"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Half-success and what I learned from it

mikeyb

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So I was at this conference in September and figured, what the hell, I'll try gaming some of the girls there in a harmless sort of way, just for "practice". There were two who seemed interesting so I did the whole small talk thing, a bit of kino, and ended up talking/flirting all evening with one girl who I'll call Jill. The second girl, say Jane, seemed to get jealous once or twice and occasionally butted in when me and Jill were getting too friendly for her taste. Anyway, that was it and I didn't really expect to see either of them again.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, I was travelling to Jill's city for other reasons so I emailed her and after some harmless "how have you been" stuff I told her I was taking her to a "secret event at an undisclosed location". Don't know how much can you tell from email but judging from the number of smilies it seems like her IL was pretty high at the time. So last week we met in her city, spent the evening together and had an awesome time, kissed a few times, but nothing more. There was some light kino but in hindsight it was insufficient. At the end of the evening I suggested going back to my hotel for "drinks" and she declined, IMO the kino just hadn't been enough. However she had indirectly suggested that we might get together again so I just took this like another first date and we left it at that.

So today I called her up to maybe get together next weekend. Maybe she didn't like my action date idea or maybe her IL is far less than what I thought but I got the "I don't know what my schedule will be like for the next few weeks" line. Ouch. She also seemed really surprised that I would travel again to meet her, maybe that diminished whatever value I had in her mind.

What I intend to do now: no contact, I think it's a no brainer here. I have this other chick on my radar and I'll see how that goes, but as far as Jill is concerned unless she contacts me that's over.

Lessons I'm drawing from this: more KINO!!! Yes we kissed but apart from some light touching that was all. I had many opportunities to do stuff like hand holding without it seeming out of place or even cheesy romantic but for some reason it never really appealed to me. This is why I'm still calling this a half-success: I got the date and I did kiss her and I know what I could have done to make things work.

Any thoughts or advice are welcome
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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zekko

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Lessons I'm drawing from this: more KINO!!!
You were there so you would know better than I, but maybe you're jumping to conclusions here that the problem was not enough kino. Maybe as she got to know you better she realized you weren't her type. There are a lot of reasons why a woman's interest in a man might not skyrocket.

Also, sometimes a little kino is more effective than a lot. If you're constantly touching her, it may excite her, or she may become bored and desensitized to it. Pook said he didn't use too much kino. He said something along the lines of he had developed his frame so well he didn't need to use kino to be sexual, if he had used kino it would be overkill.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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zekko said:
You were there so you would know better than I, but maybe you're jumping to conclusions here that the problem was not enough kino. Maybe as she got to know you better she realized you weren't her type. There are a lot of reasons why a woman's interest in a man might not skyrocket.
Yeah. You can't be too hard on yourself or worry about the reason behind what women do. It's not always logically tied to something.

Just gotta forget about it and continue on your path
 

mikeyb

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Yeah, you both have valid points, maybe it was something else altogether, in fact it probably was. But I'm sure more kino would have been a good thing here.
 

mikeyb

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Update: Got a text message from her late last night along the lines of "I had a great time last weekend but I don't think this will work out". I answered "I understand. Take care" and so that's the end of that.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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zekko

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mikeyb said:
Update: Got a text message from her late last night along the lines of "I had a great time last weekend but I don't think this will work out". I answered "I understand. Take care" and so that's the end of that.
Sorry to hear that, mate.
But again, I doubt if she's thinking "if only he would have touched me a few more times, I'd be so into him". It's probably just a chemistry thing, or maybe more likely she has some other guy she's involved with or shooting for.

More fish in the sea, and all that.
 

mikeyb

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zekko said:
Sorry to hear that, mate.
But again, I doubt if she's thinking "if only he would have touched me a few more times, I'd be so into him". It's probably just a chemistry thing, or maybe more likely she has some other guy she's involved with or shooting for.

More fish in the sea, and all that.

This time I have to admit you're right about the kino thing.
 
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