"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Help me avoid a case of one-itis

Alphathree

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To all of you saying "call if you want":

NO. What makes me closer to a PUA than an AFC is that I am able to generate attraction partially based on scarcity.

It would be dumb of me to remove that element (which is critical) this early in the game with a girl that I AM interested in.

I COULD next her, but it's not something I want to do.

We were out on Monday night. I think I'm going to call her Thursday to see if she wants to go out on Friday, unless she contacts me before then.

I think that's a fair compromise between the "wait until SUNDAY!" folks and the "call now!" folks. =)

It's also about the maximum amount of time I can bear, even doing other things.

(Hey man, if you met this girl, you'd understand <-- yes I understand this operates from a principle of scarcity)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DJHoolahoop

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sounds to me that all you need then is just the strength to live out what style you're trying to promote. If you know what to do, do it. Simple as that.

If you're trying to create an element of scarcity to show you have a life, then be sure you keep her interest in another way. I'm not saying that one keeps their interest by being around, but I'm saying that deciding the amount of time to wait is really playing it as a game.

That's your choice to live it and chances are it works fine. I guess I'm wondering if it really makes a difference which way you go at it. I've been both scarce and real about my availability. If I have time, I phone or write an e-mail. If I don't, then she has to wait until I do have time. That's how I play it and when I think about phoning in X amount of days, it usually messes it up for me.

That's my way, doesn't mean it's right for you. In any event man, if you're view is set on doing things a certain way then why post this if you know what to do?
 

Alphathree

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Originally posted by DJHoolahoop
In any event man, if you're view is set on doing things a certain way then why post this if you know what to do?
Always room to grow. I appreciate your input, and you're probably right.

I'm still going to wait until tomorrow. It's only at this early stage in the game that I'd be so cautious.

If/when we grow closer, it's easier to be straightforward about spending time together.
 

Charlie_aus

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I have read this thread and am kinda in the same boat.

The chick I am seeing and I are a little further down the line and have fvcked a few times, and I think we should be getting past the games....but I guess I have been a bit AFCish and called a bit too much.

Its been 3 days now since I called and the urge to resist the temptation to call is DAMN hard.

Dwelling on her is the WORST thing I know I can do because it simply feeds the feelings making them that much stronger, and I know what you mean by wanting to chop your right arm off.

All I can say is whatever you choose to do - good luck man.

-C
 

Bible_Belt

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When you see how many fish are in the sea, you're only going to want the ones that are interested in you.

This is excellent general advice.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Alphathree

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Bwahahaha I emailed her this morning and she still hasn't responded.

Granted, the last time I emailed her it took her three freakin' days, but that's because she was out of town.

At any rate, if she doesn't respond, I've gotta NEXT her. (small SNIFF SNIFF for this one)

Hopefully she's just busy.

If not, this will be one of those annoying mysteries.
 
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