Guys give me some encouragement here

[bigdave17]

If that's the only woman that flirted with you, then she is your league. Maybe you should face the facts instead of chasing pipe dream relationships

It's the only woman who approached me hard but women are extremely passive by nature

there is probably some beautiful 25 year old Latina out there who would love to date me but is terrified to say anything

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I'm willing to put in the work with the relationship because that's what I crave. I don't really care about one night stands. If it didn't lead to a one night stand, I especially didn't want her. She is nowhere near my league

I really want like a cute Spanish or middle eastern chick a few years younger than me

I don't want to sound like a jackass towards you here, but saying a girl is "decent looking" and following up with "she is nowhere near my league" sounds more like a degree of arrogance than confidence. Being confident in yourself and your abilities is every man's goal and is extremely attractive to women, but thinking yourself inherently "better" than some women based instantly off your first impression of them is not an attractive trait. Even subconsciously, it alters how you come across and may harm your "better" prospects.

You may be a huge ripped hunk of a male model with a young Brad Pitt's face. You may not be. But either way, IMO if a cute chick in a bar makes effort to flirt with you that should resonate with you and be more important at the time than your theoretical "ideal" babe that isn't in that bar and may or may not even exist.

Two things are standing out to me here.

1. You enjoy the attention these chicks are giving you and it feeds your ego (naturally). That's why you bring up in this thread repeatedly how much blatant sexualised attention women give you at bars. But at the same time you don't return it, so you're just p***y-teasing them for the lolz, which I really don't understand. It doesn't help you or them. It's the kind of behaviour the more immature girls try on guys when they don't want to commit to anything.

2. Your locations (bars) and attitude is completely aligned with a guy looking for a very specific fantastical ONS ("She has to be a hot black/Spanish 10/10 model who is easy for me to hit on and hits on me sexually") but you claim to want a real relationship. Just sounds indecisive to me. Either you take what you get from "decent looking girls" at bars, or you need to stop looking in bars and try online dating to meet specific types of women.

I know physical attraction is important, but if you want a relationship that isn't necessarily #1. Do you want a really attractive black, Spanish woman that is also unintelligent, lazy and prone to deceit for a LTR? Of course not.

It's the only woman who approached me hard but women are extremely passive by nature

A complete handwaving generalisation of all woman kind here. Are all men extremely muscular and aggressive by nature? No. Such a statement would be nonsense.

Yeah, most girls might be conditioned to be more passive. This chick wasn't passive. She saw you value in you, fancied you...and you did nothing to reward her action towards you. You just complained she wasn't hot enough.

You're going to bars, saying you get a large amount of female attention from cuties, and then complaining bitterly that you didn't meet your ideal variation of Sasha Grey and she didn't want to marry you monogamously. That's not an outlook that's likely to win you an awful lot of support and encouragement, because you're not taking the opportunities offered to you, you're complaining they're not good enough.

 

[bigdave17]

I don't want to sound like a jackass towards you here, but saying a girl is "decent looking" and following up with "she is nowhere near my league" sounds more like a degree of arrogance than confidence. Being confident in yourself and your abilities is every man's goal and is extremely attractive to women, but thinking yourself inherently "better" than some women based instantly off your first impression of them is not an attractive trait. Even subconsciously, it alters how you come across and may harm your "better" prospects.

You may be a huge ripped hunk of a male model with a young Brad Pitt's face. You may not be. But either way, IMO if a cute chick in a bar makes effort to flirt with you that should resonate with you and be more important at the time than your theoretical "ideal" babe that isn't in that bar and may or may not even exist.

Two things are standing out to me here.

1. You enjoy the attention these chicks are giving you and it feeds your ego (naturally). That's why you bring up in this thread repeatedly how much blatant sexualised attention women give you at bars. But at the same time you don't return it, so you're just p***y-teasing them for the lolz, which I really don't understand. It doesn't help you or them. It's the kind of behaviour the more immature girls try on guys when they don't want to commit to anything.

2. Your locations (bars) and attitude is completely aligned with a guy looking for a very specific fantastical ONS ("She has to be a hot black/Spanish 10/10 model who is easy for me to hit on and hits on me sexually") but you claim to want a real relationship. Just sounds indecisive to me. Either you take what you get from "decent looking girls" at bars, or you need to stop looking in bars and try online dating to meet specific types of women.

I know physical attraction is important, but if you want a relationship that isn't necessarily #1. Do you want a really attractive black, Spanish woman that is also unintelligent, lazy and prone to deceit for a LTR? Of course not.



A complete handwaving generalisation of all woman kind here. Are all men extremely muscular and aggressive by nature? No. Such a statement would be nonsense.

Yeah, most girls might be conditioned to be more passive. This chick wasn't passive. She saw you value in you, fancied you...and you did nothing to reward her action towards you. You just complained she wasn't hot enough.

You're going to bars, saying you get a large amount of female attention from cuties, and then complaining bitterly that you didn't meet your ideal variation of Sasha Grey and she didn't want to marry you monogamously. That's not an outlook that's likely to win you an awful lot of support and encouragement, because you're not taking the opportunities offered to you, you're complaining they're not good enough.

couple things

1)I love the attention from these women but I do not lead them on. I am super nice to them but I do not pursue anything - I just turn them down as nicely as I possibly can

2)When I say she was not in my league, I mean that she was not attractive and young enough for me to consider dating her. It has nothing to do with her character as a person. There is probably some hideously overweight 1 legged woman somewhere who is a 10 times better person than me. That has nothing to do with what I'm looking for

3)I'm open to dating women anywhere - I haven't tried online dating because I'm not very photogenic. I posted a pic of myself here and everybody agreed I was decent looking but I'm much much much better looking than that in real life. I still plan on doing online dating at some point

4)I don't care about one night stands at all

5)I want a cute ethnic woman couple years younger than me. I love Spanish, Italian, light skin black, Arab, I would even date Asian if she had some ass (most Asians have no ass unfortunately). I would date Filipino or Thai also

I just don't want a light skin white women, especially if she is a little older than me. They age horribly

my 5 things I need

1)cute/nice fit body with some curves (I love ass)
2)genuinely great person
3)decent job/classy/decent with finances
4)no kids
5)intelligent

 

[lizardking82]

Why you acting picky on the food you will eat when you're practically starving, my man?

 

[Murk]

You need to be using these “subpar” girls as target practice. Build some momentum. As things stand you will find your unicorn and she will see the insecure little bitchboy in you and run a mile. You’ll prob come on here and make a thread about how awesome you are but somehow this girl you liked didn’t want to know.

 

[sosousage]

I'm looking for a relationship. I'm not gonna date anybody older than me - would only make a small exception if I met a hot black girl. Black women age crazy well

I am 23 and i date 25-29 chicks. If i had to date 18-22s id cry.

 

[bigdave17]

I am 23 and i date 25-29 chicks. If i had to date 18-22s id cry.

women age absolutely awful unless you're dating a black girl

if you plan on being with these girls long term, they will look so much older than you

 

[sosousage]

women age absolutely awful unless you're dating a black girl

if you plan on being with these girls long term, they will look so much older than you

Is long term possible with their hypergamy? I am not their best pick. They will switch from me when they realise it as it always happened to me. But thats why i txt with more girls now

 

[lizardking82]

women age absolutely awful unless you're dating a black girl

if you plan on being with these girls long term, they will look so much older than you

Dude, stop talking like you're some women master.

@sosousage I don't get on with anyone that's older than 25/26. The main plate right now is 23, the other one is 25 and then there's two plates who are 16 and 21. Young and fresh.

 

[foreverAFC]

this guy is the indian race troll

 

[Desdinova]

I didn't hit on any of the girls
I didn't pursue anything
Am I making dating much much harder than it really is?

You're not making anything because you're putting any effort into dating. Going out just to look pretty will guarantee that you're going to grow old and regretful because of all your missed opportunities.

Shouldn't a guy like me be completely dominating and be able to get almost any girl he wants??

No, because you don't put any effort into even getting the easy women. If you actually worked on your game whenever you had the opportunity, you'd have absolutely no problem getting the women you WANT. Instead, you self-sabotage because you think you deserve the best. The people who deserve the best are those who work for it, and you are not one of those people.

I hope you enjoy laying on your lonely death bed at age 80, regretting all the women you didn't fvck when your d1ck was still functional solely because you thought you were too good for all of them. That's the direction you're headed.

 

[bigdave17]

You're not making anything because you're putting any effort into dating. Going out just to look pretty will guarantee that you're going to grow old and regretful because of all your missed opportunities.

no you're right man

I put in so much effort to make sure I look perfect when I go out. All my outfits are super upscale and perfectly matched. My facial scruff is the perfect length to have that ruggedly handsome look. My hair looks perfect. I workout like an animal to be in shape

I do all that because I'm hoping that a really cute girl (who fits my requirements) will make herself easily available to me and it just doesn't happen. Women approach me but it's never anyone who fits what I want. I'm scared to go after what I really want.

It's not a question of me thinking I'm too good for everyone. You guys are misinterpreting my fear for arrogance. There were a group of ethnic super cuties (looked Spanish/Italian/Arab, which is what I want). God I was dying to talk to any of them but I just didn't see any way to make it happen without extreme awkwardness

I'm scared of success, I'm scared of rejection

 

[AJ84]

no you're right man

I put in so much effort to make sure I look perfect when I go out. All my outfits are super upscale and perfectly matched. My facial scruff is the perfect length to have that ruggedly handsome look. My hair looks perfect. I workout like an animal to be in shape

I do all that because I'm hoping that a really cute girl (who fits my requirements) will make herself easily available to me and it just doesn't happen. Women approach me but it's never anyone who fits what I want. I'm scared to go after what I really want.

It's not a question of me thinking I'm too good for everyone. You guys are misinterpreting my fear for arrogance. There were a group of ethnic super cuties (looked Spanish/Italian/Arab, which is what I want). God I was dying to talk to any of them but I just didn't see any way to make it happen without extreme awkwardness

I'm scared of success, I'm scared of rejection

The effort you are putting in to look good should be mainly for you, not to get a hot Latina/ Arab/ Black girl as a reward. You are putting yourself in a position to be used by women if you need them to feel fulfilled, and from what you are posting that seems to be the case whether you admit that or not.

You are creating the void that you are tying to fill.

If you are scared of success, despite the success you have in your career and looks, that may be something for you to look into, where that's coming from.

 

[bigdave17]

The effort you are putting in to look good should be mainly for you, not to get a hot Latina/ Arab/ Black girl as a reward. You are putting yourself in a position to be used by women if you need them to feel fulfilled, and from what you are posting that seems to be the case whether you admit that or not.

You are creating the void that you are tying to fill.

If you are scared of success, despite the success you have in your career and looks, that may be something for you to look into, where that's coming from.

did you ever read about people who are abduction victims and they get so used to the abuse that they don't believe they deserve any better- freedom is terrifying to them

that's almost what I am. I've been so used to being miserable and single that actually having a happy relationship with a woman is scary to me.

 

[Murk]

I went through a similar thing with relationships in that I thought I would not find a decent girl (had plenty of bangs). It got to the point when I met my ex 9 months ago and just rolled straight into a relationship because it was so effortless even though I knew I wasn't mega attracted to her and we weren't right for each other.

You can always change your situation, you talk about being super confident then say you're scared to approach - well which is it? The information you provide us is not consistent.

 

[AJ84]

did you ever read about people who are abduction victims and they get so used to the abuse that they don't believe they deserve any better- freedom is terrifying to them

that's almost what I am. I've been so used to being miserable and single that actually having a happy relationship with a woman is scary to me.

Yeah I have heard of that.

But I think you struck oil with that revelation. May want to look into how that is having a negative effect on your goals around women and how you can overcome it. If all else with you is as you say, with the success and the likability and the looks then the issue has to be from within, and it's fixable.

 

[Von]

Trust me Bigdave, definitely think you would find alot of fun in the gay villages.

I've been walking the same road as you since forever.

And the path to making your dream come true is dropping these walls, and just talk to the first person you come across, the next day 2 persons.

Just ask them how are they doing, what would make them happy right now.

It's not so different from selling cars.

It will only work if you ready to put down the walls you made, and start accepting to reach out.

No change is instant, It will take time, but you have all the time in the world when you self-improve and build your business.

See talking to girls and number closing + date as self-improvement.

You are a maniac of self-improvement and here is self-improvement website