Having a bit of a problem with a girl..

[hfxchef]

Hey guys.

Alright, so I've known this girl for about 1 and a half months. I met her in my culinary class, and I was extremely attracted to her. She's different - she tends to hang out with more guys then girls - something that bugs me in a way, but her personality is what truly shines.

Anyways, her and I flirt quite a bit - at least I think it's flirting. She'll turn around in class and smile at me, she'll punch me (playfully), etc.

So I'm getting all of these signs that she's liking me - and she just recently dumped her boyfriend, so I guess I'm all set. Unfortunately, this is not the case, and it's most likely my fault. I asked her if she wanted to go out, and she said yes, so we planned the date for Friday night. Friday comes along and she then tells me that she has to babysit her brother, so we cancel the date. I ask her if she wants to hang out on Sunday instead.. she says no, she can't. I'm starting to get the feeling that she's not interested - or maybe she's truly busy.

So I ask her what's going on - and she explained it all to me. She's scared to lose her current friends, so she hangs out with them instead (BULL****!)

This is the challenge, guys. She's my culinary partner (we were paired up in class) and (get a load of this), we work together!

I think I'm doing everything right, with the exception of a couple of things:

1.) I need to stop calling her. I call her once a day, and we just chat. That's not good because I'm going to end up being her friend (I'm well already going down that road). Hell, after work she said to me, "So when are you going to call me, since you've called me everyday.. or will you not call me today? (what the hell does that translate to?)

2.) I'm asking her to hang out too much..

Also, she said this to me today at work.. she said that I was "hard to figure out," and that she can figure "most" guys out. I asked her if this was a bad or a good thing.. she says it's a good thing for me. Uhhh.. ok?

Any tips you guys can give me? Thanks.

 

[dadood]

one word: oneitis

 

[hfxchef]

What?

 

[Alphathree]

" I'm doing everything right"

That's an interesting use of the terms 'everything' and 'right'. You might want to replace the former with 'nothing' or perhaps the latter with 'wrong', but don't replace both.

Look, you're a dork and you need to fix that. You:

- are too available, which communicates low status
- call too often, which communicates low status
- failed her tests by placing her value above yours, communicating low status
- will not succeed with this girl in the long term, even if you somehow luck out in the short term, because you have no clue what you're doing

AND

- women are not attracted to low status males
- the above points have proven to her that you are a low status male

THEREFORE

- I suggest that you forget about this girl and start reading posts by, say, Pook, or go to DoubleYourDating.Com, or MysteryMethod.com, or Real Social Dynamics, or WHEREVER, and undorkify yourself.

Good luck.

P.S. Who said attraction wasn't logical!?

 

[hfxchef]

Alright, so I just have to back off of her totally?

It's hard, though. We're paired up together and we work in the same place.

I'm not a dork, just extremely unexperienced with females.

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by hfxchef
I'm not a dork, just extremely unexperienced with females.

Excuse me while I go laugh my rear end off.

EDIT: Don't "back off her completely", just treat her like you'd treat one of your guy friends. If you did that from the start you'd be better off anyway. Anyway, start doing this but otherwise forget about her and find other girls. If you somehow magically find your balls in the mean time, she'll let you know when she notices.