"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Has anyone else seen this KY commercial?

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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so i'm sitting here with mrs backbreaker we are watching whatever the fvck is on CBS. I'm not so much watching as much as I'm drinking and trying to read a book while playing with my wife's feet while she watches TV. anyway so the show goes off. and there is this ky commercial and these 2 people are in bed with each other and it's the dude's birthday and he says something about dinner being his birthday present and she looks at him and says "that wasn't your birthday present" and breaks out a bottle of KY jelly.

I don't know why, but that pisses me off. how pathietic of a fvcking wife do you have to be to get "sex" for a birthday present? the day that this is my birthday present it's time to go. i'd rathe ryou not "get" me anything.

that's like, you kow what that's like? that's like a dude on child support, paying his child support the one week that it's his child's birthday lol. you're supposed to pay child support. dammit my wife is supposed to have sex with me. Often!

i wish that would have been me in that commerical i would have been like "*****", then slapped her and turned her over and grab the bottle of KY, then look at the camera and say "now this is what KY is for" as i proceed to PIITB
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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El Suave

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Haven't seen it, but if I did I would've probably thought that she is offering anal for his birthday :moon: :up:
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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Yeah, I've seen it plenty of times...that bıtch is nothin to get a hard-on over, either. She's kinda fugly. Not a very sexy commercial for puṣṣy lube.
 

The Duke

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This is pretty much in line with the rest of the "WOMAN IS GREAT, MAN IS SCHITT" propaganda out there.

And btw, just what kind of woman needs pusy lube? ...One thats not very sechsual to begin with.
 
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