Having a GF is a pain in the ass

[Remulak]

It's like i can't even be real, I have to always be disinterested and not care or she loses interest. I have to constantly send mixed signals and shyt like that. Is this just part of the game or am I alone on this? I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on this because most of my friends with gfs don't do shyt for them and their gfs are obsessed.

 

[CORVETTE06]

once you have a girlfriend, there is no need to play games anymore. after you start seeing a girl for a while, you don't play games.

 

[Grandmaster Sexay]

Nevermind. Have a cigar.....

 

[Remulak]

yes and no to playing games, in the sense that you have to continue to flirt with other girls, be C&F every now and then, don't pick up all her phone calls, be nice sometimes and not others.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

In other words, do the exact same thing that got you there in the first place, and just add a little bit of "boyfriend" stuff in there.

 

[Jean Gab1]

It's like i can't even be real, I have to always be disinterested and not care or she loses interest. I have to constantly send mixed signals and shyt like that. Is this just part of the game or am I alone on this?

You're not alone man, I am on the same boat. The weird thing is my friends' gfs seem to be crazy about their bf no matter what they do; they could fart, acting goofy or whatever, their GF are just completly in love. With me, it just *doesn't* work, and I do not look worse than them, far from it. It has probably something to do with charisma though.

 

[Jariel]

Relax! A relationship should be enjoyable. If it's not and you seriously feel you need to keep playing games to maintain her interest, then you are better off single.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

If your girlfriend is a pain in the ass i think you better check the manufacturer to see if she came with the right parts

 

[Cod3r]

It's like i can't even be real, I have to always be disinterested and not care or she loses interest. I have to constantly send mixed signals and shyt like that. Is this just part of the game or am I alone on this? I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on this because most of my friends with gfs don't do shyt for them and their gfs are obsessed.

You shouldn't be in a relationship then... If you can't be real, stay single.


-COd3r

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

It's like i can't even be real,

Mmmmm.
You either need to drop this girl and find one who is attracted to the real you or the real you needs to become the you that attracts this girl.

Know what I'm saying?

A real relationship is easy and fun and nice because you just have to be you.
It's not complicated. There is no need for strategy or games or tactics.

to reiterate:

Date girls attracted to the real you or make the real you the you that attracts the girls you wanna date.



Trust me, this makes life alot less miserable.

 

[Soapz]

Well, this just shows you have low self esteem. You don't believe a girl would like you (even if its your GF) if you stop playing games and start being yourself.

Dude, imagine if you were to get married. Would you keep up this "game" stuff for the rest of your life?!?!?! I certainly hope not.

And to be honest, I don't think its congruently possible to show disinterest in a relationship because the very fact that you're her BF shows you're interested. Duh!

I agree with cod3r and Jariel: "If you can't be real, stay single."

All that "game" stuff is fake value. You gotta start giving her some REAL value.

 

[ScrewIt]

If you want to maintain the control of the relationship you're doing a good job. The one who's capable of walking away from it is the one with power. But relationships shouldnt be forced and you shouldnt be fighting yourself.

There are great relationships that work where both parties take part in their share. They are undoubtedly in their comfort zone, but you have to reach that point eventually.

If you're struggling to keep the relationship working, then you're better off being single. Especially if your gf is looking to bf upgrade the instant you lose your mystery.

It takes 2 to tango

 

[Delta]

it seems like original post is on the money. you're literally "sleeping with the enemy".

the enjoyment that you get out of it is fvcking. but the head games and games in general need to continue.

the moment you drop your guard is the moment things start falling apart. they say that movies are artificial because you can see reality for free. well, same thing with relationships. we're all in it for the smoke and mirrors. we can get reality for free.

i admit i don't have a lot of experience but it seems to me that the fantasy we have of women is immature precisely because it does not take into account what a real PAIN IN THE ASS an ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP IS.

you're in it because you get SOMETHING out of it. but you don't get to fvck anytime you want (in fact, at times you have to pull back when you'd just wish she'd shut the fvck up and blow you), you have to deal with a likely mercurial personality if she's hot and it costs you in terms of time, energy, stress and money.

the immature thing is expecting the sex kitten and playboy bunny who languors in the bed in perfume and lingerie diddling and fondling herself until we get home from work.

the mature realization is that she is a human being and that means that like most real people you know, she's a fvcking pain in the a$$.

delta

 

[Soapz]

^^^

I feel so sorry for you.

 

[Delta]

haha.

alright polyanna - hope your outcomes are rosy enough to merit such sentiment.

delta

 

[Soapz]

Don't get me wrong, I agree with you when you say its immature to think women will be the playboy sex kittens some of us may desire (but thats not to say these women don't exist- just one in a trillion). Women and relationships certinaly AREN'T perfect, but they certainly don't have to be a pain in the arse! Why on earth would you want a girl in the first place if they were?

"and that means that like most real people you know, she's a fvcking pain in the a$$."- Delta

I certainly don't think most people I know are a pain in the arse. It seems like you think only unhappy, pessimistic a$$holes are "real." Everyone thats happy, must be "fake." I can't change your beliefs, but I personally don't think having an "everyone's an a$$holes" mentality would make me a more joyful, enlightened person.

But then again, I'm not in a relationship just for sex. I actually LIKE my girlfriend, and I enjoy simply being with her. You don't seem to share that passion.

Lol, my outcomes right now are quite rosy- but who know? Maybe time will prove me wrong. Would be strange if I came back here a year or two later with a post "All women are b*tches." But for now, I don't see that happening.

G'luck!

 

[Delta]

but they certainly don't have to be a pain in the arse! Why on earth would you want a girl in the first place if they were?

to fvck. biological imperative. if marriage didn't involve sex, honestly, who in the world would get married? who in the world would bother to date? heck, if i didn't want to fvck so bad, i could concentrate on important things like getting a ps3 for fvck's sake!

for me, if it came down to it, if i could just fvck hot chicks whenever i needed, i wouldn't actually need their companionship. i've got friends and pets for other things. where the rubber meets the road, i'll deal with it so i can fvck.

i guess i'd like someone to be more to me. but i'm very much questioning the degree of intimacy there actually can be between a man and woman before each is repulsed. it is the dream of the afc that the girl friend or wife becomes also the best friends. but honestly, i don't think that there can even exist that much self disclosure. it's about putting up strategic, LOAD BEARING WALLS!

and that's the honest truth of it for me i think.

delta

p.s.1 what i mean about pain in the a$$ - reality of it is that people are fvcked up. everybody. in a more g-rated way, people are flawed. and not just in the sense that we say that and accept it as true on some philosophical level - i mean it in a very REAL, EVERYDAY, kind of way. we really are. and to the extent that we have some relationships that are ok, it means that the necessary load bearing walls are in place. if we all saw each other's psyches naked and raw without the makeup, we'd all run screaming from each other at full clip.

p.s.2 do a search here for "nightline" or "nbc"... i talk about something i saw on tv and it is an even ROSIER view of relationships if you can believe it.

 

[mrRuckus]

So don't have a girlfriend, smarty pants.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Well, this just shows you have low self esteem. You don't believe a girl would like you (even if its your GF) if you stop playing games and start being yourself.

Dude, imagine if you were to get married. Would you keep up this "game" stuff for the rest of your life?!?!?! I certainly hope not.

And to be honest, I don't think its congruently possible to show disinterest in a relationship because the very fact that you're her BF shows you're interested. Duh!

I agree with cod3r and Jariel: "If you can't be real, stay single."

All that "game" stuff is fake value. You gotta start giving her some REAL value.

He doesnt have low self esteem, he just knows that his girl loses interest when hes himself. If he stays with her then he has low self esteem, or the sex is that damm good lol.

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ It's not insecurity, its fear...

Anyway Delta, usually I enjoy your posts, but our views on relationships are completely different, people only get in relationships for sex?? Why would a LTR be a premise for sex ?? I'm sure you and many other people here and out in the world can have plenty of sex without getting involved in a LTR... I certaiinly had no problem getting sex when I was single...

People seek relationships because its human to want to share and grow emotionally with a person of the opposite sex. You said it yourself you have no experience in the field, so really your opinions are equivalent to trash (no offense). I've been in enough bad ones and one very good one (current) that I can properly say you are very mistaken...

LTR - pain in the arse ?? That's just ridiculous, if that's the case get out !


-Cod3r