Handsome or not?

[GabryHR]

This has been bothering me for some time. I've slept with more than 15 girls in my life, some as low as 3/10s some as high as 8/10. Actually I don't enjoy sex with these random girls, and I've never had a GF. I started drinking and clubbing at about 15, and I recently turned 19. When I go out, girls often approach me and I get called handsome. Despite this, my self-esteem is almost non-existent, especially when I see my own pictures. Maybe my face is not made for a camera, but one thing is for sure, I look better in real life than photos. Anyways, my self-esteem especially plummets about once a year when a crush rejects being in a relationship with me. Around this time is also when I go to better clubs and sleep with a random girl or two to feel better..but actually the effect is opposite, I feel even uglier because the girls are usually only 6s at best.

Anyways, here's a photo from last night and I'm wondering how you guys honestly think I look. Please keep in mind it was at 4AM, after drinking, with flash, and that I look a bit worse in photos. If you think I'm ugly in the photo, feel free to say it and with some advice as well

http://imageshack.com/a/img842/2236/4jsq.jpg

 

[:-)]

you kind of look like this guy OP:

http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100624003403/indianajones/images/9/9e/River_Phoenix.jpg

Kinda androgenous which Asian chicks go wild for. You ain't ugly though I wouldn't post threads like this, it won't help your self-esteem.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Honestly, based on this picture I'd say you're not an ugly dude but you come across a little naive, passive and submissive. On top of that the color of clothes you're wearing make you seem dull and boring. A little more contrast would help you a lot.

 

[GabryHR]

What does "not ugly" mean anyways? 90% of people "aren't ugly," so it means almost nothing..it won't help me acquire the 8s and 9s I really want

Here's another photo

http://imageshack.com/a/img819/1398/eogg.jpg

 

[TheCleanPleb]

This has been bothering me for some time. I've slept with more than 15 girls in my life, some as low as 3/10s some as high as 8/10. Actually I don't enjoy sex with these random girls, and I've never had a GF. I started drinking and clubbing at about 15, and I recently turned 19. When I go out, girls often approach me and I get called handsome. Despite this, my self-esteem is almost non-existent, especially when I see my own pictures. Maybe my face is not made for a camera, but one thing is for sure, I look better in real life than photos. Anyways, my self-esteem especially plummets about once a year when a crush rejects being in a relationship with me. Around this time is also when I go to better clubs and sleep with a random girl or two to feel better..but actually the effect is opposite, I feel even uglier because the girls are usually only 6s at best.

Anyways, here's a photo from last night and I'm wondering how you guys honestly think I look. Please keep in mind it was at 4AM, after drinking, with flash, and that I look a bit worse in photos. If you think I'm ugly in the photo, feel free to say it and with some advice as well

http://imageshack.com/a/img842/2236/4jsq.jpg

You have a good jawline, you should fix your posture though. You're not a bad looking guy, you probably just have awkward body language, you do seem kind of passive.

 

[FairShake]

If you're 19 and you've slept with 15 girls you look fine. That should be enough for you to know.

You aren't classically handsome by any means. Your face isn't very symmetrical. But you have a quirky cool face and, if paired with the right outfit and hairstyle, you can look great. I think in that pic you look pretty good.

If you've never had a girlfriend but have had sex with plenty of strange one night stands I'd wager something is wrong with your innerself. Your personality may come across obnoxious/weird/bland. Obviously I detect that you might be kind of needy too. I'd take a look at that and try and work it out. It's harder than improving your looks by the way but so much more important for happiness.

 

[Mike32ct]

You have a good jawline and good hair.

I don't know what your height is, but if you are tall also, you are all set.

You should do fine with the chicks.

 

[foreverAFC]

you are a light skinned fair haired guy, isnt that pretty much what most women like ?

 

[:-)]

hmm

 

[marmel75]

You remind me a lot of Christian Slater, to be honest

 

[GS750]

I dont see any reason why you'd have a problem with the ladies based on your photo. Thats my .02

 

[VikingKing]

Don't ask me how i stumbled across this, https://boards.4chan.org/soc/res/18626079#p18626898

 

[TheCleanPleb]

Don't ask me how i stumbled across this, https://boards.4chan.org/soc/res/18626079#p18626898

That board gives me cancer.

 

[JoeMarron]

Hah dude has already laid 15 women and thinks he's ugly, meanwhile ripped dudes on bodybuilding.com are crying about being forever alone. Dude..there are far better things to use your mental energy on than worrying about your looks. You like like the average white dude

 

[donking]

lol bodybuilding.com. one of the few places where people spend TOO much time working out. respect.

 

[GabryHR]

Thanks for all of the advice guys. I feel quite a bit better now. Most of you said I'm simply not ugly, but that also implies not particularly handsome..and I would hate being average looking just as much as ugly. I had a talk with a close friend of mine about my looks, in a non-homo way. He's an honest guy and says I'm about an 8/10, and when I asked him about my photos he said that I look 2-3 points worse in most of my photos. He said it has something to do with the facial expression I make, as well as the lighting. I get called 'handsome' often, no matter where I live. Pretty girls always have good and flirty moods around me, as long as I can remember

I dont see any reason why you'd have a problem with the ladies based on your photo. Thats my .02

I don't have problems with average looking girls, it the 8s+ that are impossible for me, and that I really want

Hah dude has already laid 15 women and thinks he's ugly

Anybody can lay 15 women. There's many ugly and fat girls out there willing to sleep with a 2/10 man, so it's not a big feat

I don't know what your height is, but if you are tall also, you are all set.

I'm 182~cm, however I wish I was 185

The problem isn't how you look. Obviously, if you have slept with 15 women. The problem is how you perceive yoursefl. You don't like yourself, for whatever reason, and you have to find out why and change that.


The way you are acting, is what I see as the reason women act as "sluts". Low self-esteem. When someone you really like rejects you, you run to the nearest club and find someone to sleep with. Alcohol is always a factor. Does that not sound EXACTLY like women we label "sluts"??

You have to QUIT seeking validation from others and learn to love yourself. everytime you get rejected, then go sleep with a chick you don't like, the self-esteem plummets more. Stop doing this. Learn to love yourself, and STOP being so focused on a relationship or bedding chicks.

Thanks mate, solid advice. I just don't know how to deal with rejection, which is also why I 'm never the first to approach a girl at places like clubs

You aren't classically handsome by any means. Your face isn't very symmetrical. But you have a quirky cool face and, if paired with the right outfit and hairstyle, you can look great. I think in that pic you look pretty good.

If you've never had a girlfriend but have had sex with plenty of strange one night stands I'd wager something is wrong with your innerself. Your personality may come across obnoxious/weird/bland. Obviously I detect that you might be kind of needy too. I'd take a look at that and try and work it out. It's harder than improving your looks by the way but so much more important for happiness.

I think you're very correct. I'll never be the classical handsome, but I prefer to be handsome in a special or unique way. Lots of men with a good height are classically handsome. As for not having a GF, many of the girls I slept with were more than interested in dating me. But I want my first GF to be a girl I can potentially marry..I would never cheat on her or act like an idiot. But she must be very unique, especially physically and in style/fashion. I absolutely love girls (particularly if they are Chinese or Korean) that are above 170cm, extremely thin, can wear 10cm heels without a problem, have nice long hair, have a playful personality, etc. Those girls aren't impossible to come by in Seoul, and I've even slept with a few like that. But getting, as well as keeping, those kinds of girls in a relationship is almost impossible. They are very open-minded and always looking for the next best opportunity when it comes to boys.

 

[GotED?]

Sorry mate, unless you are rich, famous - you probably will not catch 8's and if you do there are strings attached.

You remind me of myself when I was younger and naive/innocent. Just like you, the HB8+ were my Holy Grail and obtaining one was all that mattered.

Looking back now I realized I had such a low self image and esteem of myself. I eventually pull HB8+ easily now but I avoid them like the plague or tread cautiously because most are emotionally or personality phuvked up big time.

My first HB8 really messed up my life because I was the classic AFC pedestaling her non stop. Don't go there. You are an all right looking guy but pulling an 8 would destroy your world when it falls apart.

The true game of DJ is to realize who you are as a man and find that depth of security and belief in who you are as a man (thus able to walk away from women at any moment in life).

If you are a 5 or 6 in appearance, understand that most women will only date DOWN because they are not confident enough to believe a man on their own level will stay with them without cheating. So at best you can pull in HB6-7's regularly.

Find your self esteem and be realistic about what and who you are. Save yourself from getting sh!tted on by women way above you and destroying all that you are inside just to prove your weak ego that you are good enough to be with a HB8+ woman.

Be well.

Exodud

 

[GabryHR]

Sorry mate, unless you are rich, famous - you probably will not catch 8's and if you do there are strings attached.

You remind me of myself when I was younger and naive/innocent. Just like you, the HB8+ were my Holy Grail and obtaining one was all that mattered.

Looking back now I realized I had such a low self image and esteem of myself. I eventually pull HB8+ easily now but I avoid them like the plague or tread cautiously because most are emotionally or personality phuvked up big time.

My first HB8 really messed up my life because I was the classic AFC pedestaling her non stop. Don't go there. You are an all right looking guy but pulling an 8 would destroy your world when it falls apart.

The true game of DJ is to realize who you are as a man and find that depth of security and belief in who you are as a man (thus able to walk away from women at any moment in life).

If you are a 5 or 6 in appearance, understand that most women will only date DOWN because they are not confident enough to belief a man on their own level will stay with them without cheating. So at best you can pull in HB6-7's regularly.

Find your self esteem and be realistic about what and who you are. Save yourself from getting sh!tted on by women way above you and destroying all that you are inside just to probe your weak ego that you are good enough to be with a HB8+ woman.

Be well.

Exodud

The main reason for my insecurity actually stems from how I look in photos in comparison to real life. I can never be 100% sure I'm a 7-8/10 in real life, but my experiences have always led me to believe so. I don't think a woman can ever destroy me emotionally, only I can destroy myself. As you said yourself, and many others, I look like a 5 or 6 in the photo. This is very contradicting to what I experience, which causes my insecurity. I've went out and lived in Europe most of my life, and even there I was never the first one to approach a girl. Often times I dance with my friends and just ignore girls entirely until a (often cute) girl taps me and asks to dance together.. I just don't see this happening with 5/10 looking men. And I often get compliments that I'm cute/handsome, again I don't think that's something that happens to average men

You may ask me why do I care what I look like in photos if I'm actually handsome. The reason is simple. I go out often, feel attractive, etc. Then photos get taken and I see them, where I often look ugly or below average in. This completely kills my mood and expectations of my appearance. Sometimes I just hope my face doesn't translate well into photos..but how many photos do I have to see until I accept it?

 

[GotED?]

Perhaps you are a male attention whorre here.

What you are saying is ridiculous - no man in his rational mind worry about his picture appeal vs actual pull of women in real life.

You need to see a shrink if so.

 

[GabryHR]

Perhaps you are a male attention whorre here.

What you are saying is ridiculous - no man in his rational mind worry about his picture appeal vs actual pull of women in real life.

You need to see a shrink if so.

No rational man should be insecure about what women think about him, yet here we are..discussing tips and strategies about seemingly making them think highly of you. In the end, if you're rich or handsome, your actions and personality are almost irrelevant when it comes to pulling women. Which is why I stress the importance of my appearance to myself, and it's also why seeing ugly photos of myself damage my self-esteem