Guy exhibits impulsive behavior and I am not sure what do next

[dutchmaster]

so some guy you're playing games with is playing them back?

lol karma's a b1tch

 

[zinc4]

Live your dream nailed it....OP...you are a very silly little girl. Go play around with single guys.

 

[DreamyChick]

Yes, I read those posts too Live your Dream. I admit at the time I did have some clue what I thought was going on but there was a lot of back and forth. He never tried to kiss meso in my mind I did not have enough proof so I put a lot of value in his words and thought he found me unattractive, and only liked me as a friend or casual acquaintaince. I thought maybe he was enjoying the attention I was giving him at the time.Yes, you can point your finger at me all you want, but he knew how I felt about him at the time, and he did not want to tell me his intentions. Now I have decided to distance myself from him.

 

[Amer1group]

I don't want to jude. If you want a man to tell you his intentions convince the rest of the woman of the world to stop being bitter about direct talk. You stripped your credibility yourself; next time you want someone to agree with you, try a women forum, there all post are like "it's all the men's fault", you would be happier.

 

[MrWood]

and in the 10 years... you had relationships...
now you are single... lonely... desperate... wall is coming!!!

reverse the situation and consider a MAN doing this to YOU...
YOU were never interested in HIM and now YOU are married w/kids.

How does that MAN look to you, hmmmm?
Friendship? really...?
Desperate looser? yep.

 

[BeExcellent]

The answer is leave him alone. Respect yourself and respect him.

LYD has broken it down well. Even if you were innocent then (you weren't) don't feign innocence now.

So that's the answer. Move along & forget him. Seriously. There is nothing good which comes from this interaction.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Simulating sex is what you do with friends you are not interested in sexually or vice versa? I am not buying that, or that it was done in innocence unaware that he was wanting sex with you and you were playing games about what he needed to do, if you were ever going to allow him to have sex with you.

I am not a fan of deceit. You can come back and repackage how innocent and unaware you were 10 years ago and still are 10 years later. Your actions and posts speak for themselves. I get that you got off on this man's attention and then withholding sex from him repeatedly, 10 years ago. I get that you just did that to him, just recently, 10 years later, and you got off on it too. Just like old times, you logged on here, to talk to other men about it and play innocent to them as well asking questions like you don't understand what's going on. It's sick.

Sure you cam suggest it was just another innocent misunderstanding about what friendship is vs what constitutes leading a man on and getting him hot thinking about sex, only to deny him, as your own little power trip over him. I see it clearly. Package it however you want, but the intent inside remains clear.

Go ahead and repackage it for another 500 posts and maybe somebody here will buy it and give you the attention you so desperately seek, under the costume of innocent women who has know idea she teases men only sexually to walk away leaving them unfulfilled, over and over and over. I think most men here are way too smart to fall for your ploy.

@MrWood assumed you've been in relationships in the last ten years. I am not so convinced. You don't consider others, so it seems much less likely to me, unless you just steamrolled them. Your history shows you prefer to simply toy with them. Have you been in long term relationships in the last ten years? How long? For the record, did you actually ever give up your virginity or have just perpetually just teased men with it? If you answered the previous questions, did you tell the truth or just lie to support your costume of innocence? I know will never know. Authenticity is a bit more obvious than you realize.

I don't enjoy calling other women out like this. Not at all. Women like you, are the reason there are so many bitter and disheartened men. They deserve better from women. I like to connect with women who share similar values and who admire and respect men, not a women who deceive and manipulate men to get her jollies, at their expense. I know, tell us all again, it was all an innocent mistake, or misunderstanding, then and now. A misunderstanding? I don't buy it.

Do you have BPD or another PD? Have you been diagnosed? Maybe it's time to get some help and stop hurting others? Whether you have harmed intentionally or not, with professional help, perhaps you can choose to live differently moving forward.

I understand some women have made great strides to remediate their BPD behavior, with newer treatment strategies and approaches. You have to want it and be committed to it, more than what you are doing now. I suspect it would be life that offered you far more true fulfillment than you've yet known. Consider checking it out.

Well d@ng, you told her. And I tried to explain to people who play too much that it actually feels much better and much more rewarding to "do people right". Still as males we need some amount of game, because telegraphing your intentions and being 100% transparent is not as sexually attractive. But still we don't have to play with people.

 

[Tictac]

Yes, I read those posts too Live your Dream. I admit at the time I did have some clue what I thought was going on but there was a lot of back and forth. He never tried to kiss meso in my mind I did not have enough proof so I put a lot of value in his words and thought he found me unattractive, and only liked me as a friend or casual acquaintaince. I thought maybe he was enjoying the attention I was giving him at the time.Yes, you can point your finger at me all you want, but he knew how I felt about him at the time, and he did not want to tell me his intentions. Now I have decided to distance myself from him.

You're a simple AW. Leave him alone.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

This saddens me. Out of the billions of women in the world, I have only heard of 3 (on the internet mind you) who are consciously letting men be dominant and actually ENCOURAGE them to be real men. But then I have to remember that there are people like you put there who toy with men's emotions. I used to believe that SOME things a woman does (that is harmful to others) is unintentional. But as I get older and older, read more and more, see more and more, hear more and more, and reflect my past experiences as well as those of others, then I realize more and more how little a chance there is of me, or ANY man for that matter, finding any suitable future prospects. Even my own mother will ask things of me that seem futile and I will ask her why and she says "I'm just testing you to see what you'll do and how you'll react". Damn, what kind of world is it where you can't even trust your own mother not to try to manipulate you?

Guess it's time to become jaded towards people again.

 

[DreamyChick]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am going to leave him alone.

 

[DreamyChick]

So he texted today to ask if we could talk about what happened and he was firm that he didn't proposition me just joked about having a girl friend and wife. He also said he's only ever been kind and appropriate and that I the only friend of his that reacted this way to one of his obvious jokes. He said that he was joking and so it all seems like a huge overreaction to which he overreacted to. So he went on to say he won't bother me anymore. So that's that. He must have said he was kidding at least 8 times in the conversation.

 

[MrWood]

you dont lie to a woman that you have a wife AND a girlfriend
I dont care how much "frame" you have, and that you are the only one ever to missread him and overreact
*cough*cough*

you Misssy, are being bullsh1tted to and psychologically manipulated on the highest order

hint: re-read what you wrote 10 times

"won't bother you anymore" after all this and everything I see...
classic PUA and hardcore NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) are being used on you in a very unhealthy way

run away very fast

 

[DreamyChick]

you dont lie to a woman that you have a wife AND a girlfriend
I dont care how much "frame" you have, and that you are the only one ever to missread him and overreact
*cough*cough*

you Misssy, are being bullsh1tted to on the highest order

I also asked him why he just came over without telling me and he said that it was because I seemed upset and that he was worried and that he wouldn't do that again. I told him that he was the first married man to ever joke with me about having a girl friend and a wife. He actually had me back tracking feeling like maybe I was way off base about the situation.

 

[MrWood]

had you backtrack - forcing you to question YOURSELF on his "facts"
you overreacted - see above

do you fvcking get it? WE ARE WARNING YOU NOW TO GTF AWAY FROM THIS GUY

 

[DreamyChick]

had you backtrack - forcing you to question YOURSELF on his "facts"
you overreacted - see above

do you fvcking get it? WE ARE WARNING YOU NOW TO GTF AWAY FROM THIS GUY

Yes, something still seems very off about the whole thing and it is not sitting well with me.

 

[MrWood]

and yet you are still justifying it...

"not sitting well" "very off"

why are you even trying to rationalize this with any logic?

 

[DreamyChick]

and yet you are still justifying it...

"not sitting well" "very off"

why are you even trying to rationalize this with any logic?

You're right. I can't justify it or use logic. He was this way with me 10 years ago; he would act one way and say something completely different. One of my female friends has repeatedly expressed concerns about his behavior over the years. Whenever I ever tried to call him out on anything he did he always had a reason and I always ended up second guessing myself.

 

[MrWood]

he is psychotic, if not a clinically diagnosed operational high level schizophrenic
ever watch documentaries about serial killers?
run, just like your friend said.

he himself said "that I (was) the only friend of his that reacted this way to one of his obvious jokes."

so he admits there are "others". other women he is and has been doing this to.
it is his game, you are on his hit list because he has finished with the last victim.

He is a disturbed and very sick person

 

[DreamyChick]

@MrWood Thanks for offering your perspective. Some of the other posters seemed quick to label me the bad guy. Last weekend he kept pushing me to talk to him and that was why I was silent, only I didn't think he would show up at my door. I thought he had boundaries.

 

[MrWood]

and shows up at your house unannounced...
(forgot that obvious sign of all kinds of RED FLAGS)

if you were watching a drama/thriller right now...
would you feel safe for the woman?