Hard to get?

[TNbuckeye]

I'm new to this forum, and recently reintroduced into the wild, so bare with me. I have been talking to a girl I met on pof. I was a smart ass. I didn't apologize, but I admitted it. She said she had enough of people being mean when she didn't do anything to them, and she didn't know if she wanted to talk to me anymore.
She hasn't told me to not contact her, but hasn't gotten back to me. Is she testing me, or should I move on?

Any advice from some seasoned DJs would be appreciated

 

[Iceberg]

I'm new to this forum, and recently reintroduced into the wild, so bare with me. I have been talking to a girl I met on pof. I was a smart ass. I didn't apologize, but I admitted it. She said she had enough of people being mean when she didn't do anything to them, and she didn't know if she wanted to talk to me anymore.
She hasn't told me to not contact her, but hasn't gotten back to me. Is she testing me, or should I move on?

Any advice from some seasoned DJs would be appreciated

I guess I'm "seasoned". So I'll put it to you this way:

You haven't even met this girl yet. So who cares? Contact her again...don't contact her again. It's all minimal risk on your part, so why worry?

My point is this - Don't waste your time messaging for weeks/months with girls on dating sites. A vast majority are just a waste of time anyway.

Invite this girl out for drinks (you should always invite them out for drinks after 2 or 3 messages, anyway) and see if the's serious about meeting guys or just looking for an online ego boost.

Otherwise, you're just sitting here worrying about a girl who's just a figment of your imagination anyway.

EDIT:

Another concept you want to eliminate from your vocabulary is "Hard to get". It does not exist. The girls who want you will find ways to get you. A girl who values you as an attractive male will not play "hard to get"...Why? Because if she wants you, then she believes other women want you. And while she's playing Hard to Get, another girl might swoop in and steal you.

There is no hard to get.

 

[TNbuckeye]

"Figment of your imagination". Harsh dude . Lol .
Put up or shut up I guess

 

[Iceberg]

Wasn't trying to be harsh. I've had an above-average amount of success in online dating, so I encourage guys to do things in such a way where they don't over-invest in a particular faceless, nameless online chick.

It's important to quickly separate the girls who want to MEET you from the girls just looking for attention (the majority). Lots of women can be perfectly content living in their little online world with 100's of daily male admirers whom they'll never meet.

That's why you simply, over the course of 2 or 3 days, have 2 or 3 email exchanges. Somewhere in the last email, you say, "We should get off of this lame site and get a drink. What's your number?" At that point, the girl comes through, or she disappears. But at least you've only wasted minimal time. And while asking a girl out in the FIRST email might be too soon, after 2 or 3 messages there's enough rapport to justify asking her out.

In your situation, with the "smart ass / apologies / don't-contact-me-anymore stuff, it sounds like you're living in this online world, and not doing anything to get out of it. You don't even know this girl and you're already going through the ups and downs of a damn relationship. See what I'm saying?

And when it's all said and done, after all your chatting, and joking, and apologizing, she may have never wanted to meet you anyway.

Which takes us to my original point.

 

[TNbuckeye]

The harsh comment was a joke. But you are exactly right. I just needed to hear it from someone else. I was to close to the situation to see the bigger picture.
As far as her living in her online world, you could be correct.

 

[SoSuave666]

There is no hard to get.

Although I do believe that there is such a thing as "hard to get," I will agree that a girl will definitely make herself available to you if she has high interest. The reason I don't think "hard to get" is that prevalent among women anymore is because they now know that their pvssy has enough power to attract another man at the drop of a hat. If they play hard to get, and the man plays harder to get, opportunity is lost and the girl will find it MUCH easier to move along.

With that said, it seems like the majority of "hard to get" is played by the men on this forum. NC for the sake of NC, NC to get over a girl, NC to drive interest level....all of that is playing "hard to get." It's a useful tool though, no doubt. The difference generally is this: when a woman isn't contacting you she pretty much has no interest in you. When a man isn't contacting a woman, it's 80% a game, 10% no interest, 10% forced moving on.

I always thought the women were the game players?

 

[TNbuckeye]

Nc?

She also said she had 149 unread messages that she didn't respond to because she wasn't attracted to them, and most of our conversations have been on the phone. Not pof.
The "smart ass" comment came after I told her out was nice talkin to her. She said huh. I replied with "it's self explanatory, but hey, everyone makes mistakes"

 

[SgtSplacker]

If you were a little snappy with her and she hasn't stopped talking with you already then you might be turning her on lol. As weird as that may sound. If she even replies to you again I would play the "push pull" game with her. You already pushed by being a smart ass. And if she talks to you again then she has accepted it. Now pull and be a little nice to her, maybe invite her somewhere nice or compliment her. Remember negging a girl is a staple part of your game. You don't want to take it too far obviously. If she actually agrees to seeing you, you already know the push pull game is working on her. So that cats IN the bag as long as you keep it up.

 

[TNbuckeye]

If you were a little snappy with her and she hasn't stopped talking with you already then you might be turning her on lol. As weird as that may sound. If she even replies to you again I would play the "push pull" game with her. You already pushed by being a smart ass. And if she talks to you again then she has accepted it. Now pull and be a little nice to her, maybe invite her somewhere nice or compliment her. Remember negging a girl is a staple part of your game. You don't want to take it too far obviously. If she actually agrees to seeing you, you already know the push pull game is working on her. So that cats IN the bag as long as you keep it up.

I admitted being a smart ass. Told her I wanted to make it up to her. She said she didn't know. That was 2 days ago

 

[JohnChops]

Dont bother making it up, move on and go talk to other girls. Then maybe message her in a couple weeks or maybe she will message you Your the catch so act like it!