having the final say *advice needed*

[Bingo-Player]

some of you may be aware I've been having trouble with my (ex) GF lately

to cut a long story short for those that don't

6 month relationship ,for 4 months everything was incredible

however at 5 months in my gut told me something was up she went weird cold and distant

no smoke without fire i slammed the breaks on and went ghost

she's been doing her upmost to try and fvck with my mind since but I've maintained my science

last night she messages me begging to talk .........ok il let her have her say

she rings me crying saying she misses me and her "head is fvcked" i tell her calmly that I'm not interested in immature little girls who play games with guys they claim to "love"

then the truth finally comes out she says she has been sleeping with her EX

( a guy that cheated on her with her best friend LMFAO )

all the pieces finally fall together like a jigsaw puzzle and for the first time i can see the whole picture for myself

i don't know how long she's been sleeping with him , to be honest i don't particularly care as far as I'm concerned we are done

i tell her this ( more crying ) i put the phone down and tell her to delete my number

.....................................

ok now this is where i need you're help guys the relationship is over I've accepted that , i accepted it a few weeks ago

however i put a lot into this girl and i feel she needs to understand what she's done

I've drafted a pretty horrific message for her .......outlining every single one of her fvck ups what she's lost and a couple of seriously gut wrenching home truths for her

i know the message has got the potential to break her because of the way I've written it and thats what i want

my only question is would just completely walking away at this point hurt her more than sending the message ?

 

[lizardking82]

The thing is not if your message would break her not. I got a problem with your desire to break her. Why would you wanna break another person? She did you wrong, you walked away. Until here we're good. Right now you're acting like my roommate who goes up to women who refuse him and "tells them the truths of life, how miserable they are, how ****ed their lives are, etc.". Common, man. You're being butthurt. That's no DJ attitude. Move on. Living well is the best revenge.

 

[Plums]

She made a mistake. You have made your decision. I think she is hurt enough. In the short term you will probably feel better venting your anger at her and 'destroying' her. But that doesn't say much about your strength of character.
We are all human, we all have failings and make mistakes. You too.
Why don't you just be honest with her. Tell her you invested a lot emotionally in her and she really hurt you. That will teach her more about herself than any vindictive message pointing out her flaws will ever do.
She must have been nice in some ways, because you fell in love with her. If she is nice, knowing she hurt you will haunt her and maybe she will be more careful in future.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Break the b !t¢h.

She deserves it.

 

[Desdinova]

I've drafted a pretty horrific message for her .......outlining every single one of her fvck ups what she's lost and a couple of seriously gut wrenching home truths for her

As men, we really want to help others learn from their mistakes. It's the logical thing to do. The problem is, women generally don't learn from their mistakes. Is she going to stop fvcking her ex for the next guy? Probably not.

The only reason why I send lengthy messages to ex-GFs is if I feel the need to explain my reasons for dumping her.

she says she has been sleeping with her EX

She doesn't need an explanation. She knows why you got rid of her. She knows she deserved it.

a guy that cheated on her with her best friend

....and that's why she's come back to you. Her ex fvcked her and then he went and fvcked some other chick. The branch she tried to swing back to broke, and she trying to grab back onto you. Let her fall into the turbulent water of her own emotions. She's not worth trying to save.

 

[Von]

If you send her something, she'll be back on you since you give her attention.

Best way is done nothing and take à vacation

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Haa. Wow. I seem to remember saying at the time that she'd come crawling back. They always do when you walk.

My instinct; fck her (not literally). She made her own bed. Let her lie in it and find other chicks. It's not until we men as a collective stand our ground, women as a collective will learn that there are consequences to their actions.

 

[wifehunter]

 

[Bingo-Player]

If you send her something, she'll be back on you since you give her attention.

Best way is done nothing and take à vacation

yea i just want to stick the knife in to be honest don't particularly want her attention

and luckily enough I'm off to ibiza thursday was a suave move booking it when all this kicked off

i need it

 

[Bingo-Player]

Haa. Wow. I seem to remember saying at the time that she'd come crawling back. They always do when you walk.

My instinct; fck her (not literally). She made her own bed. Let her lie in it and find other chicks. It's not until we men as a collective stand our ground, women as a collective will learn that there are consequences to their actions.

yea theres something in the female mind that cannot accept a man walking away

its almost like they have to have EX's snapping at they're heels or they haven't completed they're mission , they always feel they have unfinished business

they simply cannot understand it

she even said to me on the phone last night " no guy has ever been able to just switch off from me like you do "

and i told her its because i respect my own standards far more than i respect her

im not even attracted to her anymore so she can fvck off , i just want to know what way to inflict maximum pain

ignore or fire some rounds

hmmmmm

 

[DreamAgain]

I once wrote a lengthy series of messages to a girl in a similar situation to yours.

Rather than accept the logic I had laid out, she got defensive and started denying what I had said, and still insisted she was right.

Which in turn got me even more angry and frustrated.

My opinion, just walk away silently with your head up high.

 

[sazc]

she even said to me on the phone last night " no guy has ever been able to just switch off from me like you do "

and i told her its because i respect my own standards far more than i respect her

IMO this says it all. It alerts her that there are men in the world who value themselves enough to see her BS and not tolerate it.
She is literally going to have to understand this message if she is ever going to understand how to find happiness in a relationship. You were probably the first one ever to say it. Hopefully it resonates with her.

If you really said that, or some clear variation of it, I believe you have said enough. That is the message, with complete clarity.
Dont muck it up with a lot of extra emotional sh1t.

At the very least, I think you should wait till you come back from Ibiza. By then sending that letter will probably seem ridiculous or trite.

 

[soulforge]

some of you may be aware I've been having trouble with my (ex) GF lately

to cut a long story short for those that don't

6 month relationship ,for 4 months everything was incredible

however at 5 months in my gut told me something was up she went weird cold and distant

no smoke without fire i slammed the breaks on and went ghost

she's been doing her upmost to try and fvck with my mind since but I've maintained my science

last night she messages me begging to talk .........ok il let her have her say

she rings me crying saying she misses me and her "head is fvcked" i tell her calmly that I'm not interested in immature little girls who play games with guys they claim to "love"

then the truth finally comes out she says she has been sleeping with her EX

( a guy that cheated on her with her best friend LMFAO )

all the pieces finally fall together like a jigsaw puzzle and for the first time i can see the whole picture for myself

i don't know how long she's been sleeping with him , to be honest i don't particularly care as far as I'm concerned we are done

i tell her this ( more crying ) i put the phone down and tell her to delete my number

.....................................

ok now this is where i need you're help guys the relationship is over I've accepted that , i accepted it a few weeks ago

however i put a lot into this girl and i feel she needs to understand what she's done

I've drafted a pretty horrific message for her .......outlining every single one of her fvck ups what she's lost and a couple of seriously gut wrenching home truths for her

i know the message has got the potential to break her because of the way I've written it and thats what i want

my only question is would just completely walking away at this point hurt her more than sending the message ?

This is what you say... NOTHING

Seriously man, anything you say to her will be twisted around by her or manipulated.. she will become defencive, so she doesn't have to realise what a big CUUNT she is..

You need to walk away, and never talk to her again.. let her stew inn her misery..

Explaining there actions to them very rarely works..


I tried this once.. trust me, it never works!

 

[RangerMIke]

Venting to her indicates you still care. Just ignore her... really nothing you do is going to get to her... she will just find some other dude that will tell her whatever she wants to hear to get into her pants. Anything you do will just create more frustration.

 

[Bingo-Player]

ok thanks for the input guys

it would seem the general consensus is not to send the nasty message and just leave it where it is

I'm angry at the moment and thats why i want to send it

but i suspect i will calm down in a few days and in a couple of weeks id of forgotten about the whole thing

 

[finality]

She has the power to inflict much more damage on herself than you can. The way to do that is radio silence. Each time her phone rings she will be left disappointed when its not you. Her mind will create the the worst scenerio possible when you distance yourself from her. She will imagine you with a hotter girl.. when things aren't rosy with her new dates she will wonder about you, what she had, what she lost.. she will start to overvalue you and think you are perfect. This mental warfare is much worse than any hurtful text you can send.

You need to have patience to inflict the most damage. A war isn't won by gathering all your ammo and storming in spraying bullets. You need to wait.. weeks, months, even years.

A hurtful text is reactionary and nothing good ever comes of it. I know its hard.. you want her to pay.. I'm currently in the same situation. I know the girl I've been in a relationship with has started seeing another guy since I broke up. I am tempted to hit on every one of her insecurities.. to drop atomic bombs on them.. to plant seeds of doubt in her mind that will impact her future relationships with other guys.

But instead I will lurk in the shadows like a sniper. I know right now she is happy, she is in the honeymoon phase with someone else.. but it wont last. I know this.

 

[Bingo-Player]

She has the power to inflict much more damage on herself than you can. The way to do that is radio silence. Each time her phone rings she will be left disappointed when its not you. Her mind will create the the worst scenerio possible when you distance yourself from her. She will imagine you with a hotter girl.. when things aren't rosy with her new dates she will wonder about you, what she had, what she lost.. she will start to overvalue you and think you are perfect. This mental warfare is much worse than any hurtful text you can send.

You need to have patience to inflict the most damage. A war isn't won by gathering all your ammo and storming in spraying bullets. You need to wait.. weeks, months, even years.

A hurtful text is reactionary and nothing good ever comes of it. I know its hard.. you want her to pay.. I'm currently in the same situation. I know the girl I've been in a relationship with has started seeing another guy since I broke up. I am tempted to hit on every one of her insecurities.. to drop atomic bombs on them.. to plant seeds of doubt in her mind that will impact her future relationships with other guys.

But instead I will lurk in the shadows like a sniper. I know right now she is happy, she is in the honeymoon phase with someone else.. but it wont last. I know this.

haha i really like that

ok I'm sold , I've deleted the message

 

[wifehunter]

She has the power to inflict much more damage on herself than you can. The way to do that is radio silence. Each time her phone rings she will be left disappointed when its not you. Her mind will create the the worst scenerio possible when you distance yourself from her. She will imagine you with a hotter girl.. when things aren't rosy with her new dates she will wonder about you, what she had, what she lost.. she will start to overvalue you and think you are perfect. This mental warfare is much worse than any hurtful text you can send.

You need to have patience to inflict the most damage. A war isn't won by gathering all your ammo and storming in spraying bullets. You need to wait.. weeks, months, even years.

A hurtful text is reactionary and nothing good ever comes of it. I know its hard.. you want her to pay.. I'm currently in the same situation. I know the girl I've been in a relationship with has started seeing another guy since I broke up. I am tempted to hit on every one of her insecurities.. to drop atomic bombs on them.. to plant seeds of doubt in her mind that will impact her future relationships with other guys.

But instead I will lurk in the shadows like a sniper. I know right now she is happy, she is in the honeymoon phase with someone else.. but it wont last. I know this.

I really like the sniper analogy! !! Gives me warm fuzzies.

 

[BeExcellent]

Good decision @Bingo-Player. Her hamster will do all that and more.

Anything further from you would cast you as butt hurt and erode the magnificent frame you held.

Enjoy Ibizia.

 

[soulforge]

She has the power to inflict much more damage on herself than you can. The way to do that is radio silence. Each time her phone rings she will be left disappointed when its not you. Her mind will create the the worst scenerio possible when you distance yourself from her. She will imagine you with a hotter girl.. when things aren't rosy with her new dates she will wonder about you, what she had, what she lost.. she will start to overvalue you and think you are perfect. This mental warfare is much worse than any hurtful text you can send.

You need to have patience to inflict the most damage. A war isn't won by gathering all your ammo and storming in spraying bullets. You need to wait.. weeks, months, even years.

A hurtful text is reactionary and nothing good ever comes of it. I know its hard.. you want her to pay.. I'm currently in the same situation. I know the girl I've been in a relationship with has started seeing another guy since I broke up. I am tempted to hit on every one of her insecurities.. to drop atomic bombs on them.. to plant seeds of doubt in her mind that will impact her future relationships with other guys.

But instead I will lurk in the shadows like a sniper. I know right now she is happy, she is in the honeymoon phase with someone else.. but it wont last. I know this.

This is gold..