"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Guy has his balls literally handed to him

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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mpimpin

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1. How the hell do you come across a 5 year old article like that?

2. I did not know you could physically rip a ball off....
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Rule number one, anybody grabs your balls and starts pulling hard like that, all remnants of civilization should leave your mind immediately, and you should start hammering the face of the puller as hard as you fukking can.

There was some case of a guy who strangled a woman to death because while they were having sex, she was on top, and reached back and grabbed his balls, started squeezing, and wouldn't let go. To protect himself, he reached up and choked her to death.

Don't know if he was found guilty or not, but that was his defense. He was somebody famous, (some cousin or somebody like that of the Kennedy's I think) and it happened about twenty years ago.
 

Razor Sharp

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I know, I know - 5 years is a long time. I had no idea about this story till this bird I'm chatting up sends me this link. Needless to say she has been bumped DOWN in the rotation. Now every time I think of her I have visions of torn, bloody scrotums, kind of a buzzkill.

I still can't believe she tried to eat his nut tho! WTF was that all about???!!

@taiyuu_otoko - that's a great story - you don't remember who it was by any chance?
 
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