"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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help me get a date w this online girl

poohead

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i've been messaging this online girl about 3-4 times over the past few days. the last message i said: 'you wanna go out for coffee sometime?'

she responds:

Coffee? You live <an hour away>. I go there sometimes. Maybe next time I am in the area we can meet up or something and hang out as friends. I just went out with someone I met on here yesterday. He was nice but no chemistry. I'm not sure if I am up for it right away.
so, sort of an ambivalent response. what's the best way to respond to this message?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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JC9

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poohead said:
i've been messaging this online girl about 3-4 times over the past few days. the last message i said: 'you wanna go out for coffee sometime?'

she responds:



so, sort of an ambivalent response. what's the best way to respond to this message?
That is not an ambivalent response, it's a rejection and should be treated as such. Move to the next one.

Re-read her response. She disses the idea, complains about the distance, tosses out 'maybe as friends', then say's she just isn't ready to meet anyone just yet.

Hell, the girl ran the whole circuit on that rejection, everything but the kitchen sink.

When have you ever known a girl not to be giddy about meeting a guy she is into? She would drive 4 hours to meet you, for a cup of coffee at 2 am in a truckstop if her IL was high enough.
 

poohead

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well i disagree. i don't get the vibe that she doesn't like me from our emails. and i've only emailed her 3 -4 times. i believe there's a way to work it and get a date out of this.
 

flexion_

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I'm not sure what vibe you can get from an e-mail but good luck. She rejected you as simply and politely as possible.
 

CompleteControl

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poohead said:
i've been messaging this online girl about 3-4 times over the past few days. the last message i said: 'you wanna go out for coffee sometime?'

she responds:



so, sort of an ambivalent response. what's the best way to respond to this message?
That email doesn't bode well. But I would respond:

That's cool. I guess it is more convenient to meet up with people who are physically close that you don't feel attracted to than to take a chance on meeting someone a little further away that you may be able to experience a powerful connection and real chemistry with.

I suggested coffee because I don't know you well enough yet to decide if I would want to be more than friends with you.

Bye:)
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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poohead

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well, i pretty much assumed jc9 was right and i was a goner.

so i had already written her back with 'whatever, babe. your loss.'
 

poohead

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me:
well whatever then. your loss. i'm not going to ask you to hang out twice.
her:
You live almost 2 hours away. I'm not just going to drop everything to hang out with you.
this wasn't a rejection jc9.

i can probably work this.
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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She would drive 4 hours to meet you, for a cup of coffee at 2 am in a truckstop if her IL was high enough.
There's gotta be a story behind that! :D

But yeah, it is true. If a girl's IL is high enough she will ditch any plans to be with you. My current gf is very much into her studies and stresses out a lot over school and such but she regularly ditches her study groups to drive 45 mins to my house to do a different kind of studying ;)
 
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