Have I screwed it up?

[whichonespink]

I'm new to the site and finally decided to join and seek some friendly advice.

I am a bouncer at a bar on a college campus so I get my fair share of girls hitting on me. Usually they are drunk so I just dismiss them and go about doing my job. But last week there was a really hot girl who came up to me and started talking. I deemed her very attractive and most importantly I felt that she wasn't drunk. She was there with a few girlfriends and a few guys...one of them clearly jealous that she was talking to me...anyway before she leaves she ends up giving me her number (which i did not ask for) and makes me swear to her that I will call. I promise her that I will call and wait till mon night to do it. (we met on a sat.). When I call her she says she was just talking about me and is kinda giggiling so I think I'm in. Anyway, she seems like shes running around the house by the tone of her voice and says she was on her way out the door but will call me back to make plans. Two days go by and I don't hear from her so I text her "are you coming in town this weekend?" (she lives like 60 miles away) after 2 hours i get a txt back saying "umm I think so. It's kinda still up in the air but Im pretty sure that we are. sorry i havent got a chance to call you back. ive gotten a lil sick. lol"....so i txt her back "thats ok i understand. im going to work out right now, but i'll call you later toninight. hopefully we can make plans for the weekend."....so i follow through on my promise and call her later that night...she doesnt answer....it's been 4 days now and i havent heard from her....can anybody tell me what the **** is going on? was i making myself too available?

 

[Nightwing]

I'm new to the site and finally decided to join and seek some friendly advice.

I am a bouncer at a bar on a college campus so I get my fair share of girls hitting on me. Usually they are drunk so I just dismiss them and go about doing my job. But last week there was a really hot girl who came up to me and started talking. I deemed her very attractive and most importantly I felt that she wasn't drunk. She was there with a few girlfriends and a few guys...one of them clearly jealous that she was talking to me...anyway before she leaves she ends up giving me her number (which i did not ask for) and makes me swear to her that I will call. I promise her that I will call and wait till mon night to do it. (we met on a sat.). When I call her she says she was just talking about me and is kinda giggiling so I think I'm in. Anyway, she seems like shes running around the house by the tone of her voice and says she was on her way out the door but will call me back to make plans. Two days go by and I don't hear from her so I text her "are you coming in town this weekend?" (she lives like 60 miles away) after 2 hours i get a txt back saying "umm I think so. It's kinda still up in the air but Im pretty sure that we are. sorry i havent got a chance to call you back. ive gotten a lil sick. lol"....so i txt her back "thats ok i understand. im going to work out right now, but i'll call you later toninight. hopefully we can make plans for the weekend."....so i follow through on my promise and call her later that night...she doesnt answer....it's been 4 days now and i havent heard from her....can anybody tell me what the **** is going on? was i making myself too available?

ATTENTION *****!!!!! I'm sure you get hit on a lot by the chicks as a bouncer. They want you to get them in the club for free!!!! Don't worry about her a$$, she's 60 miles away which means she's got guys in her own area that she's dating. I guarantee you, you're the last person on her mind.

The only purpose you serve is to give her and her GF's free admission into the club and probably free drinks too.

The best thing you can do is throw her number away and move on.

 

[whichonespink]

haha yeah. i know all about the wanting free sh*t...which is why i generally pay no attention to the sl*ts that are in the place. but it seemd like she was generally attracted to me i dunno...there are 4 other bouncers in the place and i came in as part of the later shift so the place was already open when i walked in the door and from the moment i walked in i saw her looking at me...i dunno it just seemed different.

 

[Nightwing]

haha yeah. i know all about the wanting free sh*t...which is why i generally pay no attention to the sl*ts that are in the place. but it seemd like she was generally attracted to me i dunno...there are 4 other bouncers in the place and i came in as part of the later shift so the place was already open when i walked in the door and from the moment i walked in i saw her looking at me...i dunno it just seemed different.

The best thing to do is just treat her like another face in the crowd the next time she comes around your area.

 

[whichonespink]

She was just so hot. I'm pissed at myself for falling for her sh*t i guess. And Im also pissed at her. Why would she be all over me one night begging me for attention then suddendly change her mind? When Im at work I pride myself on taking girls like her down a peg. Anyway, I was hoping that she would call me back, but thinking about it now, it's probably more likely that she won't.

 

[Obsidian]

damn, that sucks. I was going to say she's probably a hor since she approached you and acted so flaky. But after reading Nightwing's response, I think he's probably right. You'd better not start doing that b1tch any favors until she starts doing a few for you.

You did things alright (as in, not terribly), but you could use some improvements. Your text language sounded kinda weak. "Hopefully...we can...make plans...". I mean, come on. The word "hopefully" alone betrays too much interest, and the rest of it just isn't direct enough. Read the tip on the front of the site about turning your requests into commands, and you'll get the idea. Try to sound more manly when you suggest/demand action.

Moreover, why did you start texting her to begin with? Texting is for women. You can use it to send provacative teasing msgs, but if the situation demands real communication then you ought to call.

she...says she...will call me back to make plans.

Thirdly, why did you let her get away with this? Women can't lead relationships, or anything else for that matter! Be a man and take charge. You need to have something in mind to DO before you call, and a couple of different times when it would be ideal for YOU to do it.

I can understand messing up in this area. I'm pretty bad with phones myself; I always get kinda nervous talking in them (kind of a phobia ). But your mistakes sound like they come more from a lack of assertiveness and manliness than from nervousness.

 

[Obsidian]

Anyway, I was hoping that she would call me back, but thinking about it now, it's probably more likely that she won't.

Don't worry about it. You're the bouncer; you can get plenty of other attractive girls if you set your mind to it. Start reading the Book of Pook if you haven't yet.

 

[whichonespink]

You guys are right. I wish I had discovered this site before this. I've only been a bouncer for a little over a month. I've never had much much experiance in dating and all these games. So to go from getting pretty much no girls to having the hottest of the hot approach me is still taking some getting used to.

So Obsidian are you saying that I shouldnt have let her hang up on me on that note? what should have I said?..."no dont worry about it. i'll call you when i get the time?"

 

[Nightwing]

You guys are right. I wish I had discovered this site before this. I've only been a bouncer for a little over a month. I've never had much much experiance in dating and all these games. So to go from getting pretty much no girls to having the hottest of the hot approach me is still taking some getting used to.

If she's a hot girl, then she knows what she's doing. Especially in a club setting, you have chicks doing this all the time. To her, you're just a "hook up" for her and her GF's the next time she is in your area. The best thing to do is to trash her number and treat her like another face in the crowd.

 

[Nightwing]

Don't worry about it. You're the bouncer; you can get plenty of other attractive girls if you set your mind to it. Start reading the Book of Pook if you haven't yet.

Whichonespink, listen to this. Attractive chicks are a dime a dozen, don't even sweat this girl.

 

[whichonespink]

If she's a hot girl, then she knows what she's doing. Especially in a club setting, you have chicks doing this all the time. To her, you're just a "hook up" for her and her GF's the next time she is in your area. The best thing to do is to trash her number and treat her like another face in the crowd.

yeah, ive wondered what to do next time i see her in there. it prob wont be for a while cause shes in the guard and going to hawaii or something. i dont want to be outright mean to her, even though it is completly within my power to do it. i figure i'll just not do any favors for her.

 

[Nightwing]

yeah, ive wondered what to do next time i see her in there. it prob wont be for a while cause shes in the guard and going to hawaii or something. i dont want to be outright mean to her, even though it is completly within my power to do it. i figure i'll just not do any favors for her.

Hawaii is a hotspot to pull all her "hotgirl tactics". You better believe that she'll be doing it there too.

I agree with you on not being mean to her. Ignoring her completely is your best bet. Once again, she's just another face.