"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Hello. I'm new here.

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I'm Matt, and I'm 16. A friend referred me here.

I'm just so lonely. I've got no one. I don't have a girlfriend. I just want a female companion. A girlfriend. I don't care about sex, or any of that stuff. I just want a girl to love me, and let me love her. I'm so lonely. I've got nobody. I've got some emotional problems, but I'm a nice guy. I really do have love to give.

Please help me.

I look like crap. I'm freaking ugly. It's my teeth. They're yellow, because of stupid medicines I was on as a kid.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Cinamon

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Hi Matt. Welcome to the Forum.

Looks like you have some self esteem issues at the moment. Why dont you take the first step to work on your image, if you look good, you will feel good, and if you feel good, you become more approachable. What would you say your best features are, highlight those a bit more.

At 16, you must still be at school, why not participate in someextra-curricular activities and try meeting girls from there. Maybe you are looking for a friend at this stage rather than a girlfriend.
 

joedmango

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WhenTheRadiatorBurst said:
I look like crap. I'm freaking ugly. It's my teeth. They're yellow, because of stupid medicines I was on as a kid.
Cinamon is right, you have a very low self esteem. and at your age you should not worry things about love and a girlfriend, what you need to do, is put your attention at school, family and i think what more important is spend time with your friends with same age with you. Dont bother to much on how to be loved by an opposite sex. not a good idea. :yes:

Anyway welcome to the board!
 

Mr CIDH

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Welcome to the forum.
You sound like you have self issues, which can use some help and might be that your looking more for a friend than a GF.
GFs won't fix you lonely issues. Go seek a cool friend or if you want someone to talk emotional issues with or try a female friend which you feel absolutely NO attraction to.
Remember: Friend-chicks are no GFs. If you make a girl your normal friend she will never be able to become your GF anymore.
Keep those things separate in life saves you a lotta drama.

A doctor or dentist can tell you how to fix yellow teeth.
 

She_feelin_Me

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These should be your friends...A good part time job to stack $$, and if you are outta shape a good gym to get toned up. The $$ will keep your appperance up like hair cuts, new clothes, shoes, take yourself out and befriends with yourself first. You cant love no one if you dont love yourself first. Forget about girls right now you have to get intuned with yourself.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Hey, Cinamon.

Thanks. You seem like a nice dude.

Best features ... hmm ... I don't think my hair is that bad, and then there's always ... down there. :crackup:

Yeah. I'm in eleventh grade. I'm not athletic, so that rules out sports, and that's really the only extra-curricular school activities, except for FBLA, which isn't really my thing, and FFA, which I'm a member of but don't really participate in.

I have a job at a grocery store. There's a couple of pretty hot girls there, but I think they're all spoken for.

The female friend thing ... I've tried that. Doesn't work too well. I always fall for them. :(

And I'm totally not as big a puss as I sound like. ;)
 
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joedmango:

Thanks. :up:

Yeah, I've got pretty low self-esteem I guess.

I suck at school. Not really my thing. I've got a considerable amount of family issues. I have a few male accquanitences from school, but they're always busy and never want to hang out.
 
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She_feelin_Me:

I have a job. With tips, I make okay money.

I'm in average shape, I guess. No gyms in the area, and I typically don't feel like taking the time to exercise.

I do need some new clothing and shoes.

Good advice, man. Thanks. :up:
 

nismo-4

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Welcome to the forum.

You seem to be a case of low self-esteem. I understand, the case of never having a girlfriend or a female in one's life and they end up the butt of virgin and gay jokes.

Why not join some clubs, hit the gym, go to school dances, stuff like that?

When was the last time you visited your dentist?

Do you meet women on the job? And where do you go to meet women?

You can also treat yourself to a movie or something like that. And if you get invited to parties at all, at your age you should go.

BTW, since you have a job, why not ask a female friend (or a female) to go shopping with you to get some trendy clothes?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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