Has Anyone Actually Attended One of These Events? Are They Worth it?

[MatureDJ]

Organized singles events come with a major perk: The woman is already there. Right in front of you.

Getting a woman on an app to agree to meet up can be a massive challenge.

The most important thing is that women drop their b!tch shields while there. Oh sure, they still won't care to date you, but at least they'll be civil about it, and you get to talk to them.

 

[MatureDJ]

Actually, you're paying 33 euros to have the luxury of starting a conversation with a stranger with a guarantee of not being told to f&ck off right off the bat, or getting AMOG'd, or having people look at you weird. To some guys, that is very worth it.

I'm so used to having to pay to get women's attention, that I'm immune to it. Of course, usually, the 50 EUR gets me a rub & tug.

 

[SW15]

I'm so used to having to pay to get women's attention, that I'm immune to it. Of course, usually, the 50 EUR gets me a rub & tug.

It doesn't seem like Eastern European women have treated you much better than USA women in terms of the conventional mating market.

The most important thing is that women drop their b!tch shields while there. Oh sure, they still won't care to date you, but at least they'll be civil about it, and you get to talk to them.

The biatch shields are the most difficult part of conventional, unstructured nights at bars/nightlife venues.

One upside of approaching women at bars/nightlife venues is that women at bars/nightlife venues tend to be seeking new penis. They go to nightlife venues expecting to interact with new men. However, even though interaction with new men is expected, they will often give new men attitude. This is called the biatch shield and it leads to unpleasant interactions.

At an organized singles events, there's a little bit less of this. Approaches are treated with a more civil manner. However, at the end of the day, women will reject most men at organized singles events.

In more conventional nightlife, it is more attractive women rejecting most men and being generally more harsh about it. Some might reject very quickly. At organized singles events, it is mediocre to subpar women rejecting most men (still only seeking the top tier) but trying to deliver that message with a more polite tone.

 

[Barrister]

I would be curious to know how many DJs here outside of GoodMan have actually gone to one of these events. Like most things in life, anything is worth trying at least once.

I think if you are in a major metro area that it could be decent. Yes, women are right in front of you in cold approach as well but one difference is these women are physically coming to an event for the specific purpose of dating. Not looking at lettuce at the grocery store and wanting to be left alone. So, they (in theory) will be more receptive to overtures for dates.

I think the biggest issue will be the quality/hotness of the woman at these kind of things if you are attempting it in a smaller metro area (where I live) or even smaller. The pickings become slimmer and it is likely it may not be what you want.

I am always a big proponent of cold approach -- but I also believe in trying new things and I would give this is a shot if I lived in a major city.

 

[GoodMan32]

I would be curious to know how many DJs here outside of GoodMan have actually gone to one of these events. Like most things in life, anything is worth trying at least once.

I think if you are in a major metro area that it could be decent. Yes, women are right in front of you in cold approach as well but one difference is these women are physically coming to an event for the specific purpose of dating. Not looking at lettuce at the grocery store and wanting to be left alone. So, they (in theory) will be more receptive to overtures for dates.

I think the biggest issue will be the quality/hotness of the woman at these kind of things if you are attempting it in a smaller metro area (where I live) or even smaller. The pickings become slimmer and it is likely it may not be what you want.

I am always a big proponent of cold approach -- but I also believe in trying new things and I would give this is a shot if I lived in a major city.

Well-said. I'd be curious to find out how many posters have been to these events too. Off the top of my head, I recall a post where @corrector said he went to one of these events.

You make a good point when you mention the fact the female attendees at these events are there for the specific purpose of finding a guy.

Yeah, the female attendees at these events might very well reject you. Then again, to use your example, a woman checking out lettuce at a grocery store, who wants to be left alone, will also reject you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Organized singles events come with a major perk: The woman is already there. Right in front of you.

Getting a woman on an app to agree to meet up can be a massive challenge.

Yes, apparently it's like climbing Mount Everest now

 

[pipeman84]

33 Euro is not much for a single dude that has his life in order. I’d pay that to see what’s out there.

It's not the money per se, which is just the cherry on the top. Going to such events is like wearing a big sign on which the word desperate is written. I can't see how one can have his life in order AND go to such an event.

 

[corrector]

Well-said. I'd be curious to find out how many posters have been to these events too. Off the top of my head, I recall a post where @corrector said he went to one of these events.

It was speed dating in 2015. Unlike visiting an escorts (ie which I did in December, 2014, which was an ego-building event) going to speed dating was an ego-deflating event. That is because women ask, "what is it that you do for a living" or "what do you do?" as their converation opener or first question. If you don't have something solid then you appear weak off the gate. Also it's the same looks thing like OLD. I remember meeting someone on a date from a speed dating event, but she accidentally selected me and thought I was a hot guy (ie she "catfished" herself by accident in other words).

You make a good point when you mention the fact the female attendees at these events are there for the specific purpose of finding a guy.

They are there for finding their Chad/chadlite tier who makes six figures, six feet tall and six abs. Which is why most guys check-out as its just a waste of time.

Yeah, the female attendees at these events might very well reject you. Then again, to use your example, a woman checking out lettuce at a grocery store, who wants to be left alone, will also reject you.

The lady at the grocery store may not be as much of an ego-busting experience even if you are rejected because there is allot of plausible deniability (ie she might be married, in a relationship, does not have the bandwith to talk to a new stranger, or you might be not in the mood and just want to mind your own business but want to test the waters (ie meaning you not 100% there for an interaciton to get into a level where she could "reject" you, unless she's downright rude).

With a female attending with events, you basically have a 2 minute focused conversation and that's the end of it (ie speed dating), and then do that with 20 other women. Usually I feel drained after going to events like this because you know almost certainly you are not going to make any impression and it's just a social exercise.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Most women under 50 are not lacking in options. By now, most 50+ women have discovered tech methods for arranging dates and most of them are experiencing abundance too.

@CheekyMonkey101 - You are 31 and likely dealing with 21-31 year old women living in a big Westernized city.

Most women in your age range have plenty of options because they are using tech methods. However, most 21-31 year olds are still young enough that they could get a decent amount of options without tech. No woman can match the abundance that tech methods give her solely on using real life methods.

No, most women do not have "abundance". if they did they would have settled down by now instead of getting passed arround by the same top 5% of men.

its just an illusion that dating apps give to women, esp young women.

until the ratio of men and women are radical unbalanced, both men and women have the same "abundance" (there is an equal number of men and women). at the end of the day, both men and women want a single monogamous relationship.

Right now, this is what is wrong with western women. They think they have more options then they really do. they dont.

 

[SW15]

I would be curious to know how many DJs here outside of GoodMan have actually gone to one of these events. Like most things in life, anything is worth trying at least once.

I wrote in 2022 about how I had been to an organized singles event in the first post of the thread below.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

I think if you are in a major metro area that it could be decent. Yes, women are right in front of you in cold approach as well but one difference is these women are physically coming to an event for the specific purpose of dating. So, they (in theory) will be more receptive to overtures for dates.

I think the biggest issue will be the quality/hotness of the woman at these kind of things if you are attempting it in a smaller metro area (where I live) or even smaller. The pickings become slimmer and it is likely it may not be what you want.

I have been to those events in a major metropolitan area. It tends to brings out the bottom tier, least desirable singles from both sexes. These are singles who were unable to find sex or relationships from their social circles, unstructured nightlife, non-bar interactions, swipe apps, or social media DMs.

These events bring out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

No, most women do not have "abundance". if they did they would have settled down by now instead of getting passed arround by the same top 5% of men.

its just an illusion that dating apps give to women, esp young women.

until the ratio of men and women are radical unbalanced, both men and women have the same "abundance" (there is an equal number of men and women). at the end of the day, both men and women want a single monogamous relationship.

Right now, this is what is wrong with western women. They think they have more options then they really do. they dont.

Women often perceive abundance. The perception of abundance is more important than actual abundance.

It's difficult not to perceive abundance with hundreds of men in a swipe queue, many messages in the in-app inbox on the swipe apps, and lots of DMs on Instagram. Instagram Follower counts, Likes, and comments on posts can also be a part of abundance.

A former mid-tier female friend used to comment that despite her quantity of abundance, her overall quality of options were crap. Her looks rated around a 5. She had enough options as a 5 to find a good, long term boyfriend but she was just a penis carousel rider who had put up a high notch count.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Of course, usually, the 50 EUR gets me a rub & tug.

I was getting a rub & tug the other day and it got me thinking...

 

[GoodMan32]

Yes, apparently it's like climbing Mount Everest now

I signed up for an app today. I guess we'll see what type of luck I have.

It's not the money per se, which is just the cherry on the top. Going to such events is like wearing a big sign on which the word desperate is written. I can't see how one can have his life in order AND go to such an event.

I've witnessed (on multiple occasions) men get subjected to hissy fits from a woman in public just because he...gasp...committed the "crime" of trying to speak to her. At organized singles events, at least a man can rest assured a woman won't throw a hissy fit when he opens his mouth.

It was speed dating in 2015. Unlike visiting an escorts (ie which I did in December, 2014, which was an ego-building event) going to speed dating was an ego-deflating event. That is because women ask, "what is it that you do for a living" or "what do you do?" as their converation opener or first question. If you don't have something solid then you appear weak off the gate. Also it's the same looks thing like OLD. I remember meeting someone on a date from a speed dating event, but she accidentally selected me and thought I was a hot guy (ie she "catfished" herself by accident in other words).



They are there for finding their Chad/chadlite tier who makes six figures, six feet tall and six abs. Which is why most guys check-out as its just a waste of time.



The lady at the grocery store may not be as much of an ego-busting experience even if you are rejected because there is allot of plausible deniability (ie she might be married, in a relationship, does not have the bandwith to talk to a new stranger, or you might be not in the mood and just want to mind your own business but want to test the waters (ie meaning you not 100% there for an interaciton to get into a level where she could "reject" you, unless she's downright rude).

With a female attending with events, you basically have a 2 minute focused conversation and that's the end of it (ie speed dating), and then do that with 20 other women. Usually I feel drained after going to events like this because you know almost certainly you are not going to make any impression and it's just a social exercise.

Perhaps my good looks (no matter how much it gets said on this forum that I don't have good looks), combined with the fact my line of work sounds impressive (even my job itself is low-paying), are why I managed to get a mini-date after an organized singles event.

 

[MatureDJ]

It was speed dating in 2015. Unlike visiting an escorts (ie which I did in December, 2014, which was an ego-building event) going to speed dating was an ego-deflating event. That is because women ask, "what is it that you do for a living" or "what do you do?" as their converation opener or first question. If you don't have something solid then you appear weak off the gate. Also it's the same looks thing like OLD. I remember meeting someone on a date from a speed dating event, but she accidentally selected me and thought I was a hot guy (ie she "catfished" herself by accident in other words).



They are there for finding their Chad/chadlite tier who makes six figures, six feet tall and six abs. Which is why most guys check-out as its just a waste of time.



The lady at the grocery store may not be as much of an ego-busting experience even if you are rejected because there is allot of plausible deniability (ie she might be married, in a relationship, does not have the bandwith to talk to a new stranger, or you might be not in the mood and just want to mind your own business but want to test the waters (ie meaning you not 100% there for an interaciton to get into a level where she could "reject" you, unless she's downright rude).

With a female attending with events, you basically have a 2 minute focused conversation and that's the end of it (ie speed dating), and then do that with 20 other women. Usually I feel drained after going to events like this because you know almost certainly you are not going to make any impression and it's just a social exercise.

It's OVER for AccidentallySelectedCels.

 

[SW15]

women are physically coming to an event for the specific purpose of dating. Not looking at lettuce at the grocery store and wanting to be left alone.

There's often a difference in women's intentions to show up to things vs. what happens when they show up.

At organized singles events, women are coming to an event for the purpose of finding dates. Yet, when women show up to these, they are mediocre to subpar women seeking elite level men and rejecting the men that do show up. Men do not enjoy being rejected by a weak talent pool.

At nightlife venues on standard, unstructured nights, women show up because they are often single and seeking new penises. Women are expecting approaches at nightlife venues. However, when women expect to be approached, their biatch/defense shields are way up. Most men at the nightlife venues fail to meet their standards and are rejected. Most men are going home from nightlife venues at 1-3 AM (assuming a 2 AM closing time - standard in most USA cities) empty handed, pissed off, and somewhat intoxicated.

Some men will explore non-bar approach if their efforts on swipe apps and at nightlife venues are failing. The grocery store is one of those venues. Women at grocery stores come from all walks of life, even at carefully selected grocery stores in neighborhoods where the majority of the population is unmarried. The typical woman looking at lettuce in a grocery store isn't seeking new penis even if she is unmarried at that moment. A typical 20s-30s woman at a grocery store in a neighborhood with mainly unmarried people usually has a boyfriend or a situationship going on at the moment she's approached. She's often annoyed about fielding that approach. She's even more annoyed if the man is very average on looks or possibly even subpar. If his verbal game is weak, that adds more annoyance.

I've certainly handed out my fair share of compliments at these events.

Sounds like simping. Be careful!

Getting a woman on an app to agree to meet up can be a massive challenge.

It can be. Most men are having poor experiences on the swipe apps.

 

[corrector]

Perhaps my good looks (no matter how much it gets said on this forum that I don't have good looks), combined with the fact my line of work sounds impressive (even my job itself is low-paying), are why I managed to get a mini-date after an organized singles event.

See if you had the good looks, then you would not manage to get a mini-date, you would have problems managing all of the matches and trying to decide which one to go with, lol !

 

[Chow Mein]

I would be curious to know how many DJs here outside of GoodMan have actually gone to one of these events. Like most things in life, anything is worth trying at least once.

I think if you are in a major metro area that it could be decent. Yes, women are right in front of you in cold approach as well but one difference is these women are physically coming to an event for the specific purpose of dating. Not looking at lettuce at the grocery store and wanting to be left alone. So, they (in theory) will be more receptive to overtures for dates.

I think the biggest issue will be the quality/hotness of the woman at these kind of things if you are attempting it in a smaller metro area (where I live) or even smaller. The pickings become slimmer and it is likely it may not be what you want.

I am always a big proponent of cold approach -- but I also believe in trying new things and I would give this is a shot if I lived in a major city.

Connotation is that men who attend these events are undesirable. You would need to knock it out of the park. Women usually get a free pass, maybe a 1-drink cover that dudes would be willing to pay for.

I’ve been to a couple a decade ago, matched with some. Dudes were socially awkward then, as well. One turned out to be in the witness protection program =P
With all due respect/judgement, she was hot.

 

[SW15]

men who attend these events are undesirable.

This is true. The majority of men at these events have issues in looks, money, status, and personality.

Looks and personality are probably the biggest problems for most of the male attendees.

There are a lot of mediocre to subpar looking men who appear at these events. However, there are enough somewhat good looking men (6 - 7.5 type range) who do show up. These aren't elite men on looks but they'd be good enough on looks, especially if women weren't as unreasonably fussy as they are.

Personality is likely the biggest issue for a lot of these men, regardless of their looks level. These men lack charisma. They often having boring to mediocre personalities (if neurotypical), have moderate social skill deficiency (still neurotypical), or high degrees of social skill deficiency (are on the autism spectrum). None of these personalities are going to attract women and most will repel women, regardless of looks level. Average looks and average personality (neurotypical) is going to lead to rejection at these events.

Most of the men are nothing special on either money or status. Most are employed at jobs that wouldn't stand out in any way.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Most of the men are nothing special...

that can be said for most of the women also...

 

[SW15]

that can be said for most of the women also...

I agree and it has been said. The women are mainly mediocre to subpar at these events.

Going to such events is like wearing a big sign on which the word desperate is written. I can't see how one can have his life in order AND go to such an event.

It is true that going to such events would come off as desperate for men and an indicator of extreme fussiness or a bad personality for women. A woman should be able to lock down a man through any other channel.

I decided that I didn't want to market myself to women in that channel. I wasn't going to achieve what I desired there and it would send the wrong message to the wrong women for me.