Le Parisien
Master Don Juan
First of all, greetings from Paris...
Hope some people still remember me, haven't checked this site for a while...
Now that I'm not in the States anymore, the actual concrete "tips" from this site are not that really useful for me anymore (due to cultural differences) but I still have a question that is pretty much "universal".
Now for the first time in 6 years I meet girls under "normal" social circumstances (basically my classes and the friends of my classmates) thanks to a career orientation change...
There are many interesting girls that I won't mind take as my GF. The problem is that most of them are taken.
It's not a problem per se, thanks to the school's location (or isolation), they are all pretty much long distance relationships, and I tend to believe that long-distance relationships don't last.
The problem is that if I pursue girls that are taken or try to hit on multiple girls, it's very bad for my reputation (yup, France is NOT the USA), I will pass for a sleazy player, which I'm not.
The scheme is like (how non-available girls think):
1) If you have a GF and you "fool around" (European standards, does NOT mean kissing or grinding) a little bit with other girls who have a BFs, you are a cool dude.
2) If you have a GF and you don't fool around, then you are a good guy.
3) If you are single and you fool around in a clumsy way, you are a desperate loser looking for any opportunity to touch a girl, like going out of your way to say hi or to dance with a girl.
4) If you are single and fool around in a "cool" way, you are a player and you are also very threatening because you are blatantly "asking" for something that the girl is NOT ready to give (dumping the boyfriend)
5) you are single and you don't do ****: you are a shy or antisocial loser.
I started the year in the 4 case, but when many girls showed reluctance after showing appreciation (basically they want me as a very good friend and maybe also a good backup plan, but nothing more for now) I got pissed and turned to mode 5.
My question is: how should I handle this?
They accept the guys who are taken much more easily than the single ones, which is very understandable since they are not "threatening", at least in theory.
The funny (and understandable) thing is that the more beautiful the GF, the "safer" the guy is supposed to be.
As a result, we see couples of "already committed" people getting more and more chemistry together.
What a vicious circle: the more you have the easier it is for you to have more.
I know that what I just described is a very common thing, but I really don't know how to handle it in a good way. I simply try to broaden my social "horizons" and try to meet more girls so some of them might be single.
But it pisses me off everytime the girls who are taken come back and show me "affection" only to pull away when I start actually pimping them.
The guys who are taken have it much easier: if they get an "upgrade" it's cool, if not they still have the old one, there's no pressure.
I can't actually pretend to "play it cool" since I'm actually looking for a GF.
But anyway, I think it's better to be in cases 4 and 5 than in the 3th one.
Any thoughts guys?
Hope some people still remember me, haven't checked this site for a while...
Now that I'm not in the States anymore, the actual concrete "tips" from this site are not that really useful for me anymore (due to cultural differences) but I still have a question that is pretty much "universal".
Now for the first time in 6 years I meet girls under "normal" social circumstances (basically my classes and the friends of my classmates) thanks to a career orientation change...
There are many interesting girls that I won't mind take as my GF. The problem is that most of them are taken.
It's not a problem per se, thanks to the school's location (or isolation), they are all pretty much long distance relationships, and I tend to believe that long-distance relationships don't last.
The problem is that if I pursue girls that are taken or try to hit on multiple girls, it's very bad for my reputation (yup, France is NOT the USA), I will pass for a sleazy player, which I'm not.
The scheme is like (how non-available girls think):
1) If you have a GF and you "fool around" (European standards, does NOT mean kissing or grinding) a little bit with other girls who have a BFs, you are a cool dude.
2) If you have a GF and you don't fool around, then you are a good guy.
3) If you are single and you fool around in a clumsy way, you are a desperate loser looking for any opportunity to touch a girl, like going out of your way to say hi or to dance with a girl.
4) If you are single and fool around in a "cool" way, you are a player and you are also very threatening because you are blatantly "asking" for something that the girl is NOT ready to give (dumping the boyfriend)
5) you are single and you don't do ****: you are a shy or antisocial loser.
I started the year in the 4 case, but when many girls showed reluctance after showing appreciation (basically they want me as a very good friend and maybe also a good backup plan, but nothing more for now) I got pissed and turned to mode 5.
My question is: how should I handle this?
They accept the guys who are taken much more easily than the single ones, which is very understandable since they are not "threatening", at least in theory.
The funny (and understandable) thing is that the more beautiful the GF, the "safer" the guy is supposed to be.
As a result, we see couples of "already committed" people getting more and more chemistry together.
What a vicious circle: the more you have the easier it is for you to have more.
I know that what I just described is a very common thing, but I really don't know how to handle it in a good way. I simply try to broaden my social "horizons" and try to meet more girls so some of them might be single.
But it pisses me off everytime the girls who are taken come back and show me "affection" only to pull away when I start actually pimping them.
The guys who are taken have it much easier: if they get an "upgrade" it's cool, if not they still have the old one, there's no pressure.
I can't actually pretend to "play it cool" since I'm actually looking for a GF.
But anyway, I think it's better to be in cases 4 and 5 than in the 3th one.
Any thoughts guys?