"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Help...I have oneitis and i dont care

I Love Life

Don Juan
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I need some serious help. Here is the background. I met this girl about a year ago and i was total afc for about 6 months until i found this site. So the last couple months i've been trying to make it known that im the one with more value than her. I met her at work and never thought about dating her. She got a different job about 6 months ago and we kind of split ways but talked on msn about 2-3 times a week. Usually about 1 hour convos, always stuff to talk about. Then i moved in to a place closer to her, Instead of being an hour a way i was 10 minutes. So a couple days ago she invited me to go miniture golfing with her and one of her girlfriends. So i agree and spent the time making sure her friend would "approve" me and to get some actual kino going. So i made a good impression and the next day she calls me and wants to come over with her friend. Initially i didn't really have feelings for her. So i told her to come over and we all got drunk. So it is the 2 girls, me and my roomate. So i take the girl i know up to my bedroom and we start kissing. So about 15 minutes pass and i grab her shirt and say "we should probably take this off"
her: I dont think so
me: thats fine
So about 10 more minutes of kissing and i repeat until she gives in. I had to do this for each piece of clothing (about 3 hours). I probably kissed every part of her body 50 times. Anyway i finally have sex with her (I was a virgin). I wasn't able to get off but i know she did. Anyway I know the girl lives with her boyfriend, who she has been with for over 4 years. There relationship is a little rocky right now. She has never cheated on him until me. At first i was like "yes! i finally had sex im sooooo happy! Now though, i just feel like shiatttt. I want this girl and i dont care that i want her. I know most of you will say im just falling for the first girl that has showed me attention but i really dont give a shiat. I talked to her today and she said things are gonna be wierd between us. also,
her: i always wanted to know what it was like
me: what?
her: having sex with someone other than my boyfriend, well now i know.
Anyway i asked her if she liked it and she said she wasn't sure. She still doesn't really show much interest, she just acts as like something happened that was no big deal. I've been pretty much doing the same thing. She said she's probably not gonna tell her boyfriend because shes scared that he would never talk to her again. Ok so thats the background and heres my question. I need to know what i should do to get her. I dont want to hear "forget about her, your just falling in love with the first girl that has showed you attention." As i said i dont care. Any other info you need ask. And Thanks.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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wayword

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I Love Life said:
Anyway I know the girl lives with her boyfriend, who she has been with for over 4 years.

her: i always wanted to know what it was like
me: what?
her: having sex with someone other than my boyfriend, well now i know.
Anyway i asked her if she liked it and she said she wasn't sure. She still doesn't really show much interest, she just acts as like something happened that was no big deal. I've been pretty much doing the same thing. She said she's probably not gonna tell her boyfriend because shes scared that he would never talk to her again.
WOW! Another cheating slut with a bf who has NO IDEA! And guys think they'd be safe after 4 years?

Anyways, she tested you out and obviously wasn't too impressed. If she was, she'd have repeated the experience. But now, she's settled her curiosity and is back with her bf - having lost nothing in the process.
 

I Love Life

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wayword said:
WOW! Another cheating slut with a bf who has NO IDEA! And guys think they'd be safe after 4 years?

Anyways, she tested you out and obviously wasn't too impressed. If she was, she'd have repeated the experience. But now, she's settled her curiosity and is back with her bf - having lost nothing in the process.
Ok this was last saturday i worked on sunday and she works and has school all day mon-thurs. so its not like she has had a chance to repeat the experience.
 

Phyzzle

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Question: so the chick's friend was in your house while you were upstairs bangin her? So the chick's friend knows. So the boyfriend's gonna know soon, I'm guessing.

I need to know what i should do to get her.
Well, if that's all you need to know, then try

Not telling her to dump her bf.

Not trying to convince her using logic that she would be better off with you.

Not telling her "I want you and I don't care that I want you." Don't say anything like that.

Just take it slow, keep it light, try to invite her over for more bangin. Don't pressure her for any relationship.
 

ProtoMan1

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I Love Life said:
Ok this was last saturday i worked on sunday and she works and has school all day mon-thurs. so its not like she has had a chance to repeat the experience.
Yeah you are a real hero for messing with a girl that HAS a boyfriend. :down:
This does not warrant help from anybody on this board.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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flexion_

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Well somehow I don't think you were her first outside of her BF in the last 4 years - seemed too easy didn't it?

Maybe her and her BF have an open relationship.
 

I Love Life

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Phyzzle said:
Question: so the chick's friend was in your house while you were upstairs bangin her? So the chick's friend knows. So the boyfriend's gonna know soon, I'm guessing.

The friend was messin around with my roommate and i dont think she would tell. But i really dont care if he knows.
 

I Love Life

Don Juan
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flexion_ said:
Well somehow I don't think you were her first outside of her BF in the last 4 years - seemed too easy didn't it?

Maybe her and her BF have an open relationship.
Im not gonna say i know for 100% that i was her first outside of her bf but the way she talks and the way her friends talk im about 99% its true. so should i take this as IOI or that she was just using me to figure things out?
 

I Love Life

Don Juan
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ProtoMan1 said:
Yeah you are a real hero for messing with a girl that HAS a boyfriend. :down:
This does not warrant help from anybody on this board.
I am not trying to be a hero, i just went for what i wanted. Selfish...yes i know.
 

Slevin

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Why do you want a girl that cheats on her boyfriend so easily? If she did it to him she will more then likely do it to you.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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I Love Life

Don Juan
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Slevin said:
Why do you want a girl that cheats on her boyfriend so easily? If she did it to him she will more then likely do it to you.
Her boyfriend had this coming and i know she is not a slut. Please just give me advice on what i need to do and not ask me questions on why i am doing what im doing. Thanks.
 

Consent

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You have to be more dominant and charming than her bf. That being said, if it came down to it, her bf would probably still have an advantage just because they are together, unless they are about to break up.
 

Slevin

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I Love Life said:
Her boyfriend had this coming and i know she is not a slut. Please just give me advice on what i need to do and not ask me questions on why i am doing what im doing. Thanks.
TROLL!!!
 

I Love Life

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Consent said:
You have to be more dominant and charming than her bf. That being said, if it came down to it, her bf would probably still have an advantage just because they are together, unless they are about to break up.
she told me they broke up like 2 weeks ago but she's still living with him. but now shes saying hes trying so hard to be with me and is having mixed feelings so i dont think they actually broke up. i think the problem is that they are so tied together financially. they both leased a house taken out loans and she really doesn't have anywhere else to go. but i sure as hell dont want her livin with me yet.
 

Phyzzle

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Not necessarily a Troll. There are people who really are sincerely this clueless.

i know she is not a slut.
How do you know that? Do you have her under survaillance when she's playing mini-golf on weekends with other guys?

What makes you the ONLY other guy she's ever done this with? Because she told you?

Anyway, she does need to get her life in order before you even think about "getting" her.

Till then, keep it light, just be an FB . . . a c0ck for her to cry on in times of need.

Why be an emotional tampon, when you can be an emotional dildo?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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In France we have a saying, I will translate it to English as best I can.

'Bed with a dog and you are not better than a dog'

It is said more eloquently in France but it has the same meaning.
 

I Love Life

Don Juan
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Phyzzle said:
How do you know that? Do you have her under survaillance when she's playing mini-golf on weekends with other guys?

What makes you the ONLY other guy she's ever done this with? Because she told you?
Ok here is the reasons that i believe she is who she says she is
1. she tells me she is constantly bored
2. her friend bet my roommate 20 dollars that we wouldn't have sex because "thats not who she is"
3. She is constantly busy with work and school.
4. I have yet to catch her lying to me.
 
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Let him be some people need to experience mistakes in order to learn.

The story sounds farfetched and if it isn't he knows most of you are right he is just trying to rationalize.

People don’t like to admit they are wrong.
 

Bvbidd

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Wh0re. And you don't want to admit it.

Who cares though? If she wanted you again you'd know.
So just move on then she'll come back.
 

I Love Life

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ok i have known her quite a while and if shes a wh0re i would be incredibly surprised. But if shes a wh0re i dont care. Everything about this story is 100 % truth. I have no reason to lie on a message board. Anyway i want to thank you guys for the advice.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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