"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Has No-Contact worked on getting your ex back for anyone?

ColonyConfused

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I'm just wondering, because i'm being over optimistic about my ex, because now we are in NC, and we're not even friends anymore, because i told her i can't be just friends with her, because my feelings for her are more than that. But anyways.. i know i'm being stupid, but i just want to know has it ever worked for anybody to go NC with their ex, and the ex contacts them and ask to reunite, and be friends again?.
it's been 26 days since the last time we met, and i told her i'm not gonna see her again, and said goodbye with a smile. I'm in the process of moving on, and i need to know if i'm doing the right thing. or at least wasting my time thinking about the right or wrong stuff.
So guys, please write your story if this has happened to you, or just if you want to give me an advice.. i'll appreciate it!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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GADavid

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Yes. The answer you are looking for, btw. It has worked for me twice.

Don't bother with "I can't be just friends bc I feel/love too strongly". How valuable is something you can have at any moment? Not very. That's you. Save the drama and theatrics. Why did she dump you (persuming that is what happened)? How have you changed in 26 days?

NC is for you to get over her and improve yourself, not to get her back. You want her to miss you and come running back, though. She liked you to start with, something went wrong, and it ended. Do some serious self reflection: why do you want her back, what went wrong, how did your behavior change since you met her...

She needs to see the person she liked...but better. Limited contact is necessary for her to see that you're not exactly who she thought. She needs to be curious why you're doing better without her. The problem here is that 4 weeks is a long time for her to not have gotten curious and sent you a random text at least. This one might not work because despite your smile, you left with a weak position.

Find a way to break the silence. Be friendly. Make sure everything you say is positive, you're doing awesome, life has never been better for you. You are suddenly and oddly indifferent about getting back together.... you get where I'm going with this.

Be warned. There is a reason ya'll broke up and she went cold on you. It will happen again with 99% certainty.


What you should be doing is getting angry, then indifferent. Who is she to have given you the cold shoulder? That's not someone who cares a whole lot about you. She didn't fight to keep you as at least a friend despite the history you share. If you call that a friend, you need some new ones. It's easier to forget someone you dislike.
 

ColonyConfused

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@GADavid, i have to say, what you just wrote to me, it was the cure. it was both helpful and also optimistic at the same time. I understand whatever you said, and now i think that when my moving on process is done, i might just send her a message for new year maybe, and attach a funny pic along it. and maybe i'd say "just wanted to let you know that i've moved on already, and i'm looking for a friend who's willing to push the reset button of a friendship which didn't go well last time". I'm not sure about that phrase, but if you think of something better, please shoot!.
and the reason for us breaking up was that she stopped feeling for me, a pretty common excuse for breaking up. anyway, i dont think i would want a relationship with her again, but i wouldn't mind having her in my friends list, because after all, we share some little of a history together.
GADavid if you think of any other advice.. i'm so in need for them man, and thanks a dozen ;)
 

dap

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That txt message definitely isn't something you want to send if you want any hope of attracting this girl. I guess it would be ok if you really just want to be friends and feel that you can do it without wanting more. I would personally keep up the NC until she starts running back, with no needy text messages.
 

BadNews

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Yes. It has worked for me.

That being said, the relationship ended a year (6 year total relationship) later - and it wasn't pretty if I may add. DO NOT GO NC TO GET YOUR EX BACK! Go NC to get over her. Trust me.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ColonyConfused

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Thanks for the advises guys. i hope i am able to deal with my stupid moody emotions. i've never been so pu$$y in my life. ahhhh!
 
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