HELP! Ex gf bpd, npd, or am I imagining

[Gixxer6]

Okay so I've always looked thru other areas of the site but never made an account until now because I would like to get some clarity on this. I dated a girl (19) for about 6 months and at times I was always confused as to where she stood regarding me. Her parents were very strict so she always had to tell them she was with her best friend when she was with me, which got annoying because alot of the time her friend would hang out with us. She wouldn't mind making out in front of her friend even tho I did feel a little awkward in the beginning.I told her I wanted to spend time with just her and not the both of them, I said jokingly that I might as well be dating them both.She would get mad when I said that and get quiet and give me a look. Btw her and this friend were always together everyday all day. She would also talk bad about her friend to me about certain things her friend did that she felt her friend was jealous of her and copying her. she was always very flirty towards me. I don't really remember the beginning to well but we got to know each other over the next 2 months or so. We began texting daily all day and when I wouldn't respond right away because I was busy or at work she would catch a fit and start sending multiple messages not to ignore her. She also liked to display emotion and feelings thru text and not in person. Over some time I guess she got really attached to me but was afraid of showing it in person, certain things she did that I knew I had to end it and I would do so, she would get extremely depressed,crying, tagging me in memes about missing me. Her best friend would text me asking me what happened and after about a day I would cave in and everything would be back to normal. She would tell me she adores me and that she is falling in love with me and that she thought that she could never love again. Fast forward towards the end we both go on vacation separately me with my friends and her with her mom. We continue to keep a little contact but she was in another country so I simply ask her if she would like to talk when she gets back so she doesn't get a big bill. She says okay and I think all is well. I text her when she's back asking to see her and she says she doesn't think it's a good idea that I pushed her away. I tried explaining myself even apologized. Basically she broke up over text. I then cut all contact deleted her off social media and never spoke again. A mutual friend told me she has a new bf after two months and she is posting pics of them together online(she never mentioned our relationship online)which didn't bother me at all. I'm most likely forgetting a few things but I'll cliff some incidents that I encountered.

• no parental issues but she said her uncle molested her when she was young
•ex bf at the at the age of 15 used to force her to have sex and would hit her
•doesn't get along with her female cousins
•that girls at her job are envious of her and are against her
•went out one night she had been drinking previously, she started crying and punching the door of my car
• that she's afraid to lose her parents and gets depressed at times about it
• at a friends house together and she pointed a gun at me (friend was licensed to carry)
•very sexual in public
•extremely jealous of my female friends would get mad at me smoking a cigarette with a female coworker
• showing me all the messages guys send her on fb (she never responded to them as far as I know)
•she'd tell me how guys always hit on her when she was out
• wouldn't believe me when I told her she was beautiful
• mentions private details about sex life to her best friend
• randomly gets anxiety and doesn't know the cause
•used to ask me if I loved her even when I told her I did with out her asking (she wouldn't say it first)
•her idea to have sex with out a condom once, I went in for a little then put one on, wasn't trying to get her pregnant
•would send me tons of sexual pictures found on the Internet
•told me she had been throwing up in the mornings I ended up buying a pregnancy test to check
•she would joke about being pregnant to see my reaction
• she wouldn't go the see a movie with me because I had seen it already with my female cousin and brother
•whenever we would hang out it would be basically at her convince
•gave me hickeys in visible areas on purpose
• said I couldn't go on vacation with my friends and she has to talk to my friends about me going. I laughed and told her I'm going

There is definitely more but I'm just forgetting them at the moment.

 

[GS750]

I don't know if this chick is BPD but she is unstable. Given her young age you could be dealing with a fickle, impulsive, emotional teenager.

Okay so I've always looked thru other areas of the site but never made an account until now because I would like to get some clarity on this. I dated a girl (19) for about 6 months and at times I was always confused as to where she stood regarding me. Her parents were very strict so she always had to tell them she was with her best friend when she was with me, which got annoying because alot of the time her friend would hang out with us. She wouldn't mind making out in front of her friend even tho I did feel a little awkward in the beginning.I told her I wanted to spend time with just her and not the both of them, I said jokingly that I might as well be dating them both.She would get mad when I said that and get quiet and give me a look. Btw her and this friend were always together everyday all day. She would also talk bad about her friend to me about certain things her friend did that she felt her friend was jealous of her and copying her. she was always very flirty towards me. I don't really remember the beginning to well but we got to know each other over the next 2 months or so. We began texting daily all day and when I wouldn't respond right away because I was busy or at work she would catch a fit and start sending multiple messages not to ignore her. She also liked to display emotion and feelings thru text and not in person. Over some time I guess she got really attached to me but was afraid of showing it in person, certain things she did that I knew I had to end it and I would do so, she would get extremely depressed,crying, tagging me in memes about missing me. Her best friend would text me asking me what happened and after about a day I would cave in and everything would be back to normal. She would tell me she adores me and that she is falling in love with me and that she thought that she could never love again. Fast forward towards the end we both go on vacation separately me with my friends and her with her mom. We continue to keep a little contact but she was in another country so I simply ask her if she would like to talk when she gets back so she doesn't get a big bill. She says okay and I think all is well. I text her when she's back asking to see her and she says she doesn't think it's a good idea that I pushed her away. I tried explaining myself even apologized. Basically she broke up over text. I then cut all contact deleted her off social media and never spoke again. A mutual friend told me she has a new bf after two months and she is posting pics of them together online(she never mentioned our relationship online)which didn't bother me at all. I'm most likely forgetting a few things but I'll cliff some incidents that I encountered.

This is a mine field of red flags. Holy sh*t Batman...

• no parental issues but she said her uncle molested her when she was young Claims of sexual abuse at an early age
•ex bf at the at the age of 15 used to force her to have sex and would hit her Claims of abuse from former BF
•doesn't get along with her female cousins Family issues, not a dealbreaker though
•that girls at her job are envious of her and are against her Drama with other females, likely prefers the company of men. Girls are too catty/competitive
•went out one night she had been drinking previously, she started crying and punching the door of my car Violent/hostile. Temper issues
• that she's afraid to lose her parents and gets depressed at times about it Lose her parents? Like in an accident or they might cut her off because she's a wacko?
• at a friends house together and she pointed a gun at me (friend was licensed to carry) Crazy/nutty behavior. Still in contact with this nutjob after this incident???
•very sexual in public not much of a dealbreaker...
•extremely jealous of my female friends would get mad at me smoking a cigarette with a female coworker Jealousy/competitive
• showing me all the messages guys send her on fb (she never responded to them as far as I know) manipulation. Trying to get you to invest more and stir up jealousy. Showing you there are other guys who can take your place
•she'd tell me how guys always hit on her when she was out Same as above. Letting you know that she is desirable
• wouldn't believe me when I told her she was beautiful body image issues. Doesn't handle compliments well
• mentions private details about sex life to her best friend All chicks do this
• randomly gets anxiety and doesn't know the cause Emotionally unstable maybe
•used to ask me if I loved her even when I told her I did with out her asking (she wouldn't say it first) Worried that you may leave her. Abandonment issues
•her idea to have sex with out a condom once, I went in for a little then put one on, wasn't trying to get her pregnant If she gets knocked up, you'll never leave her
•would send me tons of sexual pictures found on the Internet
•told me she had been throwing up in the mornings I ended up buying a pregnancy test to check more manipulation to see your reaction
•she would joke about being pregnant to see my reaction See above
• she wouldn't go the see a movie with me because I had seen it already with my female cousin and brother Selfish/self centered
•whenever we would hang out it would be basically at her convince See above
•gave me hickeys in visible areas on purpose
• said I couldn't go on vacation with my friends and she has to talk to my friends about me going. I laughed and told her I'm going Controlling

There is definitely more but I'm just forgetting them at the moment.

If this is all true, this chick is an unstable basketcase that you should get as far away from as possible. Who cares if she's BPD? She's a liability. Run far. Run fast

 

[Gixxer6]

Thanks I actually cracked up reading some of your responses. I was just looking for some insight I haven't spoken to her and don't plan on at all. I had it I clear that i really liked her at the time. I'm a pretty laid back person and I don't get to jealous. Her fear of parents dying at some point in time would cause her to break down

 

[El Payaso]

A chick will only do to you as much as you let her get away with. She realized you were a pushover and a doormat which is why she didn't think twice about leaving you.

The moment a chick starts pointing a gun at you and you still stay with her, you communicate to her that you have no self worth.

Regardless of what happened in this "relationship", you dodged a bullet here. Literally.

 

[Gixxer6]

I began noticing afterwards how stupid I was and also that she is like this to her best friend and her family if she doesn't get what she wants she gets angry or gives the silent treatment

 

[Infern0]

A chick will only do to you as much as you let her get away with. She realized you were a pushover and a doormat which is why she didn't think twice about leaving you.

The moment a chick starts pointing a gun at you and you still stay with her, you communicate to her that you have no self worth.

Regardless of what happened in this "relationship", you dodged a bullet here. Literally.

While this is true, a girl like this is a catch 22, the "alpha" thing to do would be to kick her ass to the kerb VERY early on in the interaction, and the "beta" thing to do is to hang around.

The only "win" is getting out,it's just a case of how quickly.

 

[BrainDamage92]

AHahahahah she pointed a gun at you and you ask if shes alright?


This story sounds like me, around 3 years ago, it feels good doesnt it, when you feel like someone's life depends or your mere presence. Its not that you love her, its the way she makes you feel needed and important. Heh...

6 months is not alot, I spent 3 years in this **** and came out without a scratch AMA (but your girl seems REALLY fuked up)

You was a kid before, now on your way to become a badass mofo, just dont worry, it will be all right.

Cut this girl out of your life ofc is the only advice. But dont put the whole blame on her, BPD whatever, these are labels for types of parasitic personalities, not mental illness. A have a ****zophrenic buddie, now thats mental illness. But same as with insane people, you cant explain whats worng with her to a girl like that - either shes pretending to be dumb, or she really is, dont matter.

Just let time pass and you will see, youre at fault, its like willingly walking into Hannibal's cell and then be like "OMG he ate me its his fault". Heh...

Chill out and cut her off like you're cutting off dead skin of your toe.

 

[Gixxer6]

Thanks. I realize now it was my fault for staying I overlooked a lot of ****. Maybe because there were good times and some of the **** she did was in a jokingly manner.