"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

HB's and bringing their friends

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
It's a topic that has been brought up on the forum before. What to do if you make plans with a HB, but later learn that a friend or friends of hers will also be present. I believe I even asked about it over a year ago. Opinions vary - some posters say to cancel or abandon the date, while others say to go along with it. I'm not sure if there is one correct answer. However, I do have thoughts/questions:

- HB's have become more clever when doing this. By that, I mean they wait until the last possible moment to mention it. In the aforementioned example above, the HB texted me while I was on the way to the date that her friend would be there too. Having no choice but to play it out, the friend eventually left after a little while and things worked out.

- Last week, a met up with a HB at a bar. It wasn't really a "date," but regardless, I was asking her out. Even though she met up with me at the bar alone, one of her AFC guy friends "mysteriously" appears from elsewhere in the bar. Fortunately, I was prepared for this, and a couple of my friends showed up moments later (bar is close to where we live). I even had another HB lined up to stop by, but she got held up at work. We had a fun time, and HB wants to hang out again soon. However, this raises some questions about the entire process:

- What guy would ever agree to be a HB's "protection?" I mention that the guy was an AFC because it's easy to tell he isn't getting any from the HB. These guys are also more of the nice but submissive, not-as-physically-fit type. I understand why HB's do this, but what does the guy gain? I've seen this from a 3rd person perspective before and I am still confused. My other question, does a HB do this because there isn't comfort or because there isn't enough attraction? These situations often carry varying results, so I'm not sure what to think. Could help understand the tactic better.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
Any thoughts? While the "attraction or comfort" question will impact my game more, I still wonder why guys would submit themselves to be a HB's escort/"protection" for the night. I understand how orbiters work, but not even they would do this, right?
 

thatfeel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 5, 2013
Messages
714
Reaction score
186
If it's sex you want from this girl it's 1 on 1 dates/meets or GTFO. When a girl you're interested in brings her friends you're pretty much just wasting your time. Either get her to do something alone/not bring her friends or just say sorry dude and move on to the next one.
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
I've never had this happen and if it did I would have canceled and/or walked out on her.

Either she thought you were a creepy dude she didn't feel comfortable about, she really didn't care too much about meeting up with you, or she is trying to play a game and see if you will play along.

I would have let her know to have fun with her friend, then deleted her number and if she texted again hit her with a "Who's this?".

F that sh!t

You ask what guy would agree to be "protection" for a girl on a date, I'm asking what guy would agree to meet under those conditions? Step your game up bro. That's a weak look.
 

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
marmel75 said:
You ask what guy would agree to be "protection" for a girl on a date, I'm asking what guy would agree to meet under those conditions? Step your game up bro. That's a weak look.
Agreeing to meet =/= showing up only to learn there's a surprise addition to the group. Situation has only happened twice with me. If you read the post through, the 1st encounter was actually successful. Not an idea circumstance to begin a date, however it doesn't always forecast doom.

The second mention was a girl who I work with, so bolting immediately would not have been a good look. I don't need to invest as much energy into a HB who does this, but embarrassing her publicly would be more for your own ego instead of trying to shame her. We're adults.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
The LadyKiller said:
Agreeing to meet =/= showing up only to learn there's a surprise addition to the group. Situation has only happened twice with me. If you read the post through, the 1st encounter was actually successful. Not an idea circumstance to begin a date, however it doesn't always forecast doom.

The second mention was a girl who I work with, so bolting immediately would not have been a good look. I don't need to invest as much energy into a HB who does this, but embarrassing her publicly would be more for your own ego instead of trying to shame her. We're adults.

Exactly. And when an adult asks another adult on a date its assumed that its only going to be the two of you. Now, if some random guy just happens to show up, that could be coincidence, so I am not talking about that situation.

In reference to the first one, I would have never learned if it would have been successful or not because I would have just left.

More importantly you are bringing this up as if this is a normal occurrence for you, and if it is there is a big problem here. Again I will say that I NEVER had this happen---not even once.
 
Top