"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Guy-speak - Post Translations

M

Mike32ct

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This is just for fun and not in any way intended to put us down.

While us men are definitely more direct than women, sometimes we speak in code too.

"I hooked up." =. I only got a makeout. If I got laid, I'd say so and brag more.

"She's a b@tch." = She's mean to me and won't F me.

"I've known this girl for a year." = I still never made a move on her. Is it too late?

"I have a date tonight." = I hate this dinner BS. I just want to F her.

"I've been in the game a few years now." = I've read 2000 posts, 50 ebooks, and did three approaches lol.

"I took this girl home but had too much to drink." = Whiskey d@ck
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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I

Iceberg

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"I'm a relationship guy" = I don't have the balls to get a variety of poon on a regular basis, so I sink my claws into the first chick who likes me
 
PokerStar

PokerStar

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"my balls are itchy" - I need a shower
"i dont know" - i dont want to make a decision until I hear the whole story
 
P

PDubb75

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"She's not my type" - I don't think I have a shot in hell with her.

"She's thick" - Hopefully I fvck her soon so you don't meet her and see she's actually obese.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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S

Strelok

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I Find you really nice= I wanna have sex with you

I have two tickets for the cinema = I wanna have sex with you

Yes, you're right= I wanna have sex with you

Lets go out tonight= I wanna have sex with you

No problem,u can stay at my place= I wanna have sex with you

You're very intelligent= I wanna have sex with you

Glad to see you again= I wanna have sex with you

You're friend looks nice= I wanna have sex with her

No no I cant,it would make it uncomfortable for your room mate=
I wanna have sex with her

Do you still work at the gym?= I wanna have sex with your friend there

I want to marry you= I want to make it harder for you to fvck others

I'm traditional= you're still the woman in the couple remember it

I'm tired from work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

I'll do it later= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Damn I have to go back at work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Nevermind= you're even more stupid that I tought

Can't answer right now= I didnt paid attention to any single word you said
 
M

Mike32ct

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"I could approach her, but she's not my type." = I'm scared sh@tless.

"Let's have a drink first, then we can approach." = I'm scared sh@tless. Maybe some liquor courage and procrastination will help my approach anxiety.

"I COULD pull her, but I don't feel like it." = My ego doesn't want to risk rejection.

"How do you know each other?" = Is that dude with you a boyfriend that will kick my a@s?

"Where are you staying?" = Can I come over?

"Come over my place to see my fish tank.". = I don't have a fish tank. Come over and let's have s@x.

"I don't have a condom with me." = I never thought I would get that far with you.
 
L

loveshogun

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"Hi, my name's Love Shogun." = "I am the ultimate man."
 
A

Alex DeLarge

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Hahaha this is pretty fvcking funny!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SamTheHobit

SamTheHobit

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loveshogun said:
"Hi, my name's Love Shogun." = "I am the ultimate man."
Click to expand...
lol = lol
 
T

The_411

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It boils down to

either

xyz = I want to have sex
abc = Get the f away from me.
 
F

f283000

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I Find you really nice= I wanna have sex with you

I have two tickets for the cinema = I wanna have sex with you

Yes, you're right= I wanna have sex with you

Lets go out tonight= I wanna have sex with you

No problem,u can stay at my place= I wanna have sex with you

You're very intelligent= I wanna have sex with you

Glad to see you again= I wanna have sex with you

You're friend looks nice= I wanna have sex with her

No no I cant,it would make it uncomfortable for your room mate=
I wanna have sex with her

Do you still work at the gym?= I wanna have sex with your friend there
Click to expand...
LOL! When you think about it all our interactions w women could be summed up with "I want to have secks w you"
 
nismo-4

nismo-4

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Strelok said:
I Find you really nice= I wanna have sex with you

I have two tickets for the cinema = I wanna have sex with you

Yes, you're right= I wanna have sex with you

Lets go out tonight= I wanna have sex with you

No problem,u can stay at my place= I wanna have sex with you

You're very intelligent= I wanna have sex with you

Glad to see you again= I wanna have sex with you

You're friend looks nice= I wanna have sex with her

No no I cant,it would make it uncomfortable for your room mate=
I wanna have sex with her

Do you still work at the gym?= I wanna have sex with your friend there

I want to marry you= I want to make it harder for you to fvck others

I'm traditional= you're still the woman in the couple remember it

I'm tired from work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

I'll do it later= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Damn I have to go back at work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Nevermind= you're even more stupid that I tought

Can't answer right now= I didnt paid attention to any single word you said
Click to expand...
I laughed so f**kin' hard!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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nismo-4

nismo-4

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I'm not looking for a girlfriend: I can't get a girlfriend

I like fat girls: I can't get a woman who's attractive.

I like big boned women: See above

I don't have a date tonight: I couldn't get one

She wasn't my type: She rejected me

It's her loss: See above

I wasn't into her: See above

She'll call me: No she won't!

I'm looking for a relationship: I have little to no options.

I need to date older women: I can't get a young one to give me the time of day in a clockshop!

I can't stand young women: See above

I need love: I need pu$$y!

I need a girlfriend: I haven't dated in a while

You're sweet: I wanna to get in your pants

Nice (Insert item, clothing, or body part here): See above.
 
M

Mike32ct

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"I think he's gay." = Why are women paying attention to him and not me?

"He's a d@uchbag." = See above.

"I can't stand him." = See above.

"My wingman stole my target." = She threw herself at him and won't give me the right time of day."

"I'd like to take you on a date." = I feel like I have to take you on a date. If I flat out told you what I wanted, you'd run.

"Are you here with friends?" = Tell me upfront how many c@ckblockers I have to deal with. If it's more than one, I'm gonna take off.

<To the club/bar bouncer/doorman> "Hey man is it gonna be good here tonight?" = Is it worth spending my time and money at this place or will it be the usual sausage fest?

<Looking at a buddy's car> "What's it got?" = How powerful an engine does your ride have? Provide all specifications including number of cylinders, power, torque, and compression ratio lol.
 
P

PDubb75

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Mike32ct said:
<To the club/bar bouncer/doorman> "Hey man is it gonna be good here tonight?" = Is it worth spending my time and money at this place or will it be the usual sausage fest?
Click to expand...
Oh boy, has that been me multiple times...
 
M

Mike32ct

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"Do you have your period?" = I want to F you but don't want to ruin my designer sheets from Walmart.

"Did you get your period?" = Tell me you're not pregnant. I promise to wrap it up NEXT time. Just cut me some slack THIS time.

"Wanna dance?" = May I dry hump you?

"I'm trying to be the alpha male of my group of friends." = But they never listen to a word I say.
 
S

st_99

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Friend: "So was that chick you banged last night hot?"

Me: "She was ok" = She was ugly :whistle:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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