"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Have I been friend zoned? Feel like her emotional sponge

Savintheworld

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Before two weeks ago, the last time I saw a friend of mine who I have had a crush on for awhile was 6 months. I had been out of the country. She never used to flirt with me, but when we saw each other after 6 months apart, I could tell she was nervous. As we walked she kept cracking her knuckles. We had gone out on a date when we first met 8 months ago. Agreed there wasn't chemistry at the time and decided to stay friends. We did just that and still saw eac other...even though I always still had feelings for her.

That night she touched my arm a lot when she talked to me and did that playful hit/tap thing women do sometimes. She's never done that before.

Another friend of mine had met us where we were at. This friend was a woman. She had left to meet her husband, and while she was gone, the girl in question had suggested we simply ditch her and take the train to Chicago, where we would go on an adventure.

She had known all this time that I was leaving for Egypt in 3 days. She kept saying she did not want me to go and would miss me. Even now, I get facebook messages from her saying how much she misses me, how she hears these songs that remind her of me, and how she wants me to "come home now". Other messages include:

-she may possibly be moving to new York and wants me to move there too
-she has lately been having heavy thoughts that she needs to share
-talks (possibly jokes, I don't know) about living in Chicago together and traveling the world. (she is envious of my traveling)
-she messages me about how she is feeling like she is going through a "quarter life crisis" and really wants to talk.
-she says she does not have a lot of friends she can talk to like she can with me
-she is making all these plans to do things together for when I return
-comments on how when she she saw me, she just felt so alive inside.

All this seems good I guess, but I kind of feel like an emotional sponge. Like she is sharing all this confidence with me because I'm just a really good friend. And I guess that too much confiding could lead to the friend zone. She even referred to me as "friend" one time in a message 'it's a great song my friend'.

I guess she has had me on her mind a lot, god knows she's been on mine.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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JPlaya

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I know I have the same problem, but don't over-analyze. It makes you feel more relaxed and better. If you have to think about it than you are probably are and you just need to move on with no hesitation.
 

SMS 48

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You think you got friend-zoned??? This girl wants your c0ck. WTF are you waiting for? Fukk her, and do it quick before she loses interest.
 

PapiChulo

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Well, she is definatly looking for a friend/girlfriend due to the crisis she is having. She is probably a nut case too. Seems like she friend-zoned you back then and you didn't quiet get the message. And now you are getting deeper and deeper..........
 

Diaforetikos

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Why are you being a p***y about this?? If you want her, stop being scared, man up, and tell her you still think shes cute.

YOU HAVE BALLS! That makes you a man. So act like one!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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SMS 48

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PapiChulo said:
Well, she is definatly looking for a friend/girlfriend due to the crisis she is having. She is probably a nut case too. Seems like she friend-zoned you back then and you didn't quiet get the message. And now you are getting deeper and deeper..........
None of my friends tell me they felt "so alive inside" when they saw me.
 

PapiChulo

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That's cause she is nuts.
 

Iceberg

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Diaforetikos said:
Why are you being a p***y about this?? If you want her, stop being scared, man up, and tell her you still think shes cute.

YOU HAVE BALLS! That makes you a man. So act like one!
"Balls" isn't telling a girl you think she's cute. It's grabbing her by the waist and kissing her.

I've never had to tell a girl that I think she's attractive. Showing her seems to get the idea across much better.
 

st_99

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Honestly, If you feel you've been fz'd then you probably have.

But, more importantly, sounds like you have oneitis and so bigger picture problems.

You may need beta bootcamp. But, i'm just guessing, i could be wrong.
 

Thundernuts

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okay.

Quit over analyzing this whole thing because your blowing it way out of proportion.

Look, you are either in one of two scenarios.

1. You are the 'bestfriend"- she blurts out crazy ass ideas that she knows will never happen but wouldn't mind if they did. She wants you and her to go places and wants you to help her live her dreams like a best friend would do.

problem- a real man helps, serves, and protects those within his circle. His close friends and family. This girl is not in that circle, so do actually do what she is suggesting is crazy

2. she wants you. She had an interest spark in you for whatever reason and is now realising that you are the man she wants to be with and instead of being coy she is being blunt.

problem- Women always play coy, there is like .1% who dont and they act very unatractive. Thing is if she actually has an attraction for you, regardless why, it wont last for forever.

My advice:
The only way to know whats really going is to let her know what you want. You got to respond to her touching with your own touching. When women converse with eachother, they are feeling eachother up, physcologically as well as physically sometimes. Now keep in mind you ARE in the friend zone. However, if you let her know you want to be more than friends, you will get out of the friend zone and either you will have the girl you've wanted at your side or you will no longer be the "emotional spunge" because she will know that you have an interest in her and will stop coming to you.

I think i covered the bases but correct me if i got it wrong. Hope everything works out in your favor man.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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nismo-4

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Stop over analyzing.

Make a move already. That's the only way you'll know if you're truly friendzoned.

Getting off your ass and handling your business is the best thing that is for you. That's my verdict.

Case closed. Now go get her. :rockon:
 
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