"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Help me close the deal on this

sustainable007

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Ok guys, a female friend of mine has made an effort to let me know that one of her friends is available...(See Below)...Id love to take her friend out...What do i need to do to close the deal...I just got this email today...I saw my friend and (Stephanie) walking out after I got the email...My friend asked me if i got her email and I told her I hadn't checked it yet (because i didnt wanna show desperation)...I then saw Stephanie when i was heading to work..She said hi to me...So the question is how do i respond to this email...All ideas are greatly appreciated..


(My name)

It was nice running in to you in the library.
Here is a power point of your case.
By the way, if you're interested, my friend Stephanie is single.

Talk to you later.

(My friends name)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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adler321

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ASK her friend to a ...insert here... (coffee, movie, action date).
GO FOR IT, MAN! Don't sit here asking us for permission, lol.

You got half the work done for you by your female friend.

Show that you are the MAN. "Hold your head up high", cause this girl will discuss every detail with your female friend.
Don't lose the face ;-) If opportunity presents itself, go for a kiss the first date to find out her interest level.
Oh, and please have fun and put yourself first, and your date last.

That's all. Follow directions, do not set goals. If it doesn't work, blow her off, don't lose the initiative. Your friends will only respect you it, believe me. Don't be a wuss.

Out.
 

cave dweller

Master Don Juan
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club?--no

007,

Hell, your in like 'flint'.
Ask her out.
Suggest something different:

ie.

Not a club, movie, dancing, or for dinner.

NO!

Try someting different.

ie.

Rock climbing
Bird watching
The auto show
The museum
The pet store at the mall
A historic maker or house
4 wheeling

You get my drift?

cave dweller
 

sustainable007

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Thx guys

I just emailed her back....First i thanked my friend for helping me professionally...Next I told her to tell stephanie that it was nice meeting her and that she should email me with her phone number so that we can go out....then i ended it with a "Your Friend"...

Ill keep you guys posted on further developments...
 

adler321

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Good, except one little tiny error... I would not tell her why I want her phone number, keep it a mistery. (although she probably knows why ;-)) Anyway, what's done, is done.
When you get the email/number, don't write/phone her that same day. Wait a few days, keep her guessing, build up your value. Otherwise, follow the date ideas listed above and HAVE FUN. Repeat, have fun, have fun, have... lol
Good luck dude!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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sustainable007

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I told her why i wanted her number because i figured that i might as well lay the cards on the table figuring that my friend would not have told me that stephanie was single unless stephanie had told my friend to tell me that....I hate email...LOL...
 

sustainable007

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Her Reply

Hey guys, Here is the email reply i got:

Hello,

It was great meeting you the other day, if you want to call me sometime, here is my number. xxx.xxx.xxxx Have a good weekend

~Stephanie

What do you guys think of this??? How long should I wait before i call...Im thinking about calling her monday nite...
 

Slickster

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A little bit childish way to go about things.

Uh my friend likes you and she's single.

Oh ok then tell your friend to email me blah blah. :rolleyes:

Anyhow you got the number but next time just put your balls on the line and ask for it in person. You don't wanna look like a pvssy who has to get her friend to be the middle person.

You've got a green light buddy. Call whenever you want.
 

TooColdUlrick

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Re: Her Reply

Originally posted by sustainable007
Hey guys, Here is the email reply i got:

Hello,

It was great meeting you the other day, if you want to call me sometime, here is my number. xxx.xxx.xxxx Have a good weekend

~Stephanie

What do you guys think of this??? How long should I wait before i call...Im thinking about calling her monday nite...
you're thinking about this waaaaay too much. right now, she's just a warm lead. nothing more.

don't play any games--those phone rules are stupid and everyone knows it, playing them make you look weak. wait one day, call her up, chit chat for about 15 minutes, be cool and decisive, set up a fun action "date", no dinner and a movie crap, that's for people who are actually dating, which you two are not. get the "date" mentality out of your mind.

take her to chuck-e-cheese, have some beer and pizza, play some games, kick her ass in skeeball, torment some kids. you have no idea if she's a mega ***** or a cool chick, right? so just have fun, no pressure, no expectations. don't even kiss her. i never kiss on the first date. but definitely touch and tease her if you feel the vibe.
 

TooColdUlrick

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Originally posted by adler321
Good, except one little tiny error... I would not tell her why I want her phone number, keep it a mistery. (although she probably knows why ;-)) Anyway, what's done, is done.
When you get the email/number, don't write/phone her that same day. Wait a few days, keep her guessing, build up your value. Otherwise, follow the date ideas listed above and HAVE FUN. Repeat, have fun, have fun, have... lol
Good luck dude!
this "building up your value" and "mystery" and "keep her guessing" stuff doesn't work this early in the game. you can only build those things if she knows "something" about you.

a chick can't be intrigued by someone she's never talked to, nor seen. right now, he's just an anonymous guy. if she's a half way decent chick, she couldn't care less about some dude she's never met.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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