My teacher told me he talked to my sister and I wasn't really paying much attention, until he told me that he can sense that my sister is more outgoing. I just hated the way he view me as and lot of girls would say that im shy. I just wanted to know in general is it possible loosing your shyness...I really want to work on that this weekend and I just need some advice on this. This week I was planning on going up to this hot chick and asked if she wanted to hangout sometime but dam I get so nervous and make excuses for not doing it. Tomorrow is my last day to do this and I try to put myself in the right mindset but when I see her I just loose my positive mindset.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Hate being shy
- Thread starter Jamal
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Dedication
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2008
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Dedication: Do not try to bend the shyness; that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.
Jamal: What truth?
Dedication: There is no shy.
Jamal: There is no shy?
Dedication: Then you will see, it is not the shyness that bends, it is only yourself.
Jamal: What truth?
Dedication: There is no shy.
Jamal: There is no shy?
Dedication: Then you will see, it is not the shyness that bends, it is only yourself.
It's possible to do anything you set your mind to, you just gotta have the determination.Jamal said:My teacher told me he talked to my sister and I wasn't really paying much attention, until he told me that he can sense that my sister is more outgoing. I just hated the way he view me as and lot of girls would say that im shy. I just wanted to know in general is it possible loosing your shyness...I really want to work on that this weekend and I just need some advice on this. This week I was planning on going up to this hot chick and asked if she wanted to hangout sometime but dam I get so nervous and make excuses for not doing it. Tomorrow is my last day to do this and I try to put myself in the right mindset but when I see her I just loose my positive mindset.
I've somewhat had this problem, but mostly in school - I'm more outgoing out of school, but I'm working on it in school and I'm starting to get some really good results.
I suggest you start talking to more people, it can be ANYONE (even your teachers). Preferably you should talk to girls, but if you just don't feel comfortable yet start talking to other people. Start with baby steps.
As for the girl you want to ask out, you always feel bad because you expect an outcome. You shouldn't care about the outcame and just tell yourself fvck it.
Seems like you're beginning to try and get out of your shell. If I were you, I wouldn't try asking out any girls right now, especially if you don't know them, because that's one giant leap, when you're still only doing your baby steps. Getting rejected whilst you're just beginning will likely just destroy your confidence. Baby steps right now. Focus on being more outgoing and socialising with people around you. Slowly build up your confidence. This is a long process and you should not just rush into it expecting instant results. Confidence can sometimes take years to build up.Jamal said:My teacher told me he talked to my sister and I wasn't really paying much attention, until he told me that he can sense that my sister is more outgoing. I just hated the way he view me as and lot of girls would say that im shy. I just wanted to know in general is it possible loosing your shyness...I really want to work on that this weekend and I just need some advice on this. This week I was planning on going up to this hot chick and asked if she wanted to hangout sometime but dam I get so nervous and make excuses for not doing it. Tomorrow is my last day to do this and I try to put myself in the right mindset but when I see her I just loose my positive mindset.
jeffthechef
Master Don Juan
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- Jun 23, 2008
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people are only shy when they want to be accepted...specifically by society
so how do you fix your problem?
1. You conform to society's desire to control you and lead a life of constant suffering and short brief moments of happiness.
2. You reflect on the way you're living day to day and become satisfied with it. If you're not satisfied, then you simply make the changes you must until you are satisfied.
now if you're doing number 2, which i recommend, then you might ask...If i'm not satisfied because i'm not popular, then i must confrom to society to become popular. Not true because all the changes you must make will have to be internal changes....change your attitude, principles, and daily routine.
never change to fit the ideals of others.
i have become satisfied with my life...i'm motivated to do good in school...and recently have begun a campaign to increase my sat scores about 200-300 points...i got rid of my second generation of afc/oneitis...i've been able to use my intellectual capabilities to game girls
Make internal changes...After you're satisfied...what reason do you have to be shy? What left is there to be afraid of.
Shyness stems from a desire to be accepted.
so how do you fix your problem?
1. You conform to society's desire to control you and lead a life of constant suffering and short brief moments of happiness.
2. You reflect on the way you're living day to day and become satisfied with it. If you're not satisfied, then you simply make the changes you must until you are satisfied.
now if you're doing number 2, which i recommend, then you might ask...If i'm not satisfied because i'm not popular, then i must confrom to society to become popular. Not true because all the changes you must make will have to be internal changes....change your attitude, principles, and daily routine.
never change to fit the ideals of others.
i have become satisfied with my life...i'm motivated to do good in school...and recently have begun a campaign to increase my sat scores about 200-300 points...i got rid of my second generation of afc/oneitis...i've been able to use my intellectual capabilities to game girls
Make internal changes...After you're satisfied...what reason do you have to be shy? What left is there to be afraid of.
Shyness stems from a desire to be accepted.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Just start doing things your are uncomfortable with. You need to get outside of your comfort zone, that's where growth is. Start small at first. Say hi to people and smile. Then have little conversations. Work from there.
It can be done. I used to be way to scared to even think about rocking up at a part for a long time. Then I became somewhat of a party animal who was going out every weekend and people would be asking me if anythings on. It all started with taking action and doing something I was scared of.
It can be done. I used to be way to scared to even think about rocking up at a part for a long time. Then I became somewhat of a party animal who was going out every weekend and people would be asking me if anythings on. It all started with taking action and doing something I was scared of.