"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Has No-Contact worked on getting your ex back for anyone?

ColonyConfused

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I'm just wondering, because i'm being over optimistic about my ex, because now we are in NC, and we're not even friends anymore, because i told her i can't be just friends with her, because my feelings for her are more than that. But anyways.. i know i'm being stupid, but i just want to know has it ever worked for anybody to go NC with their ex, and the ex contacts them and ask to reunite, and be friends again?.
it's been 26 days since the last time we met, and i told her i'm not gonna see her again, and said goodbye with a smile. I'm in the process of moving on, and i need to know if i'm doing the right thing. or at least wasting my time thinking about the right or wrong stuff.
So guys, please write your story if this has happened to you, or just if you want to give me an advice.. i'll appreciate it!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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GADavid

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Yes. The answer you are looking for, btw. It has worked for me twice.

Don't bother with "I can't be just friends bc I feel/love too strongly". How valuable is something you can have at any moment? Not very. That's you. Save the drama and theatrics. Why did she dump you (persuming that is what happened)? How have you changed in 26 days?

NC is for you to get over her and improve yourself, not to get her back. You want her to miss you and come running back, though. She liked you to start with, something went wrong, and it ended. Do some serious self reflection: why do you want her back, what went wrong, how did your behavior change since you met her...

She needs to see the person she liked...but better. Limited contact is necessary for her to see that you're not exactly who she thought. She needs to be curious why you're doing better without her. The problem here is that 4 weeks is a long time for her to not have gotten curious and sent you a random text at least. This one might not work because despite your smile, you left with a weak position.

Find a way to break the silence. Be friendly. Make sure everything you say is positive, you're doing awesome, life has never been better for you. You are suddenly and oddly indifferent about getting back together.... you get where I'm going with this.

Be warned. There is a reason ya'll broke up and she went cold on you. It will happen again with 99% certainty.


What you should be doing is getting angry, then indifferent. Who is she to have given you the cold shoulder? That's not someone who cares a whole lot about you. She didn't fight to keep you as at least a friend despite the history you share. If you call that a friend, you need some new ones. It's easier to forget someone you dislike.
 

ColonyConfused

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@GADavid, i have to say, what you just wrote to me, it was the cure. it was both helpful and also optimistic at the same time. I understand whatever you said, and now i think that when my moving on process is done, i might just send her a message for new year maybe, and attach a funny pic along it. and maybe i'd say "just wanted to let you know that i've moved on already, and i'm looking for a friend who's willing to push the reset button of a friendship which didn't go well last time". I'm not sure about that phrase, but if you think of something better, please shoot!.
and the reason for us breaking up was that she stopped feeling for me, a pretty common excuse for breaking up. anyway, i dont think i would want a relationship with her again, but i wouldn't mind having her in my friends list, because after all, we share some little of a history together.
GADavid if you think of any other advice.. i'm so in need for them man, and thanks a dozen ;)
 

dap

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That txt message definitely isn't something you want to send if you want any hope of attracting this girl. I guess it would be ok if you really just want to be friends and feel that you can do it without wanting more. I would personally keep up the NC until she starts running back, with no needy text messages.
 

BadNews

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Yes. It has worked for me.

That being said, the relationship ended a year (6 year total relationship) later - and it wasn't pretty if I may add. DO NOT GO NC TO GET YOUR EX BACK! Go NC to get over her. Trust me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ColonyConfused

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Thanks for the advises guys. i hope i am able to deal with my stupid moody emotions. i've never been so pu$$y in my life. ahhhh!
 
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