"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Help for an introvert

T Money

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hey, I just found out via dictionary.com that i'm introverted. What's the best way to stop thinking so much about ME?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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T Money

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yeah that's me.

Truth is, I really don't give a fvck about anything, i'm 22 and I honestly only care about what happens to me. And i've done a lot of bad sh!t because of that mentality.
 

realsmoothie

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Did you really read that definition? Being introverted doesn't mean you're selfish...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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chandidas

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GaryUranga said:
I think hes looking for "egocentrist" or something.. or has dislexia I dunno
its dyslexia bro...sorry i jus had to correct it
 

Tom Juan

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I'm sorry I can't help, but I don't know what that word means.
 

Titanium

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A potentially good topic...

There are many behaviors that can make someone seem introverted….for example, anti-social behavior (ie not caring about other people) and depression, apathy, being withdrawn etc.

Introverts are not exactly anti-social, or without care for themselves or others, nor are they necessarily shy. Introverts can be quite social and out going.

For introverts, the brain actually works backwards to that of extroverts. Thinking patters follow a different route. Being introverted used to mean (was formerly used to refer to being) shy, self-centred, focused on oneself etc….but more recently, its defined in terms of mental energy.

An introvert gains energy, or becomes mentally stimulated, by being alone and engaging in solitary activities. Usually deeply analytical, and prefers quality over quantity. Introverts lose or expend mental energy by being around other people…..they can be very social, but frequently feel the need to be alone and recharge. For thinking patterns - the brain actually takes a longer route…hence, the 'slow or meticulous thinker' (not stupid or dumb, but not the type to verbalize excessively…or does so in short spurts).

The opposite is true for extroverts….they gain energy from people places and things. They appear very verbal and out going. They lose energy / or mental stimulation from being alone, or in the same place for too long. They need things to change….familiarity can be a downer. They think best by verbalizing their thoughts with others, like in a group setting. Extroverts need alone time as well, but not as distinctly much as the introvert.

Its rather hard to judge someone as an introvert or extrovert….but the best way is to look at it in terms of mental energy gain / and energy loss. I think that people are naturally born introverted or extroverted (as per the way thinking patterns go), but ideally, we want to be balanced, to fall into the middle of the spectrum.

Re: the opening post….you may very well be introverted, but not caring for oneself, or thinking excessively about oneself is not indicative of introversion. Could imply depression, apathy, anger issues…..frustration stemming from the need for inner change, the need to conquer fears, to open up and expand. Et cetera. When one turns inwards and against the world, they are essentially involved in an emotional war or conflict with themselves.

Self respect and defining ones own principals / and values is fundamental to 'giving a sh*t'. Sometimes we lose our path in life, and it becomes a matter of (re -) establishing what we believe in, and of course, establishing belief in ourselves. Religious or not, one has to define their own core values, their own code of behavior, and develop the discipline to follow that no matter what. When you betray those, you metaphorically f*ck yourself in the as*.

Try a Myers – Briggs test to learn more about introversion / extroversion, what kind of a thinker you are. I grabbed a few quick links….


http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tt/t-articl/mb-simpl.htm
 
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