Had a horrible night out at local bar

[sosousage]

We met these 2 girls at our local dive bar. At first conversation flowed very smoothly and freely but I just ran out of things to talk about and I just couldn't keep conversation going at all. I don't know if it was anxiety or self doubt or being too desperate

the girl was maybe a 6/10 27 year old so nothing special plus she wasn't really my type personality wise so nothing is lost but I'm frustrated that I couldn't keep her very heavily interested in me

I'm happy I experienced this rejection though. I need to be very comfortable with rejection but I have to find a way to always keep conversation free and smooth

Just tell her you are looking for girlfriend and ask if she wants to have sex with you. be bold

 

[Bible_Belt]

...In real life nobody cares nearly as much as you think they do. That was a great relief once I digested it.

A favorite law professor of mine had a similar saying, something like "people notice you a lot less than you think they do."

 

[bigdave17]

This realization is honestly progress. The other thing to keep in mind is that most other people are just as neurotic and you are (don't take that the wrong way.) What I mean in saying this is that everyone is caught up worried about their own stuff and thinking everyone else is judging them and etc. It's a form of arrogance and self absorption many/most people indulge in.

Once you understand that everybody else is just as neurotic as the next guy, then you realize everyone else is too worried about their "stuff" to be critical of you. And then you can just relax and learn to chill out.

Dave, I have a question for you. Do you think that coming from a sales background that you are selling yourself too much? If you are do you think dialing that back and picking out interesting things the chick says and asking more about that might help keep conversation going?

Believe it or not years ago I was painfully shy. And as I emerged from painfully shy I went through a painfully self-conscious (see self absorbed, above) stage. So I've been through this evolution myself. Now I am truly confident and I have been for years. I don't care what people think about me, I'm not afraid to say what I think, I'm not afraid to open up emotionally, I'm good with who I am and that energy radiates from me and is extremely attractive.

I remember a big epiphany in my journey was realizing everybody else is just as worried about what everyone thinks as I was...so much so that they probably don't even notice whatever thing I was doing that I was hyper self criticizing myself about. Here on the board you are revealing your internal dialogue so it's here for the observing...so we can see it and speak to it. In real life nobody cares nearly as much as you think they do. That was a great relief once I digested it.

the question about sales- I don't really do any active "selling" at my job

i just make customers feel very comfortable around me and they naturally want to buy

 

[17 shots]

Why don't you ask them questions to see if they meet all of your high standards that you're always blabbering on about here

 

[sph21]

Dave, have you read DJ Bible section about conversations? Have you practiced it with everyone?

In order for someone else to be interested in you, you must be interested in him/ her first. At first, it was hard for me to do this because I'm an introvert. And then it got easier as I let them do most of the talking.

The way you communicate during the conversations will signal her whether you just want to be a friend or something more. This is a very complex matter to explain in a single post. I suggest you to learn about verbal and nonverbal communications. You aren't just communicating through your words, but you are communicating through your whole body. And women can read these signals better than us.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

the question about sales- I don't really do any active "selling" at my job

i just make customers feel very comfortable around me and they naturally want to buy

In other words, you do NOTHING.

Yet you think you deserve a place at the top of the world.