Had to dump her

[BeExcellent]

The good women (who are far and few between) are the ones who don't try and change you, but try and adapt to your lifestyle. The things you do become the things that she does unless you specifically tell her you don't want her tagging along. And you know what? That's the way it should be. That's one of the reasons why older women are absolutely terrible as LTR prospects. They're set in their ways, they won't give xxxx up for no man and they have their own life full of self-indulgence and emotional fluctuation which they're addicted to. A woman who either hasn't built up her own life or is willing to dump everything she's ever known is the one who's going to be a good companion.

I agree largely with the above. A woman may have had to build her own life (that was the case with me) but she will make priority space for her man in her life. And she will accept him as he is. Good and bad. I like having a man in my life. I make space for him as the priority. I still have work and still have kids...but he comes first and his interests come first. Otherwise he cannot lead the relationship and his leadership is crucial to the success of the interaction.

Just my 0.02 on that

 

[Glassguy]

Ill start by saying going through your daughter was a shady move, not good. I'm guessing she reached a point of desperation and acted accordingly.

The thing I disagree with is having relations with people of the opposite sex. It never tends to go well, and can certainly foster insecurity in one party. Did she also commit the same actions that you did on social media? Did she have lots of male friends that she communicated with?

Walking the line between not caring and caring enough is tricky. From how it sounds, you were firmly on the "one foot out the door" side of the line, thereby never giving her any sort of certainty in the relationship. Without a firm footing, she resulted in desperate behaviors.

While I do agree that she was out of line, it would likely be beneficial to evaluate how your actions drove her to behave like this.

Personally, a fair amount of jealousy doesn't bother me. It serves as a reminder of the power dynamic in the relationship. If she stopped caring about me getting around, then she may be looking elsewhere as well. Very telling. When my lady gives me grief, "so who's xxx at your work?", I usually respond with "some new girl, young, very attractive, I wonder if she's single...?" That's usually the end of that line of questioning...

I'm not sure if she had a lot of male friends on social media. I never paid attention honestly. I was transparent with her and she went goofy. She sabotaged the relationship. I acted in a strong frame where I wasn't jealous or needy. She apparently was used to men showering her with attention and not acting as I did.
At the end of the day, who cares. It's a dodged bullet.

 

[bat soup]

I had to leave a girl like that. It irritated me to the point the I lost all attraction for her.

 

[Glassguy]

I had to leave a girl like that. It irritated me to the point the I lost all attraction for her.

That is exactly the way it went down. After her trying to grill me several times over things I didnt do, it totally killed the attraction and I didnt even want to be around her. And the last 3 weeks we were "together", I only saw her twice.