ask if she like me to still come back and she says yeah. Get back there and she starts giving me a tour of her new place, but something feels off. We hook up a but and she says dont you want the full tour first. Aftet the tour i grab her by the hand and she randomly says 'im not sure what i want' (never good i know) i said sure ill go if you want ne too and shes like idk start making out again and shes im not sure a guys what i need right now. Im like problem i had no expectations if thats what your worried about shes like i wasnt expecting you to stay i scoff at that and walk out without saying goodbye she weakly says goodbye after me.

A couple of days go by and i hear nothing so i just messaged her asking how was her weekend weak move i know considering and she says yeah weekend was good thanks. What a head****, even after 10 years ill never understand how women operate sometimes. Im guessing too much too soon? or i was to avaiable?

 

[backseatjuan]

You leaving out the most interesting part out. What prevented you from having sex with her the first night? What prevented you from having sex with her the 2nd night?

 

[marmel75]

She realized that you werent man enough to make a move and lead her to sex. She was just disappointed in your lack of masculine energy. No coming back from that one. She basically is like "how many opportunities do I have to give this guy? Ive made it pretty easy on him...and still he won't make a move"

Apparently in her mind one too many.

 

[The Duke]

OP- this woman doesn't know what she wants because of your lack of direction/leadership. She made it easy and you didn't capitalize.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

For the past 15 months ive been just been hooking up with girls with very little interest in dating. This year i turn 30 so i figure i better start changing my approach a little and wanted to try dating again.

This is where you went wrong.

The narrative of equalism, being 30, and stfu plus marry the *****s is sold boot 1st. Date but reframe from the above narrative.

I am watching a buddy **** up under the same premise. Don't do it.

Don't fix what isn't broken.

A bit over a week I met this cute 23 year old chick through friends on my social group during a friends birthday drinks and we hit off and were making out in front she seemed very keen on seeing me again.

We go to a pizza bar shes talking about herself mostly but we got a long really well and she comes back to my place for a bit and we make a bit while watching a tv series. Two days later she messages me thst she going to a bar with some friends and she wants me to come along. I go get a long great woth and her friends and leave she messages me thst i must be having a lonrly night in and i asked if she wanted to come back round and said she wouldve but she just got home.

The next night we organise to go see a movie and go back to hers after and she messages me in the afternoon that she was real keen for the night. Movie goes great shes all over me and at about 11:30pm i ask if she like me to still come back and she says yeah. Get back there and she starts giving me a tour of her new place, but something feels off. We hook up a but and she says dont you want the full tour first. Aftet the tour i grab her by the hand and she randomly says 'im not sure what i want' (never good i know) i said sure ill go if you want ne too and shes like idk start making out again and shes im not sure a guys what i need right now. Im like problem i had no expectations if thats what your worried about shes like i wasnt expecting you to stay i scoff at that and walk out without saying goodbye she weakly says goodbye after me.

Interesting eh? Top form SMV 18-23 and doesn't know what she wants lol

Translation - still optimising hypergamy.


#nextset

A couple of days go by and i hear nothing so i just messaged her asking how was her weekend weak move i know considering and she says yeah weekend was good thanks. What a head****, even after 10 years ill never understand how women operate sometimes. Im guessing too much too soon? or i was to avaiable?

Days go by and you chase?

You got cucked and ljbf and you still are around. A novel about 1 girl.

Do i need to say what you did wrong?


Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday. A new egg is lost in the toilet every month. Her weight is increasing and she's closing in on the wall. In less than 7yrs, she is 30.

Step game up kuz.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

This is where I think you may have started steering in the wrong direction.

It is natural at that age to start thinking a little more about the long term. Societal pressures and expectations of men at that age don’t help either.

But never mind the debate on whether you should succumb to this feeling.

Let’s look at the approach.

If this is something you want, fine. But you do not need to change your approach. If you normally bed women pretty aggressively, you can continue to do so. You just don’t pursue women like that for long term engagements. In other words, continued success in this manner is in itself an elimination point for any woman not worth the LTR.

Second, you do not target 23 year old women who seldom have relationship goals prioritized toward long term yet. When this woman said she doesn’t know if a man is what she needs right now, it wasn’t a statement about sex, but about a relationship, particularly a long term one; a vibe she was most likely getting from you.

The shift in your approach could be the problem.

You can still pursue women in the successful ways you did before pondering a more long term goal. You just dont go long term with those who give up the goods so quickly, that’s all.

Its funny how a guy supposedly is bedding girls suddenly goes chode lol

Either he's delusional or pippin busted girls and on phaggy times when top form SMV is around.

Her SMV is novelty. The pursuit of young is legit but her low interest level suggests he back turns on her, disregards and suggestd she intro him to her younger hotter friends WHEN SHE HITS HIM UP.

Op dun goofed. BEING AT HER BECK AND CALL DRYS UP THE *****. Lack of options, ****ty game, and little to no interest on her part.

Dude would have been better off taking his D out and striking out the first step rather than being her gay little movie buddy.

 

[flowtheory]

When she said she didn’t know what she wanted, that’s when you shoulda showed her what she wanted.
She tested to see what you wanted. You walked away, took her words too serious. She probably felt confused because you weren’t all over her, like most guys.

Actions over words, OP. She took you to her house to give you a tour...
This ones lost. Keep this in mind for next time.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

You leaving out the most interesting part out. What prevented you from having sex with her the first night? What prevented you from having sex with her the 2nd night?

The first night i did push the envelope a little pulling in her close making out i asked if she cool having sex while just getting to know someone and she said she prefers to wait to get to know someone first. Again not something i normally do but as i said at the top i thought i might have to change my approach.

The 2nd date was she had to drop her friends at ghe train station. She messaged me having a lonely night in are we . I was like oh yeah saaahh lonely your welcome to come round if you like.

Im 6'3 235lbs, shes only a tiny girl. I felt like physically difference was huge and it made me feel less aggressive in my approach as well. We were pretty isolated out there. perhaps she wanted me to make the move

 

[UndercoverAFC]

This is where I think you may have started steering in the wrong direction.

It is natural at that age to start thinking a little more about the long term. Societal pressures and expectations of men at that age don’t help either.

But never mind the debate on whether you should succumb to this feeling.

Let’s look at the approach.

If this is something you want, fine. But you do not need to change your approach. If you normally bed women pretty aggressively, you can continue to do so. You just don’t pursue women like that for long term engagements. In other words, continued success in this manner is in itself an elimination point for any woman not worth the LTR.

Second, you do not target 23 year old women who seldom have relationship goals prioritized toward long term yet. When this woman said she doesn’t know if a man is what she needs right now, it wasn’t a statement about sex, but about a relationship, particularly a long term one; a vibe she was most likely getting from you.

The shift in your approach could be the problem.

You can still pursue women in the successful ways you did before pondering a more long term goal. You just dont go long term with those who give up the goods so quickly, that’s all.

Gold, so maybe i dont need to change anything. I always thought the 'im not sure what i want' was a classic low interest phrase so i was always think be a man and walk away

 

[UndercoverAFC]

The replies speak volumes, every other time within 30 minutes i have them in the bedroom but this time i changed my approach.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

It is not a low interest phrase.

It is something a woman says when she doesn’t want to be pressured into defining a relationship.

I didnt see it that way, i thought it was a weird to say when i was trying to make a move on her. But the phrase im not sure a guy is what i need right now completely agrees with what you were saying

 

[UndercoverAFC]

It’s the same conversation. It’s just packaged with different words.

At that point she could have already presumed the LTR vibe from you. Women who don’t want or don’t know if they want that are less likely to sleep with a man who they presume does. It will often lead to men behaving in ways with them that they don’t want, because it will often force a woman into a position where she either has to play along and be nice when she doesn’t feel the same thing, or, be a b*tch and break your heart.

At any rate, your actions either way exposed this woman as not being LTR ready, or interested in that with you in particular.

It’s not really a loss.

It was just a missed opportunity.

Had you stuck with what always worked, it could have either played out differently or you would have just moved on to other women and thus avoided this situation entirely.

Spot on well ive had plenty of hot girls before but this one hurt for some reason, maybe its a loss of youth or a hint of desperation with society pressures i mean will i still want to be hitting on chick in nightclubs well into my thirties? I never normally give a **** cause 99% of the time ive already ****ed them which is i used to want so im doing myself a big disservice frame and mental wise with the change.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

I forgot to mention that after picking up she while she was showing me the house she said she wasnt expecting me to stay over so soon and shes not sure and that kinda confused the situation more.

Im going out tomorrow to get my mind off and go back to doing what i do normally

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

The first night i did push the envelope a little pulling in her close making out i asked if she cool having sex while just getting to know someone and she said she prefers to wait to get to know someone first. Again not something i normally do but as i said at the top i thought i might have to change my approach.

The 2nd date was she had to drop her friends at ghe train station. She messaged me having a lonely night in are we . I was like oh yeah saaahh lonely your welcome to come round if you like.

Im 6'3 235lbs, shes only a tiny girl. I felt like physically difference was huge and it made me feel less aggressive in my approach as well. We were pretty isolated out there. perhaps she wanted me to make the move

Lmfao @ asking lulz

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I forgot to mention that after picking up she while she was showing me the house she said she wasnt expecting me to stay over so soon and shes not sure and that kinda confused the situation more.

Im going out tomorrow to get my mind off and go back to doing what i do normally

You remember the legendary magician Houdini? Begin your disappearing act.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

Lmfao @ asking lulz

Fair call i cringe a bit thinking about it butI was trying to go about things differently which is something thats a bit foriegn to me when i shouldnt have been so stuck on the long term with a chick i barely knew

You remember the legendary magician Houdini? Begin your disappearing act.

Will do, might ask if she got any single mates if i hear from her again

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Fair call i cringe a bit thinking about it butI was trying to go about things differently which is something thats a bit foriegn to me when i shouldnt have been so stuck on the long term with a chick i barely knew



Will do, might ask if she got any single mates if i hear from her again

LJBFs should be welcomed assuming ^^^
She introduced me to her hawt, young friends. Otherwise, she's dead to me.

A bus could hit her & & & zero fucjs given.

Too busy hitting on barely legal chicks to attend funeral.

Top form SMV 18-23 is the bullseye but, not exclusivity is ambiguous for her. Its absolutely fine to optimise her hypergamy and then seek out cuck to play house once best yrs are over.

Lose her #. She can hit you up but, you know what she is. Move on. In a few yrs, the crash will come. Good riddance.