Help! I'm paranoid and care way too much about what others are thinking about me!

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by Viper
You know online tests prove nothing right?

Good job keeping your cool.

 

[Flabbergasped?]

Stop bumping viper threads!

Whoops...

 

[Viper]

Alright, well another week of school , but this week is different, why? This is the day I start my journey from a whiny loser, to a Don Juan. I've gone over a lot of the advice and I'm definitely trying a lot of it when I get in the field. Also, I've gotten hold of a couple of D. Deangelo's Audiobooks and have transferred them to my iPod, so whenever I need inspiration, I just click the audio book on my iPod and there it is.

 

[KaminoSS]

Viper if you get your sh1t together, you will be a HERO to every AFC on this board. Dont give up, for the rest of us.

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by KaminoSS
Viper if you get your sh1t together, you will be a HERO to every AFC on this board. Dont give up, for the rest of us.

Thanks for the support dude, but it just seems that nothings changing, even though I have a better attitude about myself, things pretty much seem like they've always been, but I'm going to change that, tommorow, I'm going to approach a random girl. But before I do that, my voice is silly as f*ck, heh, we had this movie project in class were we had to film and when my part came up, I heard how silly I sound when people hear me, my words were all slurred, the voice tone was goofy and now I understand how silly my voice sounds when I talk to other people. Before I saw myself on film, I always thought that people had heard my voice, like I heard my own voice, but yeah, heh, now I can see why people have always been calling my voice silly for all these years and if I'm going to be a Don Juan, I'm going to have to change that. I read Senor Fingers page on this, but I'm still a little confused on the whole diaphragm thing.

 

[Reborn Don Juan]

Try not to expect astounding results immediately.

It's a long-term process, change is, aye.



When I decided to get my shit together and actually risk making a complete idiot out of myself by employing the ideologies and techniques discussed in this forum, I thought I'd get laid, like, yesterday. Didn't happen, of course.

Don't give up, though.

 

[Viper]

Thanks again for the support dude, but I want to know something, how do you heal chapped lips? I have chapped lips and girls obviously don't want to make out with a guy who has chapped lips, putting girls aside, I just want to know.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Originally posted by Viper
Thanks again for the support dude, but I want to know something, how do you heal chapped lips? I have chapped lips and girls obviously don't want to make out with a guy who has chapped lips, putting girls aside, I just want to know.

Chapstick...various types of lip balm

 

[Quagmire911]

-

Alot of people use vaseline for that kind of thing, you can get different types, such as just normal vaseline or, vaseline with aloevera, later

Quagmire

 

[Taviii]

Originally posted by Viper
Thanks again for the support dude, but I want to know something, how do you heal chapped lips? I have chapped lips and girls obviously don't want to make out with a guy who has chapped lips, putting girls aside, I just want to know.

Well working on your looks is a good thing but dont use your appearence as an excuse for not getting girls.

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by Taviii
Well working on your looks is a good thing but dont use your appearence as an excuse for not getting girls.

Haha, you think my appearence was bad now, heh, you should of seen me at the beggining of 9th Grade, I dressed like a bum, only took showers for a week, always smelled, even though I wore deoderent daily, lucky these dudes inspired me to change that. But then as time went on, the dude that changed me, really started to p*ss me off, because he started talking sh*t and stuff, luckily he moved earlier this year. I've got some vaseline laying around and I'll definitely try using it on my lips tommorow. Also, I read something in the DJ Bible about chicks already having their thoughts about you, set, even before you approach her and I've had some pretty bad first impressions in the past and I was wondering, if a chick has a bad(Even if it is totally bogus), impression of you, how do you make her feel more comfortable? Thanks. I know it says not to write down your problems, but this is something I need to know.

 

[KaminoSS]

confidence, good attitude and a smile.

 

[Viper]

So you're saying all it takes to get a girl who's had a previously bad impression of me, to feel comfortable with me is confidence and a smile? I'm having a hard time believing that.

 

[rowing_mike]

Try it, what do you lose? Confidence and a smile has made girls who used to hate me go out of thair way to see me every morning, and I havent even tried to (or wanted to) go near them.

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by rowing_mike
Try it, what do you lose? Confidence and a smile has made girls who used to hate me go out of thair way to see me every morning, and I havent even tried to (or wanted to) go near them.

Nothing, but I don't have anything to gain either, I'm afraid that if I go up to a girl who has a bad impression of me(And who can blame me, I use to be a real weirdo), that lowers my chances of getting her. The fact that my gaming skills aren't too good either, doesn't help that, a typical approach for me doesn't get much further than this:

Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good, how about you?
Me: It's going pretty good.
Me: So, what's your name?
Girl: <Name>

After that it usually doesn't get much further, because I just can't think of anything else to say.

 

[Kpocalypse]

Viper, next time you approach a girl, notice her mood. If she's smiling and comes across as happy, comment on that,.ex:

Walk up to her, slowly and with confidence, then open like this:
(A quick tip, don't ever walk up to a girl directly from the front and position yourself inches away her face (don't do it from behind either, duh!). That will only create discomfort. Mystery has talked about this in one of David Deangelo’s videos, which btw you ought to check out.

Convo:
"Hey, you seem to be in a good mood bla bla bla"
Her: "yeah, I just did bla bla bla bla"
you: comment on what she did. Use C&F if possible. Go on from there.
When you talk to her, do it with confidence, let your voice be heard (literally).

Another convo example:
Scene: Library, classroom, cafeteria whatever. She's just finished studying or she's taking a pause.

You: "you look....like you've just studied...I mean really studied."
Her: "Is that so?"
You: "oh yeah...you've got that look"
Her: "look?"
You: "like you'll do something bad if you see another book... no wonder nobody comes around here (in a joking way)
Her: (maybe smiling, laughing, whatever) "bla bla bla"
You: comment on the bla bla bla.


See my point? Look at her when you approach and you'll most likely find something to open with. This way, you’ll get away from the boring chit chat **** (“what’s up”. nothing. “How are you?” fine. “What’s your name?” You’re ****ing boring Smith.

Good luck Viper.

 

[Credos]

Whats the subject again? :crackup:

anyway, being parranoid is just a fase, just test with it... If you wanna lose it, you have to try looking in peoples eyes, start daring to say more things, but try doing it step by step.

By the way, you're not paranoid kid, you just had a fear, but by not putting it aside it just grew, now its time for you to grow up, no matter the cost try to conquer it,

a way of trying might be this one:

- if somebody is listening to me, then if i think something stupid people would laugh-> nobody laughs... hell nobody hears is
- try to look youre teacher or something in the eyes
- try to talk more in conversations with friends
- talk more in general
- etc
good luck

 

[B-Lemond]

Originally posted by Mr. Fingers
WHOSE WORLD IS THIS?

I used to worry endlessly what people thought of me. If I felt someone didn't like me or approve of my actions, it would eat me up inside and I would go out of my way to please them and prove how cool I was. What a waste! I could have written 100 songs or built 20 houses with the time and energy I wasted trying to please others. Let me put it this way. One of the most powerful tools you have as a human being is your attention. Focus it on others and watch how their every move takes on heightened importance. Focus it on what you DO and watch your own life take on a new meaning. It's all how you look at things. When you encounter a new person, are you entering Their World, or are they entering Your World? Next time you meet someone, hot babe or not, realize that they are entering Your World and you are sharing YOUR experience with them. In fact, consider it your gift to them! They are indeed fortunate to meet you because you are rare, my friend! How many AFC's do you know are content to complain about their problems with women instead of doing something about it? The fact that you are reading this right now shows that you are one step ahead of the whining masses. Give yourself some credit, man! But hey, don't get too complacent there. A pat on the back is great once in a while but the road to improvement has no end. Look at all the people who made a difference throughout history. Christ, Martin Luther King, Einstein, Edison, Picasso. They never reached a point where they were like, "alrighty then, I have accomplished alot of things, I guess my work is done here!" You can also bet that, although they were all accused of insanity or heresy, they couldn't give a wad of horse $hit what anyone thought of them. Which brings up another valuable point. You must stand up for yourself! Even if it means you have to be a pri¢k, never let anyone disrespect or take advantage of you. If someone, cute girl or not, flakes on you or fu¢ks you over somehow, don't put up with it! Either ignore them completely or confront them! If they pout and bit¢h, well then tough titties man, banish them from your world and stop caring if they like you or not. Whatever it takes, don't ever give your personal power away to the weight of what other's think of you. It is a trap almost as diabolical and magnetic as...

 

[Holland]

Wow, I just got back from a week of holiday since my last post and what do I find here: This topic is getting better!

Nice that you have the audio books and them on your ipod. That's good. I also recommend Brian Tracy's: The Psychology of Achievement. I listen to it a lot on my headset whenever I'm traveling or before I go to sleep.


I also wanted to comment on this:

Thanks for the support dude, but it just seems that nothings changing, even though I have a better attitude about myself, things pretty much seem like they've always been

with a quote from the beforementioned audio series: "If we try to make things in happen too fast, it'll create a crisis of stress in our lives. What we need to do is just relax and expect that whatever we want in our lives comes to us when we are ready for it."
So what you need to do is get ready for it and expect it and whenever you meet a new interaction (or an interaction you want to improve) in your life just try to make the best of it, learn from your failures and then get better and be happy.


As for your voice, don't care too much about it. Just make the best of it. Don't focus on it too much. I mean, when I first saw and heard myself on video I didn't expect what I heard either. It's just a little weird too hear and see yourself, but you'll get used to it when you see and/or hear it more.