"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

help me get a date w this online girl

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
i've been messaging this online girl about 3-4 times over the past few days. the last message i said: 'you wanna go out for coffee sometime?'

she responds:

Coffee? You live <an hour away>. I go there sometimes. Maybe next time I am in the area we can meet up or something and hang out as friends. I just went out with someone I met on here yesterday. He was nice but no chemistry. I'm not sure if I am up for it right away.
so, sort of an ambivalent response. what's the best way to respond to this message?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

JC9

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2006
Messages
144
Reaction score
1
poohead said:
i've been messaging this online girl about 3-4 times over the past few days. the last message i said: 'you wanna go out for coffee sometime?'

she responds:



so, sort of an ambivalent response. what's the best way to respond to this message?
That is not an ambivalent response, it's a rejection and should be treated as such. Move to the next one.

Re-read her response. She disses the idea, complains about the distance, tosses out 'maybe as friends', then say's she just isn't ready to meet anyone just yet.

Hell, the girl ran the whole circuit on that rejection, everything but the kitchen sink.

When have you ever known a girl not to be giddy about meeting a guy she is into? She would drive 4 hours to meet you, for a cup of coffee at 2 am in a truckstop if her IL was high enough.
 

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
well i disagree. i don't get the vibe that she doesn't like me from our emails. and i've only emailed her 3 -4 times. i believe there's a way to work it and get a date out of this.
 

flexion_

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2003
Messages
1,617
Reaction score
10
Age
56
I'm not sure what vibe you can get from an e-mail but good luck. She rejected you as simply and politely as possible.
 

CompleteControl

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
59
Reaction score
3
poohead said:
i've been messaging this online girl about 3-4 times over the past few days. the last message i said: 'you wanna go out for coffee sometime?'

she responds:



so, sort of an ambivalent response. what's the best way to respond to this message?
That email doesn't bode well. But I would respond:

That's cool. I guess it is more convenient to meet up with people who are physically close that you don't feel attracted to than to take a chance on meeting someone a little further away that you may be able to experience a powerful connection and real chemistry with.

I suggested coffee because I don't know you well enough yet to decide if I would want to be more than friends with you.

Bye:)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
well, i pretty much assumed jc9 was right and i was a goner.

so i had already written her back with 'whatever, babe. your loss.'
 

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
me:
well whatever then. your loss. i'm not going to ask you to hang out twice.
her:
You live almost 2 hours away. I'm not just going to drop everything to hang out with you.
this wasn't a rejection jc9.

i can probably work this.
 

I'm Joe Dirt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2005
Messages
667
Reaction score
4
Location
Chicago, IL
She would drive 4 hours to meet you, for a cup of coffee at 2 am in a truckstop if her IL was high enough.
There's gotta be a story behind that! :D

But yeah, it is true. If a girl's IL is high enough she will ditch any plans to be with you. My current gf is very much into her studies and stresses out a lot over school and such but she regularly ditches her study groups to drive 45 mins to my house to do a different kind of studying ;)
 
Top