"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Help me figure out this girl and how I should proceed. Kinda stuck!

JohnnyBravo85

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Kind of stuck in this weird situation with this one girl… So please guys help me out to make sense of her behavior!

I know this girl from collage she always smiles at me, but to be fair she does that with everyone. However, what is different with me is that she regularly invades my “personal space” (she gets really close) and also often touches me…

And when I smile at her she often looks away to the side, starts facing the floor and smiling.

So one day I figured what the heck an asked her whether she wants to hang on the Saturday, She immediately started smiling and said sure, let’s hang.

On the Saturday I send her text asking when she wanted to hang… She send me a text back (15 minutes later) that she partied all night and was just planning to chill on her couch all day. I sent her a text back just saying: OK, see you on Monday in class.

About a week later we and some fellow students went partying, heavy drinking involved.

At the end of the evening I asked her whether she wanted to join me for some after party at my place to smoke some dope together, which she said yes to.

We ended up at my place smoked some weed and she basically told me everything about herself, like her rough childhood and trouble with her parents in her younger years…

That was probably the time and place my feelings went from I just want to **** her, too I’m in love with her…

Nothing happened, on my part this was due to the fact that I was too ****ed up on her part I dunno…

About a week later I again sent her a text whether she wanted to hang out that evening again and smoke some…

She didn’t answer this text for 24 hours than called me…

Asking me whether she could come over to my place, which I said yes too.

After 30 minutes she called me again telling me that she would be late due to her having to get back to her apartment again… I just told her that that’s alright, I didn’t ask for a reason… After two hours she still hadn’t arrived at my place so I tried to call her, but she didn’t answer the phone.

Since then she has been ditching class (only one day + the current weekend to be fair) and I haven’t seen her since then or tried to initiate contact…

Here are my issues with the situation:

1. I’m unsure whether she is attracted, just playing games or just being nice…

2. She essentially flaked twice on me. How should I handle the second flake when we see each other again? Should I confront her or just play it cool?

3. How should I proceed should I ask her out again or wait for her to do so?

General wisdom and advice is also appreciated!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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CMNILS87

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She's flaked twice, told you red flags about possible abuse or bad relations With parents. Honestly can you really even trust her, you don't even know her. Turn your head and emotions off and just live it day to day guy.
 

Fugitive

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Some girls can be flakey even when they like someone! But my feeling is this chick has some background sh*t going on. You should play it cool - don't give her 21 questions or lots of calls/texts about why she didn't turn up. Just act like you didn't even notice. In her own time she will make contact with you and might apologise but you should proceed with caution as she sounds like she has issues! Also don't ask her out again for a while. No point making plans with a flake.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Ratiocinative

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She blew you off and disrespected you. If you let her walk all over you then she'll lose whatever attraction she has for you. Unless she is coming over to apologize you should ignore her and basically pretend she doesn't exist. If she does apologize then she needs to make it up to you, but odds are that won't happen and you need to keep meeting new women.
 

hockeyfreak79

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She's flaked because you reek of desperation!
They take 1 step back you take 2.
 

JohnnyBravo85

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Thank you guys!

In case she starts apologizing when I see her the next time... What should I say? How should I act?
 

blind_one

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At the end of the evening I asked her whether she wanted to join me for some after party at my place to smoke some dope together, which she said yes to.
This should have been major for you right then and there. Next time escalate and seal the deal.

Thank you guys!

In case she starts apologizing when I see her the next time... What should I say? How should I act?
Act indifferent, say ''It's cool'' and do nothing. She might be flaking because you failed to fvck her when she wanted it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Tictac

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