"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

help getting out of oneitis.

garruk

Senior Don Juan
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so im ashamed to say this but ive got oneitis.

this girl ive been dating went away for a month and it pretty much threw my game off. im great at keeping distance and balancing my life when i see the girl in person, but wit hthe distance i found myself constantly texting and talking to her on the phone.

now her interest level is falling off a little (texting/calling me less often) which is fine BUT:

the other night i went out with my boys and i realized: fvck, i got oneitis. all i could think about was this girl, even as other girls were all around me. last night, i called an old plate to hang out and get some drinks but i couldnt pull the trigger and escalate becuase i had no desire to do so. ive already cut contact with the oneitis (she gets back this weekend) but im still in trouble.


can anyone give me some pointers? im doing all the motions but i cant make the move.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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loveshogun

Master Don Juan
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Sometimes you gotta have faith in yourself.

If you're doing the things you love to do in life, it helps to remind yourself that there was a time when you were happy before you met this girl. Just cause she's out of your life is no reason to give up on future happiness. Women are only a small part of the equation.

Keep up with your boys, and your hobbies. If it strikes you and the opportunities arise to go out with other women, go ahead. Just remember that it's YOU that will keep you happy, not someone else.

It might take some time, but it'll go away.
 

garruk

Senior Don Juan
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Jun 12, 2008
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loveshogun said:
Sometimes you gotta have faith in yourself.

If you're doing the things you love to do in life, it helps to remind yourself that there was a time when you were happy before you met this girl. Just cause she's out of your life is no reason to give up on future happiness. Women are only a small part of the equation.

Keep up with your boys, and your hobbies. If it strikes you and the opportunities arise to go out with other women, go ahead. Just remember that it's YOU that will keep you happy, not someone else.

It might take some time, but it'll go away.

yeah you're totally right but it's hard becuase I know she's coming back soon. in retrospect I feel kinda like I got played becuase she's spending the next week with me before she moves to her new apartment. I agreed to this before she left and I feel like she knew this would keep her in my head or something.

agh anywyas, I'm going to try my best doing as you said.
 
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