guru1000
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2007
- Messages
- 5,299
- Reaction score
- 4,338
I haven’t done one of these in a while. Kids, don't try this at home.
Tonight’s lucky girl: 28 yos, HB 8.5, 5’6”, approx. 115 lbs, Persian
I met her online on Match. Date scheduled for 8 p.m. I roll in fashionably late—the usual—at 8:30. This is a test of interest. Will she wait? I'm still in my work clothes: suit and tie. There she stands, hot, by the bar in a lounge staring at her phone. The lounge is overcrowded due to a party. I approach, introduce myself, and tell her let’s go somewhere else as it’s too crowded. She agrees. We exit and walk to my car, which is parked directly outside the lounge by valet. She now can see me clearly in the light. The infamous fluttering of the eyes, eyes wide open, smiling ear-to-ear begins. Here it is again. The all too familiar. Yes, the infamous signs of powerful animal attraction.
As I’m driving toward a new “destination,” I noticed I have just become the funniest man on Earth. Every joke I made was welcomed by an entourage of exaggerated laughs. So I think to myself, why bother with the drinks. Five minutes into my driving, at a red light, I grab her by the back of her hair firmly and start kissing her. She willingly submits and starts to become aggressive herself. So I pull over, and start making out. Ten minutes into it, I pull back, as if I am in deep thought.
“What is it?” she asks.
Guru: “Forget the drinks. Do you live alone?”
"Yes.”
Guru: “Ok, let's go hang out at your place. Where do you live?”
She tells me the address which is six blocks away. I park in the garage across the street. We go up to her apartment. She proceeds to pour a drink in the living room bar. I stop her, take her, and throw her lightly onto the sofa, where a heavy makeout session begins. After five minutes, I rip off her clothes, and then mine. I reach into my pant’s pockets for a condom, and bag it up. I don't bother to get her wet because I know she is already gushing. Without hesitation, I go in directly for the kill, as if we have done this 1000 times before already. I enter. Three minutes later, it is over. I get up, put on my clothes, finish the drink she was trying to prep, without a word kiss her on the forehead, and leave.
Total time from first meet to lay: 57 minutes
Total cost of the date: $45.50 (Valet, Garage, and Condom)
I just got a text from her: "Why did you leave so fast?" LOL
Ya … life sucks for us older DJs.
Tonight’s lucky girl: 28 yos, HB 8.5, 5’6”, approx. 115 lbs, Persian
I met her online on Match. Date scheduled for 8 p.m. I roll in fashionably late—the usual—at 8:30. This is a test of interest. Will she wait? I'm still in my work clothes: suit and tie. There she stands, hot, by the bar in a lounge staring at her phone. The lounge is overcrowded due to a party. I approach, introduce myself, and tell her let’s go somewhere else as it’s too crowded. She agrees. We exit and walk to my car, which is parked directly outside the lounge by valet. She now can see me clearly in the light. The infamous fluttering of the eyes, eyes wide open, smiling ear-to-ear begins. Here it is again. The all too familiar. Yes, the infamous signs of powerful animal attraction.
As I’m driving toward a new “destination,” I noticed I have just become the funniest man on Earth. Every joke I made was welcomed by an entourage of exaggerated laughs. So I think to myself, why bother with the drinks. Five minutes into my driving, at a red light, I grab her by the back of her hair firmly and start kissing her. She willingly submits and starts to become aggressive herself. So I pull over, and start making out. Ten minutes into it, I pull back, as if I am in deep thought.
“What is it?” she asks.
Guru: “Forget the drinks. Do you live alone?”
"Yes.”
Guru: “Ok, let's go hang out at your place. Where do you live?”
She tells me the address which is six blocks away. I park in the garage across the street. We go up to her apartment. She proceeds to pour a drink in the living room bar. I stop her, take her, and throw her lightly onto the sofa, where a heavy makeout session begins. After five minutes, I rip off her clothes, and then mine. I reach into my pant’s pockets for a condom, and bag it up. I don't bother to get her wet because I know she is already gushing. Without hesitation, I go in directly for the kill, as if we have done this 1000 times before already. I enter. Three minutes later, it is over. I get up, put on my clothes, finish the drink she was trying to prep, without a word kiss her on the forehead, and leave.
Total time from first meet to lay: 57 minutes
Total cost of the date: $45.50 (Valet, Garage, and Condom)
I just got a text from her: "Why did you leave so fast?" LOL
Ya … life sucks for us older DJs.
