Guys, I just realized something. A couple of the girls I'm going for are shy. They are either shy or they really aren't interested in me. They pass me in the hall everyday , and I always say "hey baby" or something like that to them. They get this big grin on their face and look a little embarrassed, and they usually say somethin back like "hey cutie.". I catch one of them staring at me all the time during class, but it's really hard to have a conversation with her since she is so shy. How do you all handle shy girls? Do you even waste your time on them? I know for a fact that after they get to know you, they open up to you more and talk to you more, but I was just wondering if you all had any experiences with shy girls or suggestions on how to get them to open up more. thanks, and please, no bull**** advice.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
handling shy girls
- Thread starter fezz
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
SnatchJP
Senior Don Juan
Two tactics I use with shy girls:
1. Asking questions and being a good listener. Shy girls don't always crack open like clogged water jets, sometimes they're just quiet. You have to ask them questions to get them talking. Check some of the bible posts on convo (conversation) for some good tips.
2. Act. You can get girls to really interact with you through actions. Kino is good, challanging them to games, races, contests, anything. This works especially well for dates. When you're going out, you should focus on action dates (ice skating, fairs, mini-golf) rather than convo dates (movies, dinner, walking in the park).
Finally, it sounds like you're just circling around these two like a shark. Do me a favor right now: Pick your favorite (flip a coin if you have to) and get her number. NOW. Saying "hey cutie" and giggling is a buying signal. Take her up on the offer!
1. Asking questions and being a good listener. Shy girls don't always crack open like clogged water jets, sometimes they're just quiet. You have to ask them questions to get them talking. Check some of the bible posts on convo (conversation) for some good tips.
2. Act. You can get girls to really interact with you through actions. Kino is good, challanging them to games, races, contests, anything. This works especially well for dates. When you're going out, you should focus on action dates (ice skating, fairs, mini-golf) rather than convo dates (movies, dinner, walking in the park).
Finally, it sounds like you're just circling around these two like a shark. Do me a favor right now: Pick your favorite (flip a coin if you have to) and get her number. NOW. Saying "hey cutie" and giggling is a buying signal. Take her up on the offer!
yea, Im gonna try talkin to her a little more each day. Like, it was usually just saying hey to her in the halls, and then today I walked her to class, so who knows what tommorrow brings. And yes, action date all the way. I hate dinner dates and crap like that. Have any of you all had good action dates recently??
SnatchJP
Senior Don Juan
Nonono, you misunderstood, I dont want you to "talk a little more each day" I want you to talk to her for a minute or two and get those digits the first time you see her tomorrow. I'm not kidding. Do it.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
LordBrian
Don Juan
Talking to much will make u a great friend.. but thats not what you want... right?
CaptainSlinky
Master Don Juan
I'm definately starting to get sick of shy girls. I don't want the girl to do all the work, but somebody without any energy in the matter of a relationship just plain sucks. Girls with energy are just so much more fun.