BPH
Master Don Juan
My question would be what were you like before you lost your virginity and had this outlet with this woman?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Having a hard time controlling my libido
- Thread starter Lauel
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
RoadKing_Rabbit
Senior Don Juan
Yikes. I mean, there is something to be said for a woman who lacks a base level of willingness to make some effort to satiate that in a man. That doesn't sound like the case here.
I think I've only been with 3 people ever who were up to the challenge of being the one and only outlet for pressure release to say no more. In most of my STR/LTRs or other agreed upon commitments, I've definitely had to handle some of the business myself. I'm pretty certain that almost anyone I've been with longer than a month thought "NO WAY... AGAIN?!"
I'll give you a perspective that you might not have thought of before. Did it ever occur to you that by handling things on your own (so long as you're not stepping out/cheating) you are also considering her and allowing her the time to do certain things and have moments of solitude? Further, if it's the God thing, who is to say that God can't make people this way? Sure, there is more to life than effing, but I don't think this makes you an "F" boy. That's uncalled for. It could also be considered abusive. I wouldn't allow someone to talk to me that way.
An F-Boy is someone who has sex and is presumably interested in nothing else from a woman. I don't consider eff boys to be immoral either, but that's a discussion aside from your thread. You're obviously not an F-boy. I'm catching some indicators of incompatibility here. And not just on account of your libido and hormone levels. lol Channeling energies elsewhere is never a bad idea, but you've got to be careful not to suppress who you are. You'll wind up self sabotaging yourself into a depressive funk and quite possibly never making it back out.
All in all, you shouldn't be in a relationship where you are walking on eggshells with each other or where one person or both feel like they're made to feel it's wrong for them to be who they are. Yes, you should be able to enjoy other things in life, but you also shouldn't be made to feel like the only time you're getting 'needs fulfilled' is in the ballpark of being forceful or coercive. A DJ wants good game and willing, a r@pist wants unwilling. And if any woman considers a man to be (cringe word alert) 'r@pey' she isn't worth a dollar stores' pair of socks.
Sounds harsh, but if you're being honest about it, it's not in your best interest or the ladies to try to sweep this under the rug. It's only going to persist with you being 'caught' or her seeing images or bookmarks. It'll be boundary issue after boundary issue and will wind up making BOTH of you feel worse about yourselves. It's never a bad time to have an honest discussion with her about it. If she's not cool with you having a swimsuit edition of sports illustrated (Not going to mention/advocate certain sites or W/E) AND she's also not cool with exploring new things to try (what kind of woman honestly doesn't want to? I mean SERIOUSLY? You can't be in denial about the sales volume of 50 shades. lol) I'd say you're on borrowed time with her.
Lastly, what do you mean by "take a backseat?" Does this mean you're taking a backseat with the relationship or am I correct in thinking it means you've decided to put your sex drive in the backseat? You can keep your hand on the rubber band, but sooner or later you'll have to let it fly or it will snap. Best wishes man.
I think I've only been with 3 people ever who were up to the challenge of being the one and only outlet for pressure release to say no more. In most of my STR/LTRs or other agreed upon commitments, I've definitely had to handle some of the business myself. I'm pretty certain that almost anyone I've been with longer than a month thought "NO WAY... AGAIN?!"
I'll give you a perspective that you might not have thought of before. Did it ever occur to you that by handling things on your own (so long as you're not stepping out/cheating) you are also considering her and allowing her the time to do certain things and have moments of solitude? Further, if it's the God thing, who is to say that God can't make people this way? Sure, there is more to life than effing, but I don't think this makes you an "F" boy. That's uncalled for. It could also be considered abusive. I wouldn't allow someone to talk to me that way.
An F-Boy is someone who has sex and is presumably interested in nothing else from a woman. I don't consider eff boys to be immoral either, but that's a discussion aside from your thread. You're obviously not an F-boy. I'm catching some indicators of incompatibility here. And not just on account of your libido and hormone levels. lol Channeling energies elsewhere is never a bad idea, but you've got to be careful not to suppress who you are. You'll wind up self sabotaging yourself into a depressive funk and quite possibly never making it back out.
All in all, you shouldn't be in a relationship where you are walking on eggshells with each other or where one person or both feel like they're made to feel it's wrong for them to be who they are. Yes, you should be able to enjoy other things in life, but you also shouldn't be made to feel like the only time you're getting 'needs fulfilled' is in the ballpark of being forceful or coercive. A DJ wants good game and willing, a r@pist wants unwilling. And if any woman considers a man to be (cringe word alert) 'r@pey' she isn't worth a dollar stores' pair of socks.
Sounds harsh, but if you're being honest about it, it's not in your best interest or the ladies to try to sweep this under the rug. It's only going to persist with you being 'caught' or her seeing images or bookmarks. It'll be boundary issue after boundary issue and will wind up making BOTH of you feel worse about yourselves. It's never a bad time to have an honest discussion with her about it. If she's not cool with you having a swimsuit edition of sports illustrated (Not going to mention/advocate certain sites or W/E) AND she's also not cool with exploring new things to try (what kind of woman honestly doesn't want to? I mean SERIOUSLY? You can't be in denial about the sales volume of 50 shades. lol) I'd say you're on borrowed time with her.
Lastly, what do you mean by "take a backseat?" Does this mean you're taking a backseat with the relationship or am I correct in thinking it means you've decided to put your sex drive in the backseat? You can keep your hand on the rubber band, but sooner or later you'll have to let it fly or it will snap. Best wishes man.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
The next male dog I get is going to be named Libido, so I can tell everyone that I struggle to control him.
MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
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When I was in my 30s, I was talking to a fellow Passport Bro in his 50s - we were talking about this, and he said "it gets worse". The thing that escapes everyone's thinking is that in earlier times, there was always a woman around to get, and so it wasn't a problem.
