Handling hints of serious talk

[zekko]

I'm not sure I understand the dilemma. Just be 100% with her and tell where you are in life and what your goals are. Will save you and her frustration down the road. She's at that age where she probably wants to focus on one guy but wants to ensure her and your vision are congruent.

The only problem I see with that is it doesn't sound like their visions are congruent, unless I'm missing something. Maybe I'm misreading what he wants, which he said was to leave things as they were.

 

[filerfiler]

What I want is a life long partner, with whom i can build a family and have kids.

I am not sure she wants those - in words yes (well not really, just hints, I'm not even sure she's not doing that just to string me along either) but in behavior not yet.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I'm not sure I understand the dilemma. Just be 100% with her and tell where you are in life and what your goals are. Will save you and her frustration down the road. She's at that age where she probably wants to focus on one guy but wants to ensure her and your vision are congruent.

No need to be coy, Roy.

What's there not to understand? He's basically stringing her along. He doesn't deem her relationship-worthy, but doesn't want to flat out say it because he wants to keep her as a plate as long as possible.

Whether or not this is ethical is a different question. As far as I'm concerned, ethical considerations fly out the window if a girl is acting the way OP has described.