"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Guys here who starting dating at a much older age in life

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bigdave17

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Let's say you never had a GF or any real dating life until 24-30, this question is for you. Was dating better, worse or the same as what you had imagined it to be?

I've suffered a lot in my life emotionally as a consequence of not having any semblance of a dating life. I think humans are social creatures and we need both platonic and romantic companionship to feel mentally balanced - every social recluse I've ever met was mentally damaged. Last year, I met a beautiful, very intelligent and very sweet woman in her 30s that I thought I would give it a try. I was seeing her for about a month to 2 months and oh my lord, it was even better than I ever imagined dating would be. I loved having her all over me, I loved having quality conversations with her - we went to a country music concert and she was super affectionate, probably one of the best nights of my life (as sad as that is to say). The problem was that she was a single mom with 2 kids and I knew I wouldn't be happy with that situation long term, even though I tried. I absolutely hated breaking it off with her, because I knew she would be very happy with me long term. She thought I was gorgeous, our chemistry was phenomenal and she would have loved to be with me in terms of how well I handle the financial aspect of things (i'm sure it's very difficult handling 2 kids being a single mom nowadays, I don't think she was getting a ton in terms of child support).

It just made me crave the real thing so much more. It made me wonder how much I've missed out in life by not having normal dating development. Then again though, did I just see the rosy side of it and I will think it's overrated once I get into an actual relationship? I'm super chill in real life, if I meet a girl and she is cool at first but she becomes a nagging annoying *****, it will drive me insane.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Andrewdiceclay

Andrewdiceclay

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If I could go back and do it all over. I would have not stressed so much about girls,relationships or *****. It always seemed to side track me or get in the way. I would have started dating now (mid-twenties). You become a lot more aware of who you are as a person, what you want and what you are looking for in a women. You are also aware of the issues you are dealing with and careful not to implement them on another person. It also gives you time to develop your career with no side tracks. That's exactly what a women wants. A dude who doesn't care cuz he's got it all. So.. don't worry about it and there will be an EVEN BETTER fish in the sea than her. You are fine, bro.
 
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bigdave17

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Andrewdiceclay said:
If I could go back and do it all over. I would have not stressed so much about girls,relationships or *****. It always seemed to side track me or get in the way. I would have started dating now (mid-twenties). You become a lot more aware of who you are as a person, what you want and what you are looking for in a women. You are also aware of the issues you are dealing with and careful not to implement them on another person. It also gives you time to develop your career with no side tracks. That's exactly what a women wants. A dude who doesn't care cuz he's got it all. So.. don't worry about it and there will be an EVEN BETTER fish in the sea than her. You are fine, bro.
Click to expand...
I'm 29 now and Ive "had it all" for multiple years and it's not helping me at all with women
 
Roober

Roober

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bigdave17 said:
've suffered a lot in my life emotionally as a consequence of not having any semblance of a dating life
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Here is the root of your problem. Anyone who has any amount of self respect are unbiased by women not being in their life. I imagine all women prior to your current age also picked up on your deep seeded insecurity.

You don't need anyone to make you happy. Stop blaming everyone else and look inside
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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bigdave17

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Roober said:
Here is the root of your problem. Anyone who has any amount of self respect are unbiased by women not being in their life. I imagine all women prior to your current age also picked up on your deep seeded insecurity.

You don't need anyone to make you happy. Stop blaming everyone else and look inside
Click to expand...

I don't agree with this and I say this as someone who would be very independent if he was to ever be in a relationship. I see men who act clingy or needy and I cringe so hard

humans are still social creatures - we need companionship to feel mentally balanced. It's one thing to not feel affected by not dating for a year or two but I've wanted a girlfriend now for 14 years to no avail. That's enough to break down the strongest spirit
 
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