"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Hair down 8/10 Hair up 4/10

Upside

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Pleas explain this.

I'm dating a girl who has gorgeous long hair. When it is down, she's a 8/10 easily. With it up it's like I'm dating her uglier twin. 4/10.

So...has anyone ever felt like this before? I encourage her to leave it down subtly, but it can be a bit strange.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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NewJack

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hahaha. kewl story.

I imagine most girls would go below 5 points on the scale if they had to shave off their hair completely. ... even the super hotties...long hair on a girl is just so awesome.
 

Big Nuts

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Too picky...bend her over and hit her from behind and be glad ur tapping p00n!
 

Atom Smasher

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When it's down:
"You look so sexy with your hair down like that".

When it's up:
Silence
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Cremasta

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Sometimes you've just got to be honest and damn the consequences.

Her: Do you like my hair up like this?
Upside: No!

Did this to mine a while back and she doesn't wear it up anymore. Still haven't managed to stop her straightening it though.
 

JoshSway

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Upside said:
Pleas explain this.

I'm dating a girl who has gorgeous long hair. When it is down, she's a 8/10 easily. With it up it's like I'm dating her uglier twin. 4/10.

So...has anyone ever felt like this before? I encourage her to leave it down subtly, but it can be a bit strange.
Ha. I'm with you man. I find most girls look much better with hair down than up.
 

zekko

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Well, girls do tend to look better with their hair down. Going from a 4 to an 8 seems like too big of a jump to be realistic, however.

Look at it this way: If she puts it up some of the time, then it's more of a special treat when she lets it down. Besides, a ponytail can be kind of cute once in a while.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Wolfgang D

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We find long, thick, flowing hair attractive because it is a sign of health and youth, therefore a sign that she is a good partner to have children with. The hair gets more brittle with old age or from disease.

It is the same as why we find smooth skin with a healthy pallor attractive, a straight back, a small nose and chin and ears (these never stop growing, so they are bigger in old age), wide cheekbones (make the face look less drawn-out; the face grows longer with old age), large eyes (eyes are larger in proportion to the face when we are children), white teeth, a clear voice, a healthy breath, etc. We also find a certain symmetry in the face attractive, called the "beauty mask", as that symmetry signals health - those who deviate a lot from this symmetry usually have poorer genes. In women, we appreciate a certain hip-to-waist ratio as it signals good child-rearing capacity, and we find slim shoulders attractive in women as that signals more estrogen, less testosterone, therefore a better mate to have children with.

And so on. Evolutionary psychology should be taught in school. Of course, since the extreme-egalitarian doctrine demands that we pretend all traits are equally attractive so that no one is sad, this wisdom will never be told to school children. Except by an old teacher I had who couldn't care less about what the school system said, and taught us whatever he knew to be true. I liked that man. Note that I don't say "guy". Some men are not guys or buddies or bros but men, period.
 

Atom Smasher

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Cremasta said:
Sometimes you've just got to be honest and damn the consequences.

Her: Do you like my hair up like this?
Upside: No!

Did this to mine a while back and she doesn't wear it up anymore. Still haven't managed to stop her straightening it though.
Yes, I agree. If she asks directly, I'll tell her straight out I like it down.

I don't believe in coddling to spare the little princesses' feelings.
 

namismybabe

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it's her hair, it's her prerogative. that said, i do agree long hair is hot. and this will get flames and i don't care but short hair sucks.
 

namismybabe

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Espi said:
An "8" down and a "4" up????

I'm thinking you're judging her attractiveness solely on her hair.

Get a girl who has more to offer.
so yeah, preferences are the devil...
 

JoeMarron

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namismybabe said:
it's her hair, it's her prerogative. that said, i do agree long hair is hot. and this will get flames and i don't care but short hair sucks.
No one will flame you for this. "I prefer short hair to long" said no man ever
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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