you are passive-aggressively attacking DJing.
WHY?
"if i dj her it is wrong cause I will be controling her...."
Yet you say you don't want to be with her.... "hb9 Gf why does she stay with me???
You are flip floping your outlook on her and your relationship. I think the real question here is What the F is your Question?
Yes yes I know assume.... make an ass out of you and me, but you have to addmit that all you have said is how great it is that you can do all the things that djing tells you not to do and how djing would be just a form of controling a person, and that isn't what you want to do.
SO don't.
This is a perfect example of "
If it isn't broke don't fix it.
so to recap you have come on here telling how you got a hottie that won't leave you no matter what you do and djing isn't what you want to do, although you can. You don't want her to stop loving you since she has always loved you, yet you wounder why she hasn't left you. You have professed your love your insecurities and that is it.
OK your scared to loose her yet you know she isn't leaving so what is your problem.
If it is yourself than get counceling and keep bettering yourself like you said you are already doing.