"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Guys asking for analysis of their problems...
- Thread starter Ripper
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Docs
Banned
IRT Mindset... seeking validation for what they think...I think it's the wrong mindset. You should be seeking to understanding what you did wrong by yourself, and plain accepting the fact that sometimes it just wasn't going to happen, period, end of subject.
everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
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This stuff might sound simple on paper but in reality its a process to learn how to dress well, how to conversate fluidly, how to have an interesting life both you and others really enjoy, how to avoid being overly logical/too serious, and how to stope automatic negative thoughts from taking over.
Mostly I don't comment on specific questions about specific women.. very rarely will you find me doing that. I try to give advice on how to improve in *general* rather than how to try an improve one specific situation with one specific person whom the guy is (usually) not even really involved with in any meaningful way.
I think we're cut from the same cloth. I agree strongly with what both of you guys have said. I think if you can get the 'general' (mindset) right you drastically reduce the 'specific' problems.everywomanshero said:Mostly I don't comment on specific questions about specific women.. very rarely will you find me doing that. I try to give advice on how to improve in *general* rather than how to try an improve one specific situation with one specific person whom the guy is (usually) not even really involved with in any meaningful way.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Oh it's not about fighting trends. We're just making observations here.Cod3r said:Only a few people on here are even serious about real success, most just want their oneitis girl to notice them... that's the use of the forum and enough people help out, so it continues... don't fight the trend
-Cod3r
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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- Apr 15, 2003
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- 47
Yes. Absolutely. But at least they're acknowledging they have a problem. It'll take them a while to discover what that problem is...even if you tell them, they won't hear it until they want to.Ripper said:Does anyone else think that guys who detail all their problems here wondering if they made the right moves and what her actions meant, have, on a fundamental level, the wrong mindset for attracting girls/women?
Yes, you're quite right. I guess to rephrase slightly, I feel that guys asking for analysis is an indicator that they have not yet achieved true self-confidence. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Hell I was like that for a few months always questioning what girls were doing. I think though that when we're truly confident and happy we simply don't think about girls and related problems. Certainly not nearly as much as the AFC days.vorbis said:well this is a "discussion board". Its all very well posting abstract comments about living your life and becoming more confident. For most peope that takes time and effort. If someone comes across a situation where they're unsure how to proceed then asking for advice can help give them an idea.