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Has suicide ever crossed any of your minds even though you would never do it?

DEEZEDBRAH

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I had this feeling of gratitude and being alive again after a shroom trip about 10 years ago. I was a teenager and a girl just ****ed me over. Took some shrooms and had a very bad experience that turned out to be very profound. During that 5 hr trip I was in the deepest hole I’d been in but I came on the other side just being grateful for being alive. Really strong experience.
I got knocked on my as several times. it's definitely no joke or Game. stuck in a Bardo several times. read the Tibetan book of the dead. imagine garden of eden. luxury nature and fresh fruit. take it and flip up it upside down. the magets the rotting and the polar contrast. it's a tight rope. what Peterson talks about chaos and order.

Approaching absurd amounts of women and pulling. women are very emotional and many aren't oriented right. fellas need to detox and dare I say disassociate from women and world a great deal. Or else lulz!

It can be a bumpy ride.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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There are numerous examples of men who are players or serial monogamists coping with feelings of loneliness after age 30-35, as most of his social circle will be married by then and he won't have a lot of regular male friends. A lot of men seek traditional monogamous marriage as a way of coping with those feelings and getting the illusionary high of a permanent relationship. It often does not end well for men in those situations.

The lifestyle of being of player or generally opting for shorter term monogamous relatiosnhips without marriage and without having kids can be emotionally challenging.
There is a troy Francis collaboration with James Marshall. James argues his predisposition to game and his life work was significantly caused by past traumas and shedding the karma or trying to anyway.

I started this process with the end in mind. After seeing what's out there, I cannot fathom the idea of old order group think in monogamy or marriage. Never mind children or something else.

Ironically enough, I don't see any point of monogamy without the end pursuit of family and children.
 

Hank Moody

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Just wondering if any of you guys ever think about suicide knowing deep down that you would never do it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?
Suicide isn't the answer, no matter how bad things get.

You are loved, even if it doesn't feel like it in a certain moment.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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It happened to me a lot of times. But I've been abused for such a long time since a child. A perverse narcissistic abuse, that only the one who went through it can feel what is it like.

There is a time that the pain is so much, that you feel there is no place to run. This is when it became dangerous, cause it causes a cold sensation and you stop feeling afraid of it. But in fact, he/she doesn't want to do that. But constantly suffering from something or being depressed can lead to that. That's why it's important to seek for a professional to help you.
You probably have gone through the most traumatic experiences of anyone on this website. Having your parents use you to fuel their narcissm and greed is about as low as you can go.

Like some folks here said that can be T levels down. I would say it is way more than that and it requires an investigation in any field of a person's life (psychologically, neurochemistry, environment, traumas, drug abuse, hormones...) to find what can be leading to that. Most of the time those traumas can be psychological issues. But it can also be a physical or neurochemistry issue.
That "powerless" and constantly "violated" position that your parents had you forced into, WOULD lower T. It would raise stress and cortisol. It would do the opposite of validating a strong masculine image. It would get you into expecting bad outcomes. Low self esteem, incredible amounts of self doubt. Loss of hope. Etc.

By my experience: I had very dark moments in my life (I was a victim of abuse, but I didn't allow it to consume me, I fight to get out of it) and in some dark moments, I became very near to Death (not only mentally). What I can say is that there was so much pain in those moments, I wanted to be alive, but I couldn't stay in that pain, and I wasn't finding a way to stop it. So in that desperate moments, that sounded to be the only solution. But it wasn't. There is always a light after the storm.

What made me strong was recognizing my own weakness and seeking help. We are humans, we are not perfect and we can only become strong by facing our weaknesses. You don't arrive at the gym with tons of muscle, you build it. That's the same with our minds.
How long has it been since you have been outside of your parents clutches and their reach? What things do you think were most important in building your self since? Do you have any new boundaries now that you are out of their life that you maintain and can never be broken?

If you or anyone here are struggling with depression or those kinds of thoughts, don't be afraid of seeking help. This is serious and you should find a professional to help you with that.

And this is also important: stay around and find support for those who love you and accept you by who you are. Stay away from the Ignorant ones who don't recognize and mistreat your pains/problems.

Wish you all the best!
Or add to pain/problems. How has your social and romance life been since you got away from parents? Didn't you say you started your own business? How about your fitness? ( body game ).
 

mrgoodstuff

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Suicide isn't the answer, no matter how bad things get.

You are loved, even if it doesn't feel like it in a certain moment.
Suicide especially in response to how a person or group did you is a real cop out, plus they would love it!
 
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Machine10033

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Yes... but not now... I contemplate what being 85 years old will be like? I was in the hospital once in my early 20’s and nearly lost my mind. I fear being old... I have no kids... no wife... my family has all moved away or passed on.... I think I will go for a long hike or swim.... hopefully I can... and maybe god will let my heart give out?
 

JST8828

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I developed pretty severe Tinnitus back in mid 2018 and within a few months when I realized it wasn't going away I thought about, in a serious way, suicide, for the first time in my life. I still never came close to doing it and eventually have learned to (somehow) live with my condition, but it was the darkest point in my life.
 

Robert28

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Just wondering if any of you guys ever think about suicide knowing deep down that you would never do it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?
When my father passed away in 2013, my mom in 2016 and my dog in 2017 I was in a dark dark place. Not only did I think about it, I researched the best way to do it. I would sit on the couch night after night with a loaded .45 sitting next to me going through all the reasons I didn’t need to pick it up and stick it in my mouth. I was in a dark place and it had absolutely nothing to do with women. My friends didn’t even know how bad off I was. Luckily they kept making me go out and do stuff instead of sit home and I honestly think that’s what saved me. So many don’t have friends and the longer you sit by yourself the worse off you get.
 

FairShake

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My mom tried to commit suicide twice and I have Multiple Sclerosis which sees it's sufferers attempt suicide more than twice as often as non-sufferers. I have never thought about doing it but have wondered if I would if my progression changed or someone very close to me died. It's a dark though though and I quickly change the subject in my head. It's the main reason I never bought a gun though because if I did ever get there I'd want a second opinion.
 

metalwater

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yes; it is a message meaning it is time to make changes. whatever is the status quo or norm is not working.

It's a message to yourself that has the wrong info. the message really means; time to make a change. because we don't know what change to make that idea pops up. it can be all consuming... but its still a wrong message.

what you do: make some other big changes in life even if they seem risky. making a risky change is usually the fastest way to get away from the wrong messaging.

-change jobs.
-change women.
-start volunteer help to others; in a big way. The result of this one is that lots of ppl all of a sudden need you.
-start into a fitness program in earnest.
-whatever; sure you get the idea already.

these guys https://www.7cups.com/ have a site where they accept chat/help in real-time. it's ok, lots of ppl that have been there and try to understand. also, lots of guys try to connect with girls in disguise of help. both type. some of it's funny, but they do some good work also. Neutral, not red pill, and not against. the interesting thing is if bummed out, can find a live ear quickly.
 

Kotaix

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People who seem happy and have everything can kill themselves out of the blue. Robin Williams comes to mind, among many others. And I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it.

Fearing death is dumb. Everyone dies and there's nothing to be done about it.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Yes. It is actually incredibly relieving to know you can "check out" if you want to. Even if you don't really want to. Not sure if that makes sense.

I don't think it's weak or irrational to decide that life is not worth it. Some people truly are just unlucky: their whole life is nothing but a series of uphill battles that don't provide satisfaction or meaning in overcoming.

I don't think it's always about depression or mental illness, or trauma, or other mental afflictions, but simply being born into awful circumstances and situations and never quite getting out of them.

The idea that life is worth living no matter what is complete nonsense.
 
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Blacksheep

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You probably have gone through the most traumatic experiences of anyone on this website. Having your parents use you to fuel their narcissm and greed is about as low as you can go.
Silent, cowardly and wicked abuse. Committing these acts against a child who has no idea what he is dealing with is disgusting.

That "powerless" and constantly "violated" position that your parents had you forced into, WOULD lower T. It would raise stress and cortisol. It would do the opposite of validating a strong masculine image. It would get you into expecting bad outcomes. Low self esteem, incredible amounts of self doubt. Loss of hope. Etc.
Thats true. Also cognitive dissonance, post-traumatic stress disorder and a series of mechanisms to try to protect yourself or escape from distress.

The longer I stay away from it all, the more my mind becomes clear. I still have a lot of flashbacks, some somewhat painful insights. But it is as if I am rebuilding a new "self" within me. And it seems that my real "self" has been suppressed for all these years, to meet my father's illusory and impossible expectations.

How long has it been since you have been outside of your parents clutches and their reach? What things do you think were most important in building your self since? Do you have any new boundaries now that you are out of their life that you maintain and can never be broken?
It was 1 year now in May. A lot has changed for the better.

Professionally speaking: I had started a business in the area of designer, I ended up taking a job earlier this year. I acquired experience and now another company has made a better proposal. I will earn a little more, and I will acquire much more knowledge in this challenge. Despite wanting to have my own business, I found myself in a situation where I needed to at least pay my bills. So for a while I believe that I need to go through this, even to acquire more maturity. I broke my father's fallacy: "You will never be able to make money outside of my company. Do you really think anyone would hire you the way you are?"

On the personal side, I am becoming more assertive and confident. I'm not the most confident guy in the world, but I respect myself a lot more than I did before I left that. It is something that has been extremely important to me, as I lived in fear of displeasing others and often failed to say no in certain situations that I felt I was disrespecting myself. Funny that when you learn to say no ... People at first seem to get angry, but in the end they end up respecting you more. Not that I speak in an arrogant way ... I always try to be polite, even if I have to say no or disagree with something.

Or add to pain/problems. How has your social and romance life been since you got away from parents? Didn't you say you started your own business? How about your fitness? ( body game ).
I have not yet lost the amount of weight I would like. I improved a little, but there is still a lot to work on in this regard. However, stress and depression are less frequent than before.

In terms of romantic life, I am choosing to be with women who feel a certain connection and who have values and principles aligned with mine. That thing about picking up and having sex with naughty women or anybody, I'm literally dropping it. Challenging, but when I spend my time with people I feel connected to, I also feel more respected.

The same goes for friendships.

I've been evolving a lot, but I still know that there is a lot to heal. Certain wounds still hurt and I believe that only time can soothe.
 

Realthangpoon

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I got knocked on my as several times. it's definitely no joke or Game. stuck in a Bardo several times. read the Tibetan book of the dead. imagine garden of eden. luxury nature and fresh fruit. take it and flip up it upside down. the magets the rotting and the polar contrast. it's a tight rope. what Peterson talks about chaos and order.

Approaching absurd amounts of women and pulling. women are very emotional and many aren't oriented right. fellas need to detox and dare I say disassociate from women and world a great deal. Or else lulz!

It can be a bumpy ride.
Yes man, I am very ready.

Just broke up with my kinda GF last month. started lifting again and seeing gains. Focusing on my music.

Just had a 3 night alcohol/coke binge tho because of my birthday/pubs open again but now it’s ready for detox and spiritual healing. Deep down I hate amphetamines and alcohol anyways but it’s easy to get sucked in. Anyways I got myself a shroom grow kit, time for the babies to grow. it’s gonna be a good summer.
 

TheCharmingGuy

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A girl really fvcked me up in the head once. I didn’t really know what to feel and suicide crossed the mind. I was younger then and was letting her own me just a bit, she was quite manipulative. I still loved her though, even after I realized she was manipulating me. No, she didn’t cheat or lie to me, but she had me dangling on a string. Ever since I’ve been very dominant and never let a woman take control of my feelings that way.
 

BMX

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Suicide especially in response to how a person or group did you is a real cop out, plus they would love it!
This. Is why I never followed through during my stint as a beat cop several years ago. Now look at them struggling to retain personnel and/or recruit new ones. Executions of officers and suicides on the rise throughout the force. Best of luck.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This. Is why I never followed through during my stint as a beat cop several years ago. Now look at them struggling to retain personnel and/or recruit new ones. Executions of officers and suicides on the rise throughout the force. Best of luck.
Executions?
 
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