so, i met this girl in new york on new year's. got her contact info, and we were talking by email for a bit before we met up. i was getting along with her really well and we had a good time on the first date when we went out for drinks. i got busy with work and she went on a trip for a week, and then we fell out of touch for about a month. she hits me up out of the blue and then we go out again. same story, we have a good time, good conversation, whatever. i'd like to see her again, but i'm going to be out of town for a couple of weeks and it's difficult enough to manage my own time as it is. any interpretations of why she hit me up after a month of no talk and where i go from here? thanks guys.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
help me interpret this situation
- Thread starter fobsrus
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You went on two dates and didn't get physical? With the little info you've given it's hard to say if you've completely blown it but from the looks of it she likes your attention. When do you leave? If it's within the next week you should set another date and make an emphasis on GETTING PHYSICAL. Without anything physical you are just a friend that gives her attention. I doubt that's what you want to be.fobsrus said:so, i met this girl in new york on new year's. got her contact info, and we were talking by email for a bit before we met up. i was getting along with her really well and we had a good time on the first date when we went out for drinks. i got busy with work and she went on a trip for a week, and then we fell out of touch for about a month. she hits me up out of the blue and then we go out again. same story, we have a good time, good conversation, whatever. i'd like to see her again, but i'm going to be out of town for a couple of weeks and it's difficult enough to manage my own time as it is. any interpretations of why she hit me up after a month of no talk and where i go from here? thanks guys.
Girls appreciate a guy that has a lot going on. That's why she contacted you out of the blue. But don't see this as an IOI. She could just be seeing if you are clinging on to any option you have (her).
unfortunately, i leave in two days. probably not enough time to set up another date, but i can try.
so i'm trying to remember what happened the first time we went out - we went out for drinks and she was kind of in a rush to get home so we went our separate ways more quickly than i had hoped. the second time was drinks again and she had to be somewhere shortly afterwards so the departure was again quick. in both cases, i didn't have a great opportunity to get physical, but that's still on me. we text back and forth casually, but i do like this girl and i don't want to get friend zoned so i already know i need to escalate quickly before it's too late. i'm just wondering if more time off will set things back again.
so i'm trying to remember what happened the first time we went out - we went out for drinks and she was kind of in a rush to get home so we went our separate ways more quickly than i had hoped. the second time was drinks again and she had to be somewhere shortly afterwards so the departure was again quick. in both cases, i didn't have a great opportunity to get physical, but that's still on me. we text back and forth casually, but i do like this girl and i don't want to get friend zoned so i already know i need to escalate quickly before it's too late. i'm just wondering if more time off will set things back again.
I find it funny that she doesn't flake, but during the date she's in a rush? Try and set up another date... but I suggest not doing drinks again.
Also, if you want to, try and meeting more women and setting up dates with them (easier said than done), but this is a surefire way to not get hung up on her, and will also keep you out of the friendzone.
Also, if you want to, try and meeting more women and setting up dates with them (easier said than done), but this is a surefire way to not get hung up on her, and will also keep you out of the friendzone.
one thing i've noticed about myself is that i let myself get hung up on girls within the first three dates. either they put out (with sex or something close to it) or nothing happens (sometimes when i try to escalate), and then i'm completely over them and focus on my other priorities. not that i mind this happening, but girls usually completely hate me for falling off the map and i haven't had a relationship that has lasted more than a few weeks in a long time.
with this girl...the only thing i can say about her is that she either wants to take things really slow or she has no idea how to date. but from what she has told me so far, she does seem to want a serious relationship (whatever the f that is).
with this girl...the only thing i can say about her is that she either wants to take things really slow or she has no idea how to date. but from what she has told me so far, she does seem to want a serious relationship (whatever the f that is).
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
GotED?
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2012
- Messages
- 819
- Reaction score
- 99
You are quite an INSECURE kind of guy.
You need so many people to CONVINCE you what is obvious, that a woman contacting you FIRST would not be interested in you?
You need some inner focus on who you are as a man and gain some self-esteem and self-love.
Be well.
Exodus
You need so many people to CONVINCE you what is obvious, that a woman contacting you FIRST would not be interested in you?
You need some inner focus on who you are as a man and gain some self-esteem and self-love.
Be well.
Exodus