so, i met this girl in new york on new year's. got her contact info, and we were talking by email for a bit before we met up. i was getting along with her really well and we had a good time on the first date when we went out for drinks. i got busy with work and she went on a trip for a week, and then we fell out of touch for about a month. she hits me up out of the blue and then we go out again. same story, we have a good time, good conversation, whatever. i'd like to see her again, but i'm going to be out of town for a couple of weeks and it's difficult enough to manage my own time as it is. any interpretations of why she hit me up after a month of no talk and where i go from here? thanks guys.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
help me interpret this situation
- Thread starter fobsrus
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You went on two dates and didn't get physical? With the little info you've given it's hard to say if you've completely blown it but from the looks of it she likes your attention. When do you leave? If it's within the next week you should set another date and make an emphasis on GETTING PHYSICAL. Without anything physical you are just a friend that gives her attention. I doubt that's what you want to be.fobsrus said:so, i met this girl in new york on new year's. got her contact info, and we were talking by email for a bit before we met up. i was getting along with her really well and we had a good time on the first date when we went out for drinks. i got busy with work and she went on a trip for a week, and then we fell out of touch for about a month. she hits me up out of the blue and then we go out again. same story, we have a good time, good conversation, whatever. i'd like to see her again, but i'm going to be out of town for a couple of weeks and it's difficult enough to manage my own time as it is. any interpretations of why she hit me up after a month of no talk and where i go from here? thanks guys.
Girls appreciate a guy that has a lot going on. That's why she contacted you out of the blue. But don't see this as an IOI. She could just be seeing if you are clinging on to any option you have (her).
unfortunately, i leave in two days. probably not enough time to set up another date, but i can try.
so i'm trying to remember what happened the first time we went out - we went out for drinks and she was kind of in a rush to get home so we went our separate ways more quickly than i had hoped. the second time was drinks again and she had to be somewhere shortly afterwards so the departure was again quick. in both cases, i didn't have a great opportunity to get physical, but that's still on me. we text back and forth casually, but i do like this girl and i don't want to get friend zoned so i already know i need to escalate quickly before it's too late. i'm just wondering if more time off will set things back again.
so i'm trying to remember what happened the first time we went out - we went out for drinks and she was kind of in a rush to get home so we went our separate ways more quickly than i had hoped. the second time was drinks again and she had to be somewhere shortly afterwards so the departure was again quick. in both cases, i didn't have a great opportunity to get physical, but that's still on me. we text back and forth casually, but i do like this girl and i don't want to get friend zoned so i already know i need to escalate quickly before it's too late. i'm just wondering if more time off will set things back again.
I find it funny that she doesn't flake, but during the date she's in a rush? Try and set up another date... but I suggest not doing drinks again.
Also, if you want to, try and meeting more women and setting up dates with them (easier said than done), but this is a surefire way to not get hung up on her, and will also keep you out of the friendzone.
Also, if you want to, try and meeting more women and setting up dates with them (easier said than done), but this is a surefire way to not get hung up on her, and will also keep you out of the friendzone.
one thing i've noticed about myself is that i let myself get hung up on girls within the first three dates. either they put out (with sex or something close to it) or nothing happens (sometimes when i try to escalate), and then i'm completely over them and focus on my other priorities. not that i mind this happening, but girls usually completely hate me for falling off the map and i haven't had a relationship that has lasted more than a few weeks in a long time.
with this girl...the only thing i can say about her is that she either wants to take things really slow or she has no idea how to date. but from what she has told me so far, she does seem to want a serious relationship (whatever the f that is).
with this girl...the only thing i can say about her is that she either wants to take things really slow or she has no idea how to date. but from what she has told me so far, she does seem to want a serious relationship (whatever the f that is).
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
GotED?
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2012
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You are quite an INSECURE kind of guy.
You need so many people to CONVINCE you what is obvious, that a woman contacting you FIRST would not be interested in you?
You need some inner focus on who you are as a man and gain some self-esteem and self-love.
Be well.
Exodus
You need so many people to CONVINCE you what is obvious, that a woman contacting you FIRST would not be interested in you?
You need some inner focus on who you are as a man and gain some self-esteem and self-love.
Be well.
Exodus