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Has suicide ever crossed any of your minds even though you would never do it?

BeExcellent

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Silent, cowardly and wicked abuse. Committing these acts against a child who has no idea what he is dealing with is disgusting.



Thats true. Also cognitive dissonance, post-traumatic stress disorder and a series of mechanisms to try to protect yourself or escape from distress.

The longer I stay away from it all, the more my mind becomes clear. I still have a lot of flashbacks, some somewhat painful insights. But it is as if I am rebuilding a new "self" within me. And it seems that my real "self" has been suppressed for all these years, to meet my father's illusory and impossible expectations.



It was 1 year now in May. A lot has changed for the better.

Professionally speaking: I had started a business in the area of designer, I ended up taking a job earlier this year. I acquired experience and now another company has made a better proposal. I will earn a little more, and I will acquire much more knowledge in this challenge. Despite wanting to have my own business, I found myself in a situation where I needed to at least pay my bills. So for a while I believe that I need to go through this, even to acquire more maturity. I broke my father's fallacy: "You will never be able to make money outside of my company. Do you really think anyone would hire you the way you are?"

On the personal side, I am becoming more assertive and confident. I'm not the most confident guy in the world, but I respect myself a lot more than I did before I left that. It is something that has been extremely important to me, as I lived in fear of displeasing others and often failed to say no in certain situations that I felt I was disrespecting myself. Funny that when you learn to say no ... People at first seem to get angry, but in the end they end up respecting you more. Not that I speak in an arrogant way ... I always try to be polite, even if I have to say no or disagree with something.



I have not yet lost the amount of weight I would like. I improved a little, but there is still a lot to work on in this regard. However, stress and depression are less frequent than before.

In terms of romantic life, I am choosing to be with women who feel a certain connection and who have values and principles aligned with mine. That thing about picking up and having sex with naughty women or anybody, I'm literally dropping it. Challenging, but when I spend my time with people I feel connected to, I also feel more respected.

The same goes for friendships.

I've been evolving a lot, but I still know that there is a lot to heal. Certain wounds still hurt and I believe that only time can soothe.
You were having a rough go a year or so ago. So pleased and happy you have progressed so well. I had a very emotionally cold narcissist mother. She never said “I love you” and she always said I was selfish (I was a child for crying out loud!) and she constantly said I would never amount to anything. If I failed at something she would gloat. Awful. But she herself was sexually abused and so she was legit fvcked up. There were times I thought of suicide. You bet. To escape and not feel that gnawing pain, the loneliness even in the company of others,

But like you I found the strength to bear up and get on with it. I developed in myself intrinsic self love. I relate ENTIRELY to the people pleasing behaviors. Like you are learning now I had to arrive at a place where I say No when that’s what I really want. I choose self respect and it feels good, solid to love myself in that way.

Also like you I seek connection in my relationships. Although I pick men who are scarred. I pick men with backgrounds similar to mine. These are damaged men with deep scars of their own. Those are often the ones who develop into players & playboys as a means of external validation. Narcissists themselves (which I am also accused of from time to time)...but in a way those are my people. And because we share similar wounds it creates deep bonds. Those are the men, screwed up as they are, who fall for me.

They don’t so much let me in as I recognize them for what they are. I see the deep pain & the wounds. I sneak into their soul before they realize I’m in. I healed myself and learned to love myself (as you are doing in your journey) and there is something in me that wants to help them learn to heal themselves. It is very difficult because often they are running from the pain.

Not realizing the only way to deal with it is to grapple with it.

I grapple with my pain. That is what life is. But I sleep well at night knowing I have loved myself and others each day. I am kind and do not hurl insults because I remember what it felt like to be invisible and be put down by my own mother. I cut her out of my life years ago. Best decision ever for me and for my children. Biggest HELL NO I ever said & did.

It has made me very very strong and resilient.

But I also find meaning in caring for others and in pouring myself out. It’s part of why I contribute here. It’s not about being a chick on a men’s forum. It’s about giving of myself for (hopefully) someone else’s benefit. It is part of what creates meaning in my own life. I try to give solid advice around here. I do my best in real life to be a great friend and good company. I love as unconditionally as I can (and that sometimes gets me in trouble) but I also tell the hard truths. That’s not always easy or pleasant. But


In the end all we have are the connections we build with others. Embrace it & love yourself.

I like what someone said about suicidal thoughts being a call to change. I find that resonates with a certain Truth. I needed to read that today.

Cheers Gents.
 

Lordeterra

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Just wondering if any of you guys ever think about suicide knowing deep down that you would never do it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?
everyone has. Hell you dont even have to be sad or depressed or hopeless, you can just want to end it randomly. But you keep pushing and fighting. One life man might as well see where it goes. Besides we all end up in the grave anyways.
 

TheCharmingGuy

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It’s like how little kids sometimes decide to run away from home. They almost never do it because most of them lack the real conviction and are only thinking about running away because they are mad at their parents, etc. I think everyone on this page can say that they at one point as a small child considered running away. But did any of you do it?
 

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DEEZEDBRAH

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Yes man, I am very ready.

Just broke up with my kinda GF last month. started lifting again and seeing gains. Focusing on my music.

Just had a 3 night alcohol/coke binge tho because of my birthday/pubs open again but now it’s ready for detox and spiritual healing. Deep down I hate amphetamines and alcohol anyways but it’s easy to get sucked in. Anyways I got myself a shroom grow kit, time for the babies to grow. it’s gonna be a good summer.
The biggest red flag is stopping lifting because of perma poon. I see this a lot in Gen Z fellas. Lift until they get a girl and they **** off the sec of a gf. It's contrary to the girl getting a bad as dude when she gets duped. It don't end well. Usually breeds resentment.

From McKenna to strausman among others, SETTING IS HUGE. Environment too. A breakup and a coke bender likely isn't the best way to a breakthrough but to each their own.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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A girl really fvcked me up in the head once. I didn’t really know what to feel and suicide crossed the mind. I was younger then and was letting her own me just a bit, she was quite manipulative. I still loved her though, even after I realized she was manipulating me. No, she didn’t cheat or lie to me, but she had me dangling on a string. Ever since I’ve been very dominant and never let a woman take control of my feelings that way.
Whenever I hear Rolo talk how he's saving lies I get LULZ. Saving cucks or betas who have really low T, so low they would cowardly kill themselves over a girl is the height of pathetic and stupidity. Good riddance. The gene pool is already full of morons. We don't need more.

Good on you. any so called man who is pathetic enough to end it over a girl got cucked for a reason. Darwin doesn't care. survival of the fittest. before daddy government and free money parasites were weeded out of existence off rip.
 

PRW63

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Just wondering if any of you guys ever think about suicide knowing deep down that you would never do it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?
Everytime the grass needs mowed,... or someone at work calls and says "my computer is slow, what's wrong?" I think I should combine my problems together by running over the computers with the mower then crash the mover head on into a tree to do myself in, but I don't think the mower is fast enough.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Just wondering if any of you guys ever think about suicide knowing deep down that you would never do it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?
Yes. In my younger days.

Nowadays, it's more about studying it and researching it.

What drove you to ask this question exactly? Like many fine men here, if it's an issue for you feel free to DM me. We are all here (at least most of us) to build each other up and share perspectives as different as they may seem.

Modern Man Advice
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Why would you ask about this here, all your gonna get is the regular dip**** muchismo exhibited across 90% of this forum, either speak to a professional or do not.
 

Realthangpoon

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The biggest red flag is stopping lifting because of perma poon. I see this a lot in Gen Z fellas. Lift until they get a girl and they **** off the sec of a gf. It's contrary to the girl getting a bad as dude when she gets duped. It don't end well. Usually breeds resentment.

From McKenna to strausman among others, SETTING IS HUGE. Environment too. A breakup and a coke bender likely isn't the best way to a breakthrough but to each their own.
I stopped lifting long before I got with her though, I’d just been lazy overall. It’s incredible how much better you feel when you lift. It’s one of these things you just have to do in life as a man.
 

TheFinalLine

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If anyone ever says that the idea didn’t at least pass through his mind…he’s a fukking liar. Or a pathetically sheltered maggot.

It doesn’t matter where the thought comes from. A woman, a really bad sickness, a massive road rash from dumping your bike at 80 mph, being fired from a career long worked for, etc.

The important thing is to use it as a springboard to dig yourself out.
 

Bible_Belt

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In the United states, we spend half of our total healthcare resources on patients who are in their last six months of life, and obviously they fvcking die anyway. There is a lot of money made in convincing people to hold on when they should be letting go.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I stopped lifting long before I got with her though, I’d just been lazy overall. It’s incredible how much better you feel when you lift. It’s one of these things you just have to do in life as a man.
Get back on the grind playboy. I know it's hard. there are tons of parks and hills to run. I am thinking about getting into hiking and cycling or rowing. it only gets harder with time. Less mobility. Less energy in elderly. The same motivation to lift blends into other areas of life. The alternative being cuckd. spectator mode. bench warmer.

Best way to get over a girl is to get under a new 1. You got this playboy.
 

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NeoKortex

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Like the poster before talking about tinnitus there are chronic illnesses that make life really hard and miserable.
I got two of them and although iam better now and learned to live with it i can understand people comitting suicide over that.
 

corrector

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Just wondering if any of you guys ever think about suicide knowing deep down that you would never do it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?
When I was younger, like in my 20s and I knew I may have made some bad decisions or my life turned some sort of direction where I knew I was going to be screwed the rest of my life. However, I've long made peace with everything and my situation overall has improved compared to where I was in my 20s. I think this stuff hits you worst in your mid-twenties if you are not getting the momentum in life you are hoping for and you don't have a gf. Its that age where you either make it or break it for the rest of your life. I'm probably still paying for any bad decisions I made in my early 20s. As I got older then I got more stoic.
 

Blacksheep

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You were having a rough go a year or so ago. So pleased and happy you have progressed so well. I had a very emotionally cold narcissist mother. She never said “I love you” and she always said I was selfish (I was a child for crying out loud!) and she constantly said I would never amount to anything. If I failed at something she would gloat. Awful. But she herself was sexually abused and so she was legit fvcked up. There were times I thought of suicide. You bet. To escape and not feel that gnawing pain, the loneliness even in the company of others,

But like you I found the strength to bear up and get on with it. I developed in myself intrinsic self love. I relate ENTIRELY to the people pleasing behaviors. Like you are learning now I had to arrive at a place where I say No when that’s what I really want. I choose self respect and it feels good, solid to love myself in that way.

Also like you I seek connection in my relationships. Although I pick men who are scarred. I pick men with backgrounds similar to mine. These are damaged men with deep scars of their own. Those are often the ones who develop into players & playboys as a means of external validation. Narcissists themselves (which I am also accused of from time to time)...but in a way those are my people. And because we share similar wounds it creates deep bonds. Those are the men, screwed up as they are, who fall for me.

They don’t so much let me in as I recognize them for what they are. I see the deep pain & the wounds. I sneak into their soul before they realize I’m in. I healed myself and learned to love myself (as you are doing in your journey) and there is something in me that wants to help them learn to heal themselves. It is very difficult because often they are running from the pain.

Not realizing the only way to deal with it is to grapple with it.

I grapple with my pain. That is what life is. But I sleep well at night knowing I have loved myself and others each day. I am kind and do not hurl insults because I remember what it felt like to be invisible and be put down by my own mother. I cut her out of my life years ago. Best decision ever for me and for my children. Biggest HELL NO I ever said & did.

It has made me very very strong and resilient.

But I also find meaning in caring for others and in pouring myself out. It’s part of why I contribute here. It’s not about being a chick on a men’s forum. It’s about giving of myself for (hopefully) someone else’s benefit. It is part of what creates meaning in my own life. I try to give solid advice around here. I do my best in real life to be a great friend and good company. I love as unconditionally as I can (and that sometimes gets me in trouble) but I also tell the hard truths. That’s not always easy or pleasant. But


In the end all we have are the connections we build with others. Embrace it & love yourself.

I like what someone said about suicidal thoughts being a call to change. I find that resonates with a certain Truth. I needed to read that today.

Cheers Gents.
Very happy to know that you also got through that and went away from that abusive relationship with your mother! Congratulations! :)

And yes, the most important thing we can do to ourselves is self love and self respect.

Keep being this good person! You have a great energy!

Wish you all the best! :)
 

dark god

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Just wondering if any of you guys ever think about suicide knowing deep down that you would never do it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?
When I found out my son wasnt mine yes
 
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