Having more sex acting like an AFC than a DJ. What gives?

[Mazer]

I am starting to question the minimal contact tactic. I have had more sex acting like a an afc in the last six months than acting like a dj. What gives? I am 39 years old and been dating women 30 and older. Some examples,

Girl #1 : Hb-8, was total afc with this woman and I banged her out on date #3, dated and banged a few more times, spent three months with her then she went ghost on me, havent heard from her in six months.

Girl #2: Hb-7, started acting like a dj, kiss close on the 2nd date. tried setting up a third date, never heard from her again.

Girl #3: Hb-7, followed the dj way, kiss close on 1st date, went out on three dates, tried to make out with her on the 2nd and 3rd date but it was a no-go so I dropped her, never contacted her again.

Girl #4: Hb-7, followed the dj way, minimal contact, three dates, had sex, she brought up relationship talk and I dropped her.

Girl #5: Hb-8, followed the dj way, minimal contact, three dates, kiss close on 1st date and heavy make out on 2nd and third, tried to get her back to my place on 2nd and 3rd date but it was a no-go. She ghosted me, possible return to her ex-fiance.

Girl #6: Hb-7, decided to act a little afc to see what would happen, went out on 4 dates and already banged twice.

 

[bigdave17]

Women over 30 are insanely easy to get with. There is no game required there if you're a decent looking guy/decent job/in shape

 

[marmel75]

Guys need to get this out of their head that its either one or the other. In truth a mixture of both in the right proportion and right methods work best most times.

How exactly were you AFC? Because you told her you were thinking of her or something? Or you missed her? Those aren't being AFC that's called being tactful and work very well as long as its not constant and done out of being needy. Being nice isn't being an AFC...Being nice Because you want something from it or because you expect sex without being sexual is AFC.

People need to stop thinking that you have to be an @******* to get laid and You have to follow all this DJ stuff at all times. You will miss far more lay opportunities doing this than you will get. Its all about balance...yin and yang...too far to one side or too far to the other are not good.

 

[wifehunter]

If you think being a DJ is about "acting"...you've got it wrong...

Being a DJ is a mindset, not some silly script you go by. Besides, any women worth anything, will see right through the 'act'.

Get real.

 

[skinnyguy]

Girl #4 wanted a relationship and girl #1 got rid of your azz. I think your perception is flawed is to whether "acting like a DJ" works

 

[devilkingx2]

Girl #4 wanted a relationship and girl #1 got rid of your azz. I think your perception is flawed is to whether "acting like a DJ" works

To be fair a relationship that lasts for months is a definite success

 

[TheGambino]

I dont care, I like my dominant self, always dominate. It feels great, to tell a woman that her ass belongs to you, to choke her and make her cvm. Ill never be a afc even if Some women wont digg my rough style, deep down I think that All women prefer a strong dominant male that Makes them submissive.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women over 30 are insanely easy to get with. There is no game required there if you're a decent looking guy/decent job/in shape

This. If you are halfway decent it's really not that hard. I prefer dating women in the late 30s, it's easier. Younger chicks are too much a pain in the @ss. I went out with a chick in her late 20s last night, that went okay I suppose we will have to wait and see, but my gut tells me there is a 50-50 chance she'll go out with me again... This is after EXTREMELY high interest from her all week leading up to the date, it's a chemistry thing... nothing you can do about 20 something year old chicks and their hormones. I have another date with a 25 year old tomorrow, but every time I try to confirm things with her... nothing. This is after she BEGGED to see me.

This is how young chicks are... they have a slew of options, and they act like it. Nothing to get mad about... just how it is.

 

[resilient]

Well said, @RangerMIke.

Nothing new for seasoned DJs, yet one of key reminders we need to do when the first instinct is to over-analyze why she is semi-ghosting is remember well that her hot/cold behavior is in direct respondance to her abundant options.

If she had zero options she’s on you like white on rice. If she has a barrel of options... she’ll be hesitant and slow to accept and follow-through on the date.

Age plays a huge factor into her abundant capabilities. That helps us calibrate our own investment into the set/plate.

 

[BeExcellent]

Don't discount the fact that women often evaluate men on how they act to determine whether or not a man likes a woman (beyond sex). Before texting this was waiting to see, did he call or not. Now its does he text or not. Too much radio silence tells a woman you DON'T like her (beyond sex). Too much contact says you are desperate. Much of what I observe around here is lack of calibration to what is appropriate, AKA the sweet spot. If you know what the sweet spot is as far as contact goes, you're killing it with girls.

 

[marmel75]

Don't discount the fact that women often evaluate men on how they act to determine whether or not a man likes a woman (beyond sex). Before texting this was waiting to see, did he call or not. Now its does he text or not. Too much radio silence tells a woman you DON'T like her (beyond sex). Too much contact says you are desperate. Much of what I observe around here is lack of calibration to what is appropriate, AKA the sweet spot. If you know what the sweet spot is as far as contact goes, you're killing it with girls.

And you'll mostly find that's more contact than you think. While you are "playing it cool" another guy is "playing it right".

Guess who's c0ck is getting sucked tomorrow night?

Not yours.

 

[foreverAFC]

i think most women expect men to act like AFCs so you were just acting the way most guys do that like them and a lot of women like this, even if they may get tired of it later on

ive seen lots of AFC shlt actually work, the greatest example i ever saw was my friend was about to take this girl home at a party we were at, and this other AFC dude who had been in love with her for years started crying in front of her and begging her not to go home with my friend because he was so in love with her, it was the weakest thing i had ever seen in my life but not only did they girl end up not going home with my friend and staying with the weeping AFC, they ended up dating for a really long time after that lol....

 

[ubercat]

So what. This guy has no self respect.

Crying over a girl you haven't even slept with is just over investment in your own fantasies. I like the old pua idea of pebbles. When you are teasing them you set up a couple of private jokes. You can drop them into conversation and then just ask them out. You've established your fun guy cred And not got bogged in bloody wall of text exchanges.

And a bit of no contact is a good thing. Some nights I just ignore my girlfriend's messages. I set that up in the beginning by telling her I'm not a big messaging guy. And I stick to that. Of course if it's something important I reply there's no need to be an arsehole but equally you don't want to wear the phone as a Leash.

But I agree in early dating you do have to pay them attention just make sure it's split between multiple girls and then you won't have time to get needy with any one of them. Simples.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Dating is like running a business: you have to know your target demographic. If it's young chicks who are into riding the carousel, you'd want to dust off your DJ skills. If you are going after women in their 30's who have just gotten off the carousel and are desperately looking for someone they can lock up in a long-term relationship before ether hit the wall, a different approach is called for.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Maybe the girls you banged sensed more authenticity. Don't act one way or another. Be it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

It's because women in their 30s are finally starting to understand that they're not god's gift to mankind.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Don't discount the fact that women often evaluate men on how they act to determine whether or not a man likes a woman (beyond sex). Before texting this was waiting to see, did he call or not. Now its does he text or not. Too much radio silence tells a woman you DON'T like her (beyond sex). Too much contact says you are desperate. Much of what I observe around here is lack of calibration to what is appropriate, AKA the sweet spot. If you know what the sweet spot is as far as contact goes, you're killing it with girls.

While I agree there's a sweet spot, anymore I text them when I want and when I feel is appropriate. If they're not feeling that, fine. We wouldn't get along long term anyway. Better to weed em out and find a girl who likes your life and your style then trying to appease to the masses.

 

[Urbanyst]

Women over 30 are insanely easy to get with. There is no game required there if you're a decent looking guy/decent job/in shape

Totally true.

The AFC is like an oasis to a used up woman who has stretched her vagina out over the years riding the carousel of c*ck. These ladies are usually happy to find someone who will let them get old, fat and nasty while still feeling lucky to be with them and putting up with all her nagging and mood swings lol.