Guy-speak - Post Translations

[Mike32ct]

This is just for fun and not in any way intended to put us down.

While us men are definitely more direct than women, sometimes we speak in code too.

"I hooked up." =. I only got a makeout. If I got laid, I'd say so and brag more.

"She's a b@tch." = She's mean to me and won't F me.

"I've known this girl for a year." = I still never made a move on her. Is it too late?

"I have a date tonight." = I hate this dinner BS. I just want to F her.

"I've been in the game a few years now." = I've read 2000 posts, 50 ebooks, and did three approaches lol.

"I took this girl home but had too much to drink." = Whiskey d@ck

 

[Iceberg]

"I'm a relationship guy" = I don't have the balls to get a variety of poon on a regular basis, so I sink my claws into the first chick who likes me

 

[PokerStar]

"my balls are itchy" - I need a shower
"i dont know" - i dont want to make a decision until I hear the whole story

 

[PDubb75]

"She's not my type" - I don't think I have a shot in hell with her.

"She's thick" - Hopefully I fvck her soon so you don't meet her and see she's actually obese.

 

[Mike32ct]

"Hey (wingman) let's bounce to this other bar/club. This one s@cks." = The girls here won't give me the right time of day. I need greener pastures.

 

[Strelok]

I Find you really nice= I wanna have sex with you

I have two tickets for the cinema = I wanna have sex with you

Yes, you're right= I wanna have sex with you

Lets go out tonight= I wanna have sex with you

No problem,u can stay at my place= I wanna have sex with you

You're very intelligent= I wanna have sex with you

Glad to see you again= I wanna have sex with you

You're friend looks nice= I wanna have sex with her

No no I cant,it would make it uncomfortable for your room mate=
I wanna have sex with her

Do you still work at the gym?= I wanna have sex with your friend there

I want to marry you= I want to make it harder for you to fvck others

I'm traditional= you're still the woman in the couple remember it

I'm tired from work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

I'll do it later= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Damn I have to go back at work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Nevermind= you're even more stupid that I tought

Can't answer right now= I didnt paid attention to any single word you said

 

[Drdeee]

With this info you guys can lay a homo any day!

 

[Mike32ct]

"I could approach her, but she's not my type." = I'm scared sh@tless.

"Let's have a drink first, then we can approach." = I'm scared sh@tless. Maybe some liquor courage and procrastination will help my approach anxiety.

"I COULD pull her, but I don't feel like it." = My ego doesn't want to risk rejection.

"How do you know each other?" = Is that dude with you a boyfriend that will kick my a@s?

"Where are you staying?" = Can I come over?

"Come over my place to see my fish tank.". = I don't have a fish tank. Come over and let's have s@x.

"I don't have a condom with me." = I never thought I would get that far with you.

 

[loveshogun]

"Hi, my name's Love Shogun." = "I am the ultimate man."

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Hahaha this is pretty fvcking funny!

 

[SamTheHobit]

"Hi, my name's Love Shogun." = "I am the ultimate man."

lol = lol

 

[The_411]

It boils down to

either

xyz = I want to have sex
abc = Get the f away from me.

 

[pdx1138]

HB9 = the way you see it

 

[f283000]

I Find you really nice= I wanna have sex with you

I have two tickets for the cinema = I wanna have sex with you

Yes, you're right= I wanna have sex with you

Lets go out tonight= I wanna have sex with you

No problem,u can stay at my place= I wanna have sex with you

You're very intelligent= I wanna have sex with you

Glad to see you again= I wanna have sex with you

You're friend looks nice= I wanna have sex with her

No no I cant,it would make it uncomfortable for your room mate=
I wanna have sex with her

Do you still work at the gym?= I wanna have sex with your friend there

LOL! When you think about it all our interactions w women could be summed up with "I want to have secks w you"

 

[nismo-4]

I Find you really nice= I wanna have sex with you

I have two tickets for the cinema = I wanna have sex with you

Yes, you're right= I wanna have sex with you

Lets go out tonight= I wanna have sex with you

No problem,u can stay at my place= I wanna have sex with you

You're very intelligent= I wanna have sex with you

Glad to see you again= I wanna have sex with you

You're friend looks nice= I wanna have sex with her

No no I cant,it would make it uncomfortable for your room mate=
I wanna have sex with her

Do you still work at the gym?= I wanna have sex with your friend there

I want to marry you= I want to make it harder for you to fvck others

I'm traditional= you're still the woman in the couple remember it

I'm tired from work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

I'll do it later= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Damn I have to go back at work= shut the fvck up and leave me alone

Nevermind= you're even more stupid that I tought

Can't answer right now= I didnt paid attention to any single word you said

I laughed so f**kin' hard!

 

[nismo-4]

I'm not looking for a girlfriend: I can't get a girlfriend

I like fat girls: I can't get a woman who's attractive.

I like big boned women: See above

I don't have a date tonight: I couldn't get one

She wasn't my type: She rejected me

It's her loss: See above

I wasn't into her: See above

She'll call me: No she won't!

I'm looking for a relationship: I have little to no options.

I need to date older women: I can't get a young one to give me the time of day in a clockshop!

I can't stand young women: See above

I need love: I need pu$$y!

I need a girlfriend: I haven't dated in a while

You're sweet: I wanna to get in your pants

Nice (Insert item, clothing, or body part here): See above.

 

[Mike32ct]

"I think he's gay." = Why are women paying attention to him and not me?

"He's a d@uchbag." = See above.

"I can't stand him." = See above.

"My wingman stole my target." = She threw herself at him and won't give me the right time of day."

"I'd like to take you on a date." = I feel like I have to take you on a date. If I flat out told you what I wanted, you'd run.

"Are you here with friends?" = Tell me upfront how many c@ckblockers I have to deal with. If it's more than one, I'm gonna take off.

<To the club/bar bouncer/doorman> "Hey man is it gonna be good here tonight?" = Is it worth spending my time and money at this place or will it be the usual sausage fest?

<Looking at a buddy's car> "What's it got?" = How powerful an engine does your ride have? Provide all specifications including number of cylinders, power, torque, and compression ratio lol.

 

[PDubb75]

<To the club/bar bouncer/doorman> "Hey man is it gonna be good here tonight?" = Is it worth spending my time and money at this place or will it be the usual sausage fest?

Oh boy, has that been me multiple times...

 

[Mike32ct]

"Do you have your period?" = I want to F you but don't want to ruin my designer sheets from Walmart.

"Did you get your period?" = Tell me you're not pregnant. I promise to wrap it up NEXT time. Just cut me some slack THIS time.

"Wanna dance?" = May I dry hump you?

"I'm trying to be the alpha male of my group of friends." = But they never listen to a word I say.

 

[st_99]

Friend: "So was that chick you banged last night hot?"

Me: "She was ok" = She was ugly